Danielle, a frequent reader and commenter, recently made the point that the inordinate and continuing press coverage of the recent antics of Britney Spears is "sad". Her words, not mine. Well, ok, it's sad for those whose blogs aren't listed on Technorati, maybe, but to those of us who are, Britney Spears is the gift that never stops giving.
I see Danielle's point, though,in that the on-going nonsensical press coverage of the lives of celebrities like Britney and others of her ilk seems at best an escapist distraction from the on-going vital issues of the day. Paramount among these would of course be the continuing war in Iraq and the "war on terror".
This has got me to thinking, why not bridge the gap, cross the divide that exists between entertainment fluff news and those really important issues that do truly affect our lives? Britney can certainly play an important role here.
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, a legion of soldiers might be in the field for years at a time, maybe for as long as a decade. During the time of their stationing in such faraway places as Britain, Gaul, Palestine, Syria, Egypt, Spain, etc., it would not be uncommon for prostitutes to set up camp in the proximity of the soldiers. This was a common practice, really, much as was prostitution itself in the city of Rome. It went unremarked, unquestioned.
Of course, during the times of combat, during rebellions and long drawn out sieges, some of which lasted for one or two years or more, this usually resulted in a scarcity of sexual outlets. In the aftermath of the usual long term success of the war effort, it was the citizens of the besieged lands and cities that paid the ultimate price. Women and girls were immediately raped, a great many of the men and boys were killed (or raped), and a great lot of the population ended up as part of a victory procession known as a "triumph" conducted by the victorious generals through the streets of Rome (though this practice was later limited only to Roman emperors to discourage rebellion by disloyal and overly ambitious generals). They were generally then relegated to the status of hostage, or "guest", in the case of uper class families, and outright slaves in the case of lower classes.
In the meantime, the soldiers were also rewarded by being allowed to confiscate any amount of property they could take in the aftermath of a successful conquest,and so pilaging and looting of a subject peoples were also widespread.
Ah, those were the days. And they weren't really all that far in the past as in the case of ancient Rome. The highly cultured and civilized Japanese Empire of the last century also engaged in the practice of enforced prostitution of subject women prior to and during the days of World War II.
So there you have it, my idea as to how Britney can actually make a contribution to the war effort in such a way as to insure continued media coverage, in a positive way that would draw attention to the needs of our troops.
Fuck them, Britney. With your latest hairstyle, you'll fit right in. While you are at it, encourage some of your friends to join in the fun. Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, hell, even Angelina Jolie might not be remiss at the notion of relieving the stress our troops feel, especialy since the Republicans in Congress seem determined not to even allow them a year off of their active duty in Iraq during their terms of service, evidently no matter how long that takes.
After all, there could eventually be an explosion, due to need for an outlet, that could result in the eventual rape of thousands of Iraqi girls and women. Do you really want that on your consciences?
And you only have to do it once a year. Just all of you go to the Green Zone outside Baghdad, lay down side by side, and spread those legs. All of you together can service our troops, I know you can. And just think what it would do for morale. No longer would your patriotism be called into question, or your value as contributors to the American way of life.
Besides, you know you really want to. Deep down inside.
