Cervical Cancer-God's Gift To Good Little Christian Girls

I used to think Rick Perry, the governor of Texas, was just another political shill for the right. And, frankly, I still tend to think that, but sometimes even a shill can do the right thing. Nixon went to China, increased welfare funding beyond subsistence levels, started the EPA, and covered up the Watergate break-in. That’s three good things out of four. Of course, those three things all eventually came back to bite us worse than Watergate ever could have, but that’s beside the point, which is, his heart was in the right place and he meant well, and somebody else later on down the line was really responsible for all the fuck ups that developed from these policies, initiatives, and programs.

In Perry’s case, it’s hard to imagine how his latest executive order mandating immunization of school aged girls against the Pappoloma virus could possibly have any negative consequences, and it’s hard to imagine anyone finding fault with such a directive.

Well, if you think so you don’t know your Bible. Evidently, the good Christian folk of Texas to a large degree seem to object to what they consider an intrusion on their parental prerogatives. Damn that Rick Perry, how dare he demand they go along with this program, which might well cause their darling children to engage in sex because they feel they would not have anything to worry about once they are immunized. If they are not, more than likely the idea of having sex would never cross their mind, and if it does, and they do it, God should be allowed to punish them with cervical cancer if he deems that appropriate.

Perry had some degree of foresight in that he specified that parents of religious families could opt out of the immunization program for religious or moral reasons.

I wish somebody could diplomatically point out to the Bible thumpers that their rights to not immunize their children ends where the rights of the rest of us to protect our children from being infected by their children begins. But of course that would not be accurate, after all, our children will be protected, so their good Christian children can screw our wicked screwed up heathen children with abandon, our kids won’t get it, but their’s might. Then they can accuse all the children of sinful Americans of trying to destroy the Christian population with STD’s using our children as the delivery method.

After all, everybody knows that pagan, atheist, and children of fallen or lapsed Christians-or liberal ones-are the ones that are more inclined to get out and screw around, children of good Christian, Bible believing and God-fearing families just don’t do that sort of thing. If they do, then it is because the devil has temporarily lead them astray, using evil false Christians and two faced politicians like Rick Perry.

None of this really jives with my memories of Sunday School or Vacation Bible School, but what the hell do I know, my dad used to buy me condoms. I can remember a few good Christian girls I fucked back in those days, and quite a few others besides. One used to go up to the front of the aisle every Sunday crying her fucking eyes out. I must have missed something, I'd always heard once would pretty much do the trick.

Another one had a big crush on me, it seemed, but she was from a “good” family, and none of my family members were one of the “pillars of the community”. So you see, they could be forgiven for their temporary lapses, after all they were only human, and they had their needs, so I could be used and discarded, after all, I was a no-account non-Christian.

Because I was a boy, I had somehow taken advantage of them and their naivete. Had I been a girl and them guys, then, oh well, boys will be boys, you know, and those kinds of girls are no good anyway, all they want to do is screw any guy they can spread their legs for.

I don’t think anybody ever figured out why I was never “saved”.