Twisted Titty Toddlers

There are certain aspects to human life that serve as valuable reminders that we are, after all, animals. Sleeping, urinating, defecating, having sex-even eating is an animalistic act. We try to pretty them up and attach rules and regulations to these things in order to spiritualize or “civilize” them. We are taught from an early age to observe the proper “table manners”, and in some cases these can be quite extravagant, from certain ways to hold silverware, to what kind of silverware to use for what dish, on down to the proper side of the plates or bowls the silverware should be placed, and even certain rules regarding posture at the table. We say grace before meals, and rules of polite conversation are also observed.

Despite all this, we engage in the same acts all animals engage in. This is why we consider bad table manners boorish, we look upon the excreting of bodily waste as “nasty”. Even expelling gases, from whichever end, we look upon as an embarrassment.

The entire cycle of human life, beginning with actual birth, on through death, consists of various acts of animal behavior. We humans pretty it up, or hide it all together. Along come the Lactivists-women who insist on engaging in the animal act of nursing their young animals in public. Other examples of such women can be found here, as well as here. It embarrasses many, who frown upon it, in reality not due to any sexual connotation, as many suppose, but deep down, we view it negatively as further potential proof that Darwin may have been right after all.

Generally, I don’t have a problem with this, but many more radical Lactivists are determined to manufacture controversy. They might insist, for example, that department store dressing rooms be available for those who would prefer to nurse their babies in private. They might even go so far as to complain to company or corporate headquarters if their requests are not granted, regardless of whether the dressing rooms are needed at the time by-oh, say, actual shoppers wanting to use them to try on clothing?

Suddenly, when they see an excuse and an opportunity to make waves, it becomes important to nurse their baby animals in private, where ordinarily they seem to delight, in some cases, in sticking their breasts out while sitting next to you on a public bus. From their general demeanor, you might not know whether they are daring you to look at them or away from them. Sometimes I wonder if they've actually decided.

They also tend to be advocates of natural childbirth, and staunchly oppose any use of pain relief. The real kicker to me, however, is the insistence by many that they should never wean their children. The child should wean itself-or, put more succinctly, let him stop on his own initiative, when he's damn good and ready, and not one second before. Therefore, you have the potential of school-age children still attached to its mother’s milk. WTF?

Earth to Lactivist mothers. If you believe in engaging in natural child-rearing, then you should get it, that weaning is as much a part of natural child-raising as breast feeding itself it. The individual mother will know when the time is right, just like any other animal will know. For an activist group to disparage a mother who decides that time is right, and now, is just more human pretension, no better or worse than looking upon sex as a “sin”, or upon belching as “impolite”.

Besides, the whole idea that all this is healthy for your little animals is a dubious proposition at best. Part of being a human animal is learning self-control and discipline. It’s hard to impart that lesson when your three year old insists on sucking on your boobs in a booth at the local Arby’s, right then and right there-and you let him. It’s hard to draw boundaries and expect your child to adhere to them when you and he act in this manner-particularly when you allow and even encourage it on up to the age of conceivably eight or nine.

Now, if you want to let your little ones suck your breast in front of me, I don’t care that much. It’s nothing I particularly care to watch, but at the same time, viewing the act itself doesn’t necessarily offend me. But if you do decide to draw the line somewhere at some point, I can pretty much promise you your little beast will be no more maladjusted by your weaning him than your average house cat.