Thursday, May 25, 2006

American Idol

I watched a bit of American Idol the night before last, in fact, I hate to admit it, I sat through the entire showing. After all, curiosity gets the better of even the most sane among us, from time to time. Okay, I understand the initial attraction, for some, and the general idea of the show is not bad.

Past that, of course, it sucks. The music sucks, especially. The singers suck. Sure, they are good singers, dancers, and entertainers. But what the hell? This is schmaltz, people. Can you imagine any of these people competing with somebody of the calibre of Springsteen, or Dylan, or Bono? No, and I promise you, neither can they.

And neither, obvioulsly, can Simon, the acerbic judge who is really the overall star of the show, whose acidic wit has brought many a contestant to the verge of tears, and beyond. Yet, he always manages to somehow chuck his integrity during the last few episodes. What the hell else can he do besides make the most of a mediocre at best situation?

Paula Abdul? This dumb bitch would probably prefer to be in a back storage room somewhere pulling a train on all the male contestants. By the same token, she is perfect here, as she is an acute representative of this brand of mind numbing entertainment.

I don’t know who the hell Randy is. I don’t think he knows what he is doing there, either. He has an affinity for the term dog, which sure as hell fits with the overall scope of this shows talent.

Ryan Seacrest is an affable enough host for the show, and is the subject of constant talk show rumors pertaining to his purported sexual preferences. Here again, why is this a matter of speculation? Why would anybody care? But then again, why would anybody care about this show?

Well, evidently they do. Taylor Hicks, last nights winner of American Idol, is just the latest in a seies of third rate at best talents to win the final vote tally, accumulating more votes, I would wager, than did George W. Bush in his 2004 election win over John Kerry. Hicks, it is rumored, also got more votes than did Kerry.

The final showdown between the two remaining contestants was perpetrated by the performance by each contestant of three forgettable, amateur renditions of such songs as Levon, Somewhere Over The Rainbow, and other offerrings that were borderline felony mischief. Then, the unpardonable insult to world culture occurred at the end. Both contestants sang a song that was an original song written especially for each of them. These were, if you dare to believe it, singles, which will be released upon the airwaves soon. They are meant to be hit songs, mind you, and I have no doubt they will be.

I didn’t watch the finale last night, thought I did tune in at the end to see who won. Taylor Hicks won. I don’t recall the name of the saccharrine sweet female performer he defeated. I am ashamed of myself that I remember his name.

It’s no wonder the fucking world hates us.

6 comments:

autogato said...

Come on, go on and admit it. It's the best reality show on TV. Do you know why? Because it resembles a talent show. Which means there has to be the presence of talent - unlike most of the other reality crap on TV. What kind of talent does it take to sit in a bin of snakes or eat a pig anus?

SecondComingOfBast said...

"The best reality show on tv" isn't saying much. That's like saying the common cold is the best disease, becuase you get over it quickly and it seldom kills or permanently injures anybody.

I could say it starts out good, you can have fun making fun of people who obviously have no talent, and should know better than to make asses outof themselves. But once your past that point,iroically, the show is all downhill.

autogato said...

Ick. I don't care for the beginning where people get on and make fools of themselves. To me, that is very boring. I like it best when they get down to the top 12 or so and they really try to sing their little hearts out. It shows more talent. The other is just like watching a car accident. Yuck.

SecondComingOfBast said...

What talent? When I see somebody on the level of Springsteen or Dylan, I'll be impressed. These people are more on the level of Michael Bolton or Jessica Simpson, that is if they are lucky enough to be that good. I just can't see investing precous time watching this crap, to say nothing of money to call in a vote.

autogato said...

Oh, it's free to call in and vote. Only costs if you text in your vote, I believe. I haven't followed the show in several seasons, but was an avid watcher during the Clay Aiken season. To me, the boy's got some talent - he'd make my arm hairs piloerect when he'd sing.

Watching the stuff at the beginning just seems mean, like watching some kid get picked on at the playground. Except, in this case, the kid purposefully sought at the picking. I guess everyone wants to be the next William Hung.

Wonder what THAT kid is doing these days.

SecondComingOfBast said...

Hopefully he's invested his money he's made out of this thing wisely, because I have a feeling he's run that well dry. By the way,the impossible has happenned. I have actually discovered a reality show I think I might like. Stay tuned.