Saturday, May 20, 2006

Would You Like Flies With That?

It looks as though gator season is now going to be not only open, but permanent, year long, day i and day out, wit no limits. If you are a gator, that is, hunting humans. Ther have already been three fatalities involving alligator attacks on young women, one being a 23 year old woman from Louisville, who was attacked whie snorkeling. Her attacker was captured, pending forensic identification with the gators teeth to the bite marks on the body of te unfortunate woman, who died by a combination of blunt force trauma and drowning.

It was somewhat easier to identify the killer of one of another victims. One of her arms was inside the stomach of the gator that was captured shortly after the attack, after the animal was euthanized. What struck me odd about this incident, in patcular, is tat alligators genraly do not behave in this fashion. In most cases of a successful alligator attack upon a human being, the victim is submerged deep within the animals habitat, and given some time to, shall we say, ripen. Or so I have heard. I guess it is possible this could be a way to feed their young. But it could be something else. Like, say, starvation worsened by fierce competition amongst an overpopualtion of gators, in an ever shrinking habitat.

Desptie these incidents, one woman was intimidated by local authorites when she shot and killed an alligator who threatened to enter her home, with an eye on her dog, and so trapping the two of them within her tailor as the beast tried to force itself through her screen door. Having broke the law by the most hairsplitting of technicalities, she was threatened by said authorites with a fine and jail time (These are the kinds of sons-of-bitches, incidentally, who should be tied on skis and dragged behind a pontoon boat at five miles an hour in the middle of Okeefanoke Swamp, in my honest and outraged opinion).

What is obvious about these recent incidents is that one, there are too many people, and, two, there are also too many alligators, and that, therefore, three, these were tragedies that were all but predestined. Alligators are nothing if not living, breathing, killing machines, and require, and will seek, a minimal amount of food. Put too many of them in a limited area, add ever increasing human encroachment within these areas, resulting in further dereases in the animals habitat, and you can only expect one thing. And so far this year, it has happenned at least three times with tragic results.

And so, alligator season has started early. An old encironmental program from the 1970’s which aimed at restoring the alligator population, which at the time was an endangeed speices from an overabundance of hunting for chiefly it’s hide, has worked far too well. The policy against hunting has been finally reversed, but too late it seems for any short time good. The only answer would seem to be to extend the season as well, well past the time it nomally would end.

I have an aunt, recently widowed, who is thinking about getting married to a person she was recently introduced to by her former in-laws, in fact he is her late husbands nephews wives father. She plans on going down to where he lives, the Everglades, for about two weeks, and has promised to bring me some alligator meat upon her return. I just hope she doesn’t end up as alligator meat. But she seems unconcerned.

Florida-it might be a beautiful state to visit, but if you go there to live, you have to be crazy as hell. If you ever get a chance to look an alligator straight i the eye, you would kow what I mean. You might look at it and say, what an awesome creature. But as it looks at you, staring coldly and intently, it’s thinking probably one thing. Man, that sure would hit the