RIP Anna Nicole Smith

Thanks for the pictures goes to Bellescan.nu

After Anna Nicole Smith was named Playboy Playmate of the year in 1992, she became a larger than life titaness of society, and remained so for quite some time. Then, she discovered Trim-Spa. In the roughly fifteen years of her professional life in the meantime, there was little of accomplishment to note. She tried her hand at acting, but for the most part, her major claim to fame was her gold-digging marriage to Texas oil billionnaire J. Howard Marshall, the wheelchair bound octogenarian she married in 1994, who died a year later, and who after twelve years of death probably doesn’t look much worse than he did while they were married.

Anna Nicole, who modelled herself or tried to after her idol, Marilyn Monroe, wanted a wealthy husband. Marshall wanted to purchase a beautiful trophy wife.








Their marriage was one of fate, and Marshall for once in his life got the short end of the stick. The rest became herstory.

Then came the dispute over her inheritance, which dragged on for years, and is still dragging along, through one court after another, until it ended up in the Supreme Court with the Bush Administration involving itself on the side of Anna Nichole. Although I foresaw evil tidings here, it might not actually have been anything more sinister than the influence of Pickles Bush wanting to involve Anna Nichole in some kind of adult literacy project or childrens library endowment. Who knows, maybe Anna Nicole was slated to go on tour as the author of a coffee table type book of children's stories complete with word illustrations of honey bees and bunnies. We’ll never know now.

Although it escaped public notice to a large degree, Howard Marshall’s son and main heir died unexpectedly about a year ago. Then, five months before Anna Nicole died, after giving birth to a baby girl of uncertain parentage, her son from her first marriage, (to a man with whom she had worked in her late teens at a local fast food restaurant), unexpectedly dropped dead while sitting in a lounge chair right in her hospital room.

Now Anna Nicole Smith has died and there are at least three potential claimants to the billions of dollars-err, I mean, to the daughter of Anna Nicole Smith. One of these claimants is a Hungarian Prince and the husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor (like Anna Nicole, another famous person whose main claim to fame is that she is a famous person). According to him, there are possibly thirty different men who could possibly be the father of little Danielle.

The major claimant is her lawyer since 1994, a Berkeley graduate named Howard K. Stern, who was a frequent regular on Anna Nicole's reality tv show that for a time was the top rated show on the E network. Then, there is a cameraman who looks to be about ten years at least the junior of Anna Nicole, and who claims to have loved her passionately, according to his lawyer, the former attorney for Mary Kay Laternieu.

Anna Nicole's sister has swore that Howard K. Stern will not, so long as she has anything to do with it, raise Anna Nicole's baby. No word as of yet as to whether she is working in conjunction with, or in opposiiton to, her and Anna Nicole’s mother, who claims that she should raise the child, though she seems to have been strangely in the background throughout the entirety of Anna Nicole’s public life.

The baby itself seems to have been moved from it’s home in the Bahamas, where it had been staying at the home of an official, whose house just a few nights ago was broken into. The child is now said to be living in Florida, though no one really knows for sure.

Anna Nicole Smith was like a Texas tornado, she blew into the public scene, and probably quite a few other places, and after her brief stint with Playboy, was catapulted into a degree of public fame for which she was not temperamentally or intellectually well suited. In the long run it cost her her life. She was quite bluntly, way out of her depth, a very big and tall guppy in an enclosed marina of sharks, and one old octopus.

I can’t pretend that I particularly liked her, but at the same time I can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for her, as well as for her late son, Daniel, who was also taken up on the path that lead to his own early demise. And finally, for little Danielle.

Why, oh why, do I foresee a SIDS death in somebody’s future?

Butt, whatever the future might hold, for now, this is-

THE END