Mothers Day

Mothers Day had its origins in ancient Greece, in a festival in honor of Rhea, the wife of Cronus and mother of Zeus, and his brothers and sisters. The festival continued in adapted forms throughout the days of the Roman Empire, and on down through the ages, celebrated in England as Mothering Day. It wasn't until after the Civil War that it was revived in America, where it has continued to the present day.

And so, in honor of all mothers everywhere, both human and divine-Happy Mothers Day.

Stand By Your Man

For our final post in celebration of NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK, I submit this as my nomination for theme song of the event. The song of Good Wives everywhere.

Progressive Rank-And-Defile

NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK-MAY 8TH EDITION

You know that progressive feminists aren't very secure in their femininity, or for that matter their humanity, when they can't keep from attacking even the children of their political opponents. If anybody can tell you that, its the Palins. Since Sarah was chosen as John McCain's VP running mate, she herself was attacked, mercilessly, even though she stood up to the oil companies and a crooked GOP machine in her home state of Alaska-things that would have guaranteed liberal Democrats would sing her praises if she were a Democrat. Unfortunately for her, she's a Republican. Worse, she's a devout Christian who wouldn't even consider aborting her Down's Syndrome afflicted newborn son.

But of course it didn't stop with her. Her husband has been attacked, as have her children. Bristol has especially been the recipient of progressive and Democrat loony leftist ire on a number of occasions, most recently for being one of the spokespersons for The Candies Foundation, an organization that tries to work to reduce the number of teen pregnancies.

Their problem with Bristol is that, instead of focusing on birth control, she promotes abstinence. Yep, nothing will raise a feminists, or any liberals ire like encouraging teenage girls to NOT have premarital sex.

Then they took another line of attack, when it was learned Bristol was paid a hefty salary for her work with the foundation. What they are ignoring is that Bristol's fame will raise the profile of the Candies Foundation in a way an ordinary spokesperson could never do. Why shouldn't they pay her for her time and effort?

Nevertheless, the feminists at the feminist web-site Fisting-oops, my mistake, that's Feministing-are incensed at Palin, for both preaching abstinence, and for taking a large six figure salary-but mainly for being a conservative Christian and daughter of Sarah Palin.

I think their point is that Bristol sounds elitist in her ads. Now being as these are progressives, you are kind of tempted to give them the benefit of the doubt, seeing as how they should be experts at what constitutes elitism. But let's look at this carefully and thoughtfully.

Bristol says in the ads that she came from a privileged background with many advantages that many other girls might not have, and that in such cases an unwanted pregnancy could in effect be a severe hardship.

See, that's the difference between Progressives/Liberals/Democrats-and Human Beings. If you tell the simple truth, it sounds elitist, smug, or hateful.

But when they tell a fucking lie, and screech at the top of their fucking lungs about it, and make veiled and not so veiled threats of violence, then you are any number of vile things if you disagree with them, even if you do so in a relatively civil tone of voice or writing style.

Of course, nobody would listen to a girl like Bristol Palin when she warns her peers not to make the same mistakes she did. But evidently they'll listen to some three time loser who tells them the proper way to put a condom on their boyfriend, and how to go about getting ab abortion if the condom breaks or the pill fails to work.

But, I guess that's the essence of being a "real woman" in today's feminist world. Whenever you see a gutter, don't walk away-by all means, jump right in.

A Good Woman Knows Her Place

NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK-MAY 8th SUNDAY MASS EDITION

It's official, Pope John Paul II is now officially an almost Saint. I guess that means that if you ask him to intercede on your behalf with the big guy upstairs, he'll get back to you as soon as possible. Seriously, whether you believe in the beatification of dead people or consider the Catholic process to be a "cult of Saints", it is nevertheless a nice gesture on behalf of a man who spend a large portion of his life and career as a staunch anti-communist and advocate for old-fashioned values. While contributing to no small measure to the demise of the Soviet Union and freeing Eastern Europe from the grip of communist tyranny, he never missed an opportunity to advocate against abortion and birth control. He was a fierce warrior for traditional marriage and the rightful role of women as wives, mothers, and homemakers. Not bad for an organization that is on balance progressive-which makes his stance on the role of women even more infuriating to his fellow progressives.

John Paul and his successor, Benedict XVI have made it clear the Church will never change its stand on these important issues, but will be a bulwark against the ever-encroaching culture of immorality and death.

As such, Benedict too is to be commended for deposing Bishop William Morris of Australia, for stating he would be willing to allow women to be Priests. Married men, too. Gays, even. Who does he think he is, Rowan Williams?

Look, the Catholic Church is what it is. What would it look like if a pagan used Near Beer to attune with Dionysius, and denounced the consumption of alcoholic beverages? What if someone arbitrarily decided Artemis, as a lover of animals, demanded her adherents become vegans? It wouldn't make a lot of sense, would it?

Well, then, you shouldn't expect the Catholic Church to suddenly start passing out condoms and giving pregnant teens vouchers for Planned Parenthood. And you should not, under any circumstances, expect the Church to suddenly start ordaining women for the Priesthood.

That's just not a woman's place.

Momma, Don't Let Your Daughters Grow Up To Be Dancers

NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK-MAY 7th SATURDAY KIDS SHOW EDITION

The following public service announcement from Romanian television warns of the potentially catastrophic results when women insist on competing with men in the work force to such an extent they neglect to spend the proper amount of time educating their children-especially their daughters, who need a mothers guidance. Far too many women are content to let strangers teach their daughters or, as seen here, allow their children to watch far too much television. This all too often results in young girls learning the wrong values, which can lead to dire consequences.

The onus then is on the mothers of a family. If you have young daughters, perhaps you should consider quitting your job in order to devote your time to raising them properly. Otherwise-

Sometimes Even The Best Of Husbands Just Need A Piece Of Strange

NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK-THE GOOD WIFE EDITION, FRIDAY NIGHT MAY 6th

One of the best written, acted, and directed prime time dramas on network television might be The Good Wife which, though it takes place in the modern era, in many ways portrays characters with good old fashioned values. This is especially true of the title character, Alicia Florick, wife of Peter Florick, recently elected to a new term as States Attorney of Cook County (yeah, Chicago) after serving a stint in jail on corruption charges.

He also slept around, despite being married and with two dependent children, while serving his first term as States Attorney. In fact, he paid prostitutes with taxpayer money. Putting aside for the moment that he is obviously a Democrat (and therefore such behavior is to be expected on that basis alone), I think we can agree that Peter Florick, under any reasonable criterion, can be considered a cad.

Yet, wife Alicia does not leave him. She gets a job at a prestigious Chicago law firm, yet not only does she not file for divorce, she takes Peter back in when he is released from prison, and further gives him comfort and encouragement when he decides to seek to regain his old political position.

Unfortunately, over the course of time, she discovers that he once slept with her now best friend, Kalinda. So now, as seen in the clip below, she is ready to at last call it off.



What can you say? Hoooo boy, women will be women, huh? Alicia is obviously wanting to begin a new relationship with her boss at the law firm, and is using this "news" of her husband's infidelities, with a woman she didn't even know when it happened, as an excuse.

If this show continues down this path, it will prove to be yet another example of television turning its back and thumbing its nose at good old fashioned family values.

Men need to get a strange piece of pussy every now and then. It's a part of their DNA. Its all a part of their inborn hunting instincts. No, women aren't supposed to be happy about it and just put up with it. Of course they are supposed to resist, put their foot down, and insist on fidelity. That's who they are. And its also appropriate that they should dish out punishment, but to within a reasonable extent.

But ending a marriage over something that is a matter of human nature, well that's just a bridge too far.

Write, phone, or e-mail CBS. Tell them to keep Alicia Florick a devoted "Good Wife". as an inspiration to all the other young girls and women who might also be thinking of leaving their husbands for no good reason.

Aubrey Plaza-Pregnant With My Child?

My personal goal for NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK for Friday, May 6th, 2011 is to be a responsible baby daddy. It's not going to be easy, but I have to do the right thing. The responsible thing. I have managed somehow to impregnate not just any woman, but Aubrey Plaza, star of the NBC sitcom Parks And Recreation. I met her in a bar here in Kentucky a few weeks back and took her to a motel room. After a night of wild sex, she left the following morning while I was barely half awake. I was so hungover I stumbled around for half a day trying to pull myself together, but didn't really give it much thought otherwise, until I watched P&R last night. Sure enough, she looks pregnant to me. She has that glow.

Now of course, I don't KNOW that she is pregnant, and if she is, I don't KNOW the child is mine, but if that turns out to be the case, I owe it to the child, to me, and to Aubrey, to marry the woman and be a good baby daddy. I will not run, hide, obfuscate, deny, and I will not support any ideas of aborting the child.

I didn't even recognize Aubrey when she first come in the bar. Like most celebrities, she evidently tends to disguise her appearance while out in public. Suffice it to say, when I first saw her, she looked something like this-

But after I was there for a while, I started noticing something strange about her. One beer followed another, and as I relaxed I began to see through Aubrey's clever disguise. By closing time, and my fifteenth can of Bud, she had evidently dropped all pretenses, as I sat gazing at the smiling face of Aubrey Plaza-

So as you can tell, my options are limited. I will, I must, do the right thing by her. Its just a good thing I had a lot of beer that night, otherwise I would never have known who she was. A great big thank you to Budweiser. And to those other beer brands which do their part to keep us acting honest and responsibly, as seen in the following Tuborg commercial, reproduced in yet another video I discovered courtesy of the depraved mind of Stanley Kowalski.

A Woman In Search Of A Worthy Master

NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK-THURSDAY MAY 5th EDITION

Emilie Simon wants to be somebody's dog? Frankly, I doubt this video is what Stacy McCain had in mind, but whatever else it is, it should certainly be offensive to feminists, certainly the old school variety at least.

You have to hand it to Emilie, though. It takes a woman who is secure in her own femininity to hear this old song by The Stooges, and say in effect, "hey, you know something, that song is so me, I will make it my own."

H/T-Stanley Kowalski. Somebody please shut up and get that fucker a beer.

Justified Season Finale-Bloody Harlan

If you haven't been watching Justified on the FX channel (Wednesday Night 10:00 pm) you are missing what is probably the best show on television in quite some time. Special kudos to Jeremy Davies as Dickie Bennett, and who formerly played Daniel Faraday on Lost. I was going to put two different videos from both shows that featured this actor's respective characters, just to show the range of his acting ability, but unfortunately that's impossible due to copyright problems.

But take my word for it, he's just one of a slew of fine actors that enhance a great story, plot, and production values that make you think you are smack dab in the middle of Appalachia. If you watch it for the first time tonight, you will be sorely tempted to buy the season DVD.



Well, here's a clip of Jeremy Davies as Daniel Faraday on Lost.

Coffee With Zilla

NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK-HUMPDAY EDITION

Back in the good old days, a woman knew her place, and despite feminist propaganda to the contrary, her place wasn't just in the bedroom and the kitchen. WTF, are you kidding? That woman had a whole fucking house to clean, toilets to scrub. But granted, the most important place by far was in the kitchen, where a woman fulfilled what was arguably her most important role-cooking. And nothing ranked higher in the life of her man than in making sure before he left the house to go to work, she was ready with a fresh pot of steaming hot, black coffee.

If she was lax in the performance of this vital duty-well, there could be a price to pay for that.

Nowadays, of course, women have "grown" and don't feel as though they have to fulfill a traditional wife's duties.

Fortunately, even in this modern age, there are those women who appreciate tradition, including the traditional role of a good housewife, who knows that cooking, cleaning, and otherwise being a good, devoted wife is what makes a happy home.

I want to give a shout-out therefore to Zilla Of The Resistance. Visit her blog and show her you support her stance as a strong, courageous, conservative woman and traditional wife.

Women Who Lie About Rape

NATIONAL OFFEND A FEMINIST WEEK-TUESDAY, MAY 3rd EDITION

President Obama has promised he will veto HR 3, a bill designed to deny federal funding for abortion on the grounds of any but "forcible rape". Critics of the bill stress that this would in effect change the definition of rape, which currently includes statutory rape. Of course there is more, much more, to it than that.

Also excluded would be alleged, so-called "coercive" rape, such as when women are "taken advantage of" by giving them drugs or alcohol. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that when one of them gets me so high on drugs or alcohol that they seem to look a hell of a lot better that night than they do the next morning, that would be a kind of rape as well. Poor things, they have unleashed my inner cad. It's not their fault, they just wanted another drink, and someone to talk to. Maybe some money to pay the rent. And there I go, insisting on a piece of ass.

Can you really blame them for lying and saying they were raped? I can't. But should the federal government pay for it, meaning the tax-payer? No, no, a thousand times no. That kind of thing just encourages girls to be irresponsible with their bodies, and encourages me to make damn sure the women I fuck are well into their forties.

That's all right, a few drinks and I swear, they do look like they're in their twenties. Bonus points to the ones with dentures.

In His Last Moments On Earth, Bin Laden Hid Behind A Woman

In other words, even Osama Bin Laden, at the very end, celebrated National Offend A Feminist Week.

Then again, he celebrated it every day. In fact, most Muslims, even the alleged moderates, live their lives in a way that most feminists would certainly find offensive if their acts were committed by non-Muslim Americans.

As it stands now, most American feminists will probably not feel as offended at Bin Laden's last cowardly actions at hiding behind a Muslim woman as they will feel absolute outrage that one of our soldiers killed the unfortunate woman in order to get to Bin Laden. The fact that Osama was himself armed and certainly capable of firing off rounds from behind his human female shield of choice would be as irrelevant to them as the prospect that the female shield might well have been a willing participant.

But there you have it. The 800 pound gorilla in the room is that modern American and European feminists are not offended by the actions of Muslim males towards their women folk, except in those situations where it becomes politically expedient to express such outrage.

And that, my friends, is seldom if ever.

May Day Gift-Bin Laden Dead

No links yet, no verification, that's just what I've been seeing on Twitter. If true, great. If that's not reason to extend the dance around the Maypole a few extra days I don't know what is.

UPDATE-I'm going to go ahead and call it authentic. According to Ace, it was a firefight outside a mansion in Islamabad, Pakistan, that resulted in Bin Laden dead with a bullet through the head. What's more, the US is in possession of the body.

Joy and cheers all around. Kudos to whoever got the honor of ending the worthless scums existence. May he be followed by millions, tens of millions, hundreds of millions more, if that's what it takes, until all the radical Islamist scum are eradicated from the face of the earth.

Keep Your Hands To Yourself

Yep, Happy Beltane.

What A Real Woman Should Be (Hint-Not A Shrieking, Leftist, Feminist Harpy)

National Offend A Feminist Week begins on May 2nd. What better time than Beltane to announce support against a movement that wants to twist the traditional definition of womanhood into something it was never meant to be and to turn women into shrieking harpies of leftist progressive castration fantasists.

Here is what a real woman is. This is what a woman should be proud to be, or at the very least, render deserved respect unto the women who are secure enough in their femininity to be-well, real women.

In honor of National Offend A Feminist Week, I hereby announce as my official blog policy that the phrase "Ms." is officially banned from my vocabulary. If you are a married woman, you are a "Mrs.". If you are a single woman, you are a "Miss".

And if you are a feminist, well, you are probably a "Cunt".

May Day Festivities-Don't Let The Unions Tell You Who To Support And Not To Support

Tomorrow, for May Day, labor unions are pushing for a nationwide boycott of businesses that are known to have supported Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin, going so far as to urge their supporters to go into grocery stores and place stickers on products produced by the offending companies.

Including in this attempted boycott drive are Coors Beer, Sargento Cheese, Johnsonville Brats, and Angel Soft toilet paper.

Aside from the fact that this is wrong on so many levels-and probably illegal to boot-there is something you can do if you celebrate May Day and are a conservative, a Republican, or for that matter just a decent American. Instead of sitting back and doing nothing while these companies are targeted by union thugs, you can strike back. You can go out of your way to patronize these fine companies, as I decided to do for Beltane. But don't limit your patronage to just May Day. Continue your support in the weeks and months ahead. Show the union thugs that you do not approve of them, their goals, and their tactics.

So for May Day tomorrow, enjoy a nice meal of Johnsonville Brats, washed down with some good Coors Beer, along with a nice after dinner snack of Sargento's cheese.

Then, at the end of the day, when it comes time to take a healthy shit, make sure you wipe your ass with a heaping helping of Angel Soft Toilet Paper.

We Have A Winner

Herman Caib Wins 2012 Presidential Forum In Manchester New Hampshire

So says 69% of the respondents in the poll which saw Tim Pawlenty finishing a distant second, while Mutt RomneyCare floundered and flubbered.

Although I'm still basically a Palin supporter at heart, I have to admit it would be poetic justice if the failure Barak Obama, Presidential White House Lawn Jockey of the race-baiting Democratic Party, was replaced in the Oval Office by Herman Cain, the black Republican who would go on to the be the howling success as President he has been in every other area of his commendable life and career. Not as a black President, but as an AMERICAN president who just happens to be black. You know, the way it should be.

Whatever the future holds, one thing you can be sure of-Herman Cain will be a factor, and an influence in public life and the affairs of the nation for some time to come, long after Barak Obama has retired to a private life of deserved relative obscurity.

Making Lemons Out Of Lemonade-What Else?

This has got to be one of the all time great commercials. Sure, the premise is silly. In between the time dad leaves for work in the morning and comes back home apparently that same evening, little Susie gets funding from venture capitalists for her lemonade stand business, and in the space of a few hours oversees the construction of a multi-story skyscraper for her new business headquarters. By the time poor dad makes it back home and asks where Susie is, he's asked if he has an appointment by a little boy Susie has hired as her secretary. It ends with Susie standing in front of her completed headquarters with a triumphant expression. All of this made possible because dad let her use his Verizon smart phone.

Its silly, but at the same time, its upbeat and positive, as well as funny. The look the little boy secretary gives the father when he asks if he has an appointment to see Susie is priceless.

Unfortunately, in real life, Susie would be in a world of trouble, with the FDA, the EPA, the Labor Department, and God only knows what else. And of course, by the time the fucking IRS was done with her she would wish she had just stayed in her room and played with her dolls that day.

I Want Candy

Mitt Romney Makes Serious Gaffe Against The Democratic Party's White House Lawn Jockey

Since we are now into the Beltane Sabbat, this might be an appropriate time to look to see who is for now the most likely nominee to lead the Republican Party against Obama next year. So far, there is no clear front-runner, but it could well be that there is one person we just might be able to eliminate from contention-former Massachusetts Republican Governor Mitt Romney, who says we should hang Obama with his policies.

He then backpedaled from that, insisting that he was talking metaphorically. He knew he had just stepped into deep shit, but as one wag so eloquently put it-

Mitt Romney was backpedaling after suggesting it was time to “hang” President Obama. Actually, Romney meant to say Obama’s policies were the linchpin… no wait, he should have said Obama must to be whipped into shape… that is, Americans shouldn’t be slaves to the Obama administration’s… um, or maybe Obama is a cotton-picking… oh, never mind.

As far as I'm concerned, Romney's only mistake was in referring to Obama's policies as a rope. That fucking rope would be so damn long there's no way you could hang him with it, unless you hung him from the top of the Empire State Building.