Prince Harry, had he remained in Afghanistan, might have all but single-handedly subdued the Islamic insurgency, rendering it abjectly defeated for centuries to come. Why the royal family decided to remove him is a mystery for the ages. What danger could he possibly have been in due to Matt Drudges reporting that he has been stationed in Afganistan, on the front lines, pulling combat duty? Hell, he should have stayed there.
I can see it now. Word circulates throughout the entire radical Islamic world that Prince Harry, third in line to the British throne, is in Afghanistan, fighting on the front lines. Numbering in the millions, perhaps the tens of millions, these uncouth, illiterate, incoherent, ignorant savages converge on the place en masse.
Sure, the Brits would need to send extras forces, but what the hell-it would be like shooting morons in a barrel. All they have to do is establish a perimeter, and wait for the signs of dirty white rags mixed with your basic Taliban black. Take aim, and fire.
Imagine the words of one of our devout Islamic goat-humpers as he finishes his morning prayers, secure in the knowledge that he and his comrades will certainly be the ones God rewards by allowing them to capture the Prince for a fun weekend of torture, humiliation, and painful beheading. If he is wrong, then he will die, but that is all right. Some other worthwhile Muslim will surely prevail, and in the meantime, “God” will reward him with an eternal bevy of heavenly beauties, untouched by man.
AKHMED-I AM COMING, LORD ALLAH, TO CAPTURE THE ROYAL INFIDEL! GOD IS GREAT, AND MUHAMMED IS HIS PROPHEEE-(Gunfire interrupts his soliloquy and he falls in a hail of bullets)
AKHMED-I AM DYING HERE GOD. YOU SEE? DYING HERE! PRAISE BE TO ALLAH!
(Repeat ten million times-or hopefully ten times that much).
Royal Family-you got to learn to think outside the box.
Of course, it might not be too late. It could well be that the Islamic world might suffer a crisis of faith, having to deal with the idea that “God” somehow refused or failed to let them know of Prince Harry’s whereabouts, and otherwise with his divine grace guide them in such a way to cause the hated infidel to fall into their hands. It could well be the Islamic world might suffer a meltdown, a collective nervous breakdown, as they wonder in spiritual agony why their “God” did not deliver this victory to them.
On the other hand, maybe not. These are the same idiots who threatened an American airline company-post 9/11, mind you-with an “Islamic boycott”. Oh, the horror! Yeah, that would really show us, huh?
Fucking morons.
