Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Boring Misadventures Of Deadeye Dick Cheney

It was, said Bryan Wiliams, the anchor of NBC News, the first time a sitting Vice-President of the United States had shot someone since Aaron Burr shot and killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel a little over 200 years before. That is perhaps the most extreme example of hyperbole which has been constant since Dick Cheney accidentally shot his friend, Texas lawyer Harry Whittington, in the course of a quail hunt on a private ranch, an incident which put Whittington in a hospital in intensive care, and in time led to his sufferring a mild heart attack when one of the bird shot pellets whilch remained lodged in his body made it's way to his heart.

Here's what I don't discount about the incident, yet I don't and will not believe it until it is proven otherwise:

*Cheney was having an affair with one of the other of his hunting companions, the ambassador to Switzerland, and formerly the ambassador to Luxembourg.

*Cheney was drunk.

*Cheny deliberately witheld information from the press for an extended period of time in order to cover up one, or both, of these facts.

Following is what I tend to believe about the incident:

*Cheney's delay in reporting the incident to the press is symptomatic of his and other high administration officials reluctance to be forthcoming with the American people concerning matters both large and small.

*Cheney avoided the press possibly due to concern about his friends well-being. He feared the possible descent of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of reporters on the small hospital and the potential for interference in the duties of the doctors and other hospital staff, especially since his friends injuries, after all, may have been, so far as was known, more serious than they turned out to be. In fact, they indeed were more serious than was initially believed.

In conclusion, the following is what I know for a fact:

*A great many people secretly wish that Whittington had been killed.

*It was an accident

*It's time to move on.

I might also add that, if there is anything that can be gleaned from this incident about the Vice-President's character, it is the fact that Cheney, though seemingly an avid hunter, is no sportsman. Cheney is the type of guy that would rather sit safely and securely in his car, or in an otherwise controlled setting, and shoot his helpless prey like so many ducks-or in this case quail-in a shooting gallery. He certainly has no interest in the prospect of the hunt, or in giving his prey a fighting chance for survival.

Which leads me to my final observation

"Mr. Vice-President, I have followed your career for lo, these past five plus years now. Mr. Vice-President, I feel that I know you well. Mr. Vice-President-you're no Aaron Burr.

2 comments:

Rufus said...

I tend to think that the incident is only interesting because Cheney's unwillingness to talk to the press is just so typical of him. He did issue this statement to the press...

Cheney: "I have existed since the beginning of time and I will exist until the last star falls from the heavens. Although I have chosen the form of Chenius Calligula, I am all men, as I am no man. And, therefore, I am a god."

SecondComingOfBast said...

Don't get me wrong, I agree it is definitely an interesting story, and should have been covered, and I agree with your take on his typical reluctance to be forthcoming (though on the other point I tend to see him as more of a Tiberius to Bush's Caligula).

By the same token, don't you get the impression that a whole lot of people were secretly wishing that Whittington had been killed, deep down?

One good thing about it, it certainly gave the late night talk show comedians plenty of material, but I think by now even they have about milked it dry.