Saturday, April 28, 2012

Android Prostitutes Of The Future

Makes sense to me. Unlimited earning potential. No STD's. No lost work due to illnesses. No aging. No drug addictions. No theft of customers. No holding back money. Unlimited use and programming potential. Kind of like the future Energizer Bunnies of the sex industry. You know its going to happen sooner or later. But, unfortunately, it won't come about until about 2050, so I wouldn't get too excited, unless you're like between the ages of two and twelve.

H/T Blogging Isn't Cool

BTW, do watch the video, it's worth the price of admission even if you have zero interest in the prospect of android prostitutes. 

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Egypt Legalizes Sex Between Muslim Men And Dead Wives-Hillarity Follows

UPDATE-According to The Volokh Conspiracy  the story probably isn't true, but a rumor started by Egypt's military regime, possibly acting in conjunction with the Saudis in an effort to discredit the Muslim Brotherhood. This has been asserted by the Egyptian Embassy in Britain in a report in the Daily Mail.

Two points about this.

One, I wonder why the initial report specified it would only be legal for a man to have sex with the body of his dead wife for up to six hours after her death, but not after that.

Two, what about the report lowering the legal age of marriage to fourteen.

Three, my jokes are still funny, so there's that.

(End of Update)

Granted, its only allowed for up to six hours after the pronouncement of death, but according to this post from The Other McCain, it is now the new law in Muslim Brotherhood dominated Egypt. A way for the bereaved husband, to, uh, well, say goodbye with one last and final, uh, well, you know, what the fuck? But again, and I can't stress this too much, he can only do this, legally, for up to six hours after his wife has died. But not to worry. As compensation for his loss, he now has improved chances of finding a new love, as the marriage age has now been lowered to-fourteen. And yes. This calls for a joke. Actually, a bunch of them.

*Why did the Muslim man have sex with his dead wife? Hey, at least she didn't have a headache.

*Why did the Muslim wife commit suicide? She was tired of being neglected.

*What can you say to make a Muslim husband jealous? She looks so natural.

*Why was the Muslim man so turned on by having sex with his dead wife? It was the first time he'd ever seen her undressed.

*The jokester Muslim teens decided to play a joke on their father by hiding a walkie talkie under the head of their dead mother. They hid in the closet and waited until, sure enough, father entered to have sex with his wife's corpse. Before he mounted her, one of the teens groaned in a voice of passionate ecstasy.

 "You-can communicate with me?" the stunned man asked.

"Yes, I want you, my husband", came the reply.

So he cut her head off.


I know, I'm such an insensitive bigot.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Modern Myths

There's absolutely no truth to the current rumor that President Barak Obama once said- "The dog is a useful animal. But who would ever eat one?"


Monday, April 09, 2012

Justified-Season Finale Predictions

My Death Guess List-

Duffy-killed by Quarles, along with, maybe, his ever-present, seldom speaking hired gun. Even though Quarles is quickly losing his grip on reality, it will not have eluded him that Duffy was behind the failed attempt on his own life.

Erroll-played by an actor who next year will be a co-star on a new series on Cinemax. He will be killed, probably by Limehouse for going too far off the reservation once too often, and maybe for spilling the beans about Mag's money to Dickie. Besides, Limehouse has got to use that damn meat cleaver on somebody at least once;

Trooper Tom-presumably shot by Quarles at the end of episode twelve last week, but we never saw this. There is a theory that he was actually shot by Boyd, but I'm predicting it will actually turn out to be Arlo, who thought he was shooting Raylan, his own son. Remember, prior to this Arlo was hallucinating about the dead Helen, and locked Ava up in a room, and then made off into the night, determined to take part in a bank heist which never happened, and which was a set up by Limehouse in an attempt to get rid of all the players he thought represented a threat to him and to his beloved Noble's Holler.

Limehouse himself, I'm guessing at the end in an explosion (Mykelti Williamson said the finale would be a cliffhanger that would leave some things "up in the air"), in which Boyd and Raylan will also be present, and in which Limehouse lays out a truth about their shared past.

This has to do with an advertised surprise about Boyd, which will have nothing to do with shooting Trooper Tom. Instead it will come when Limehouse reveals to Raylan and Boyd that they are in fact half-brothers.

Though I think its an obvious assumption Quarles will be killed, I think there's a decent chance he is taken by Tonin back to Detroit, where he goes back to being a male prostitute not just as a punishment but to make amends for his prior misdeeds. Of course, he could also be killed by Arlo in the act of saving son Rayland. And I know that sounds contradictory in the face of the previous prediction involving Trooper Tom, but remember-Arlo is dealing with an advancing case of dementia and is off his meds. As such, he is very unpredictable.

Well, there you have it. I'll probably be wrong about every damn bit of it, but I guess we'll see tonight. Tuesday 10:00 pm on FX.

UPDATE: I forgot to add, about the money Limehouse is seen in the previews trying to give Boyd ('there's even a little interest"), this might be the same money, "46,000 dollars and change", with which Limehouse twice earlier in the season tried to placate Dickie. (CORRECTION-I forgot that money was confiscated by Tim and Rachel in episode eleven) My guess is it will turn out to be marked money, maybe from a robbery someone "deposited" in Limehouse's "bank", and is just another way he has of getting Boyd out of his hair, like Dickie before him. Of course the minute anybody tried to spend any such money, they would be busted, or eventually would.

UPDATE: Much has been said about the finale ending in a "heart-wrenching" way for Raylan. This will probably have a connection to the time his mother, in an attempt to get away from Arlo, left him (and by extension her young son, Raylan) to seek refuge at Noble's Holler. We'll learn the full story behind this, which is where I'm guessing Raylan might find out he and Boyd are half-brothers.

At the same time, wouldn't it be something if it turned out she's been alive all this time, a decrepit old woman, as riddled by dementia as Arlo, or worse-and still in Noble's Holler? Granted, I never saw the first season of Justified, so I might have missed something, but in these last two seasons I've never heard her death explained or for that matter stated, nor have I seen a grave.

UPDATE: It's starting up here in about ten minutes, and I've been wondering. What if Raylan is forced to kill Arlo in a gun battle, and right before taking his last breath, Arlo repeats the same thing he said earlier to Boyd? "I'm proud of you, son."

Yep, that would be a tearjerker for Raylan all right.

At any rate it all starts to unravel here in a few.

HOW IT TURNED OUT: Well I was wrong about most things, but I called it on Erroll getting killed (though by Quarles, not Limehouse, though I was right about Limehouse deciding to rid himself of Erroll. He just told him to leave the Holler).

Most importantly, I was right about Arlo being the one who killed Trooper Tom, which seemed so obvious to me I'm surprised nobody else figured it out, at least no one that I know about.

Oh, and Limehouse did finally use that damn meat cleaver on somebody. He divested Quarrels of his left forearm with it. And it was right after this, in fact, that Quarrels told Raylan it was Arlo, not himself, that killed the Trooper.

The supposedly heart-wrenching finale was overblown. It was just Raylan realizing Arlo thought he was shooting at him when he killed Trooper Tom. Because of the hat Tom wore. That and he did it to save Boyd, who told Raylan that Arlo was not part of his crew, he was like family.

So much so that not only did Arlo admit to killing Tom, he took the rap for the murder of Devil in episode four, also to protect Boyd. Yeah, all this might appear heart-wrenching, but not necessarily to Raylan, who while disgusted with his old man, and with Boyd, was not surprised enough to be truly hurt. Other than of course by the death of Tom, a good friend.

As for the rumored big surprise about Boyd, the only thing I can think of is it turning out his cousin Johnny has been a snake in the grass the whole time, was in fact the one who plotted with Limehouse to destroy Boyd, in part by informing him of the murder of Devil, and the location of the body, which Limehouse finally revealed to Raylan in another attempt to placate the Marshall.

But hey-at least I got some things right, for once.

Friday, April 06, 2012

No Reflection

New video by Marilyn Manson

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Ann Coulter-The Ugly Inside

Coulter is at it again. This isn't the first time she's insulted Sarah Palin, just the latest. Michelle Malkin jumped to Palin's defense and accused Coulter of joining in a "war against conservative women", pointing out Coulter's friendship with leftist Bill Maher. But I will repeat, this is not the first time. I don't remember exactly when it was or where it happened, but it hasn't been that long ago that Coulter joined in a rant against Palin with fellow harpy Laura Ingraham.


So what's going on here? Personally, I don't think its as complicated or insidious as Malkin thinks it is. In fact, I think there is actually a pretty simple explanation. A sad one, but simple nonetheless.


 If that seems a little simplistic, take note of what Michelle Malkin reports about yet another diss of Palin, by Coulter, at a recent Lincoln Day Dinner event, courtesy of The Shark Tank-

 “One of the ones promoting that [a brokered convention] is Sarah Palin, who has suggested herself as the choice,” Coulter said. “I think as long as it’s between us girls — I’ve been observing something about her. I don’t think it’s likely to happen. I don’t know what these people are cheering for. As I wrote in a column a few weeks back, who is this dream candidate we’re hoping to get from the convention, because Rick Perry used to be the dream candidate. Can we see them in a debate first?”

 …Coulter said that might be a weakness in the Republican Party as a whole — that certain individuals become celebrities and are allowed to profit off that status and yet still interfere in GOP politics, which Democrats have been able to avoid. 

“And just a more corporate problem is I think our party and particularly our movement, the conservative movement, does have more of a problem with con men and charlatans than the Democratic Party,” she said. “I mean, the incentives seem to be set up to allow people — as long as you have a band of a few million fanatical followers, you can make money. The Democrats have managed to figure out how not to do that.” …“The one pledge I support and I think I’m going to draft it up is for all Republican nominees for president — I want them to sign a pledge saying, ‘If I lose the nomination I pledge I will not take a gig with Fox News or write a book.’” Write a book?

Fox News? Make money off fanatical followers? Certain individuals become celebrities and yet still interfere in GOP politics?

 Projection, thy name is Coulter.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

Top 25 Political Moms Of 2012

UPDATE-The voting is now over, and Zilla unfortunately fell down to sixth place. But hey, at least she made the top ten. Congratulations to The Lonely Conservative who won first place quite handily. Always next year Zilla. Get your asses over here and vote for my friend Zilla Of The Resistance, and do it every day up to April 4th, when the contest comes to a close. You can vote for each contestant once each day, so while you're at it also vote once each day for The Lonely Conservative, who as I write this is hanging on to a slim lead over uber-leftist blogger Monologues of Dissent, to whom I will not link out of spite (plus well I'm just too lazy to copy and paste more links than necessary). It would be nice to see a conservative mommy blogger win, so I intend to vote for The Lonely Conservative, although I am still holding out hope for Zilla to win it. In fact, Zilla is now in fourth place, ahead (though barely) of Pam Gellar and not that far behind Michelle Malkin. Nothing against those two fine ladies, but I'm limiting my vote to Zilla, who deserves the win.