Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Countdown Factor-Olbermann versus O'Reilly

It all started in the wake of the court settlement between Bill O'Reilly, the host of Fox News Channels "The O'Reilly Factor", and a former female producer who had accussed him of sexual harrassment. O'Reilly appearred on the air, in the format of his highly rated program, to inform the viewers that what he had experienced was the worse kind of evil, and now that it had been settled, he would "never speak of it again".

Following this, his MSNBC competitor, Keith Olbermann, the host of the quirky "Countdown with Keith Olberman", had this reply, and I paraphrase-"It's not over until I say it's over".

The first volley of the war had been fired. It's been ongoing ever since.

Olbermann has no qualms about replaying episodes from Fox News, mostly O'Reillys Factor segments, when he wants to make a statement or a point. John Gibson has also been a recent target, however. In either case, he pulls no punches, nor is there any doubt as to who or what he is talking about, as he gleefully identifies his targets by name, position, and netwok affiliation.

O'Reilly is a bit more persnickety about this, or it could be a matter of Fox company policy, but whichever the case, O'Reilly has never mentioned Olbermann's name, nor the name of his program-not so much as once.

He mainly refers to MSNBC, saying that it is "out of control", that it is falling apart, and that his "competitor" (Olbermann) is a smear merchant, and that O'Reillys early morning fourth rerun (actually, the third rerun, to be technical about it), beats his (Olbermanns) first run eight o'clock showing in the ratings.

"Unbelievable", exclaims O'Reilly, who obvioulsy wants Olbermann gone from the network, if for no other reason than simple general principle.

To this, Olbermann replied a few days later on his own show, actually replaying the preceeding mentioned clip, that this was a dodge, and that it wasn't about the ratings. He never denied O'Reilly's ratings were better than his, he said, then adding that "five and a half million flies can't be wrong."

And on it goes. At various times, O'Reilly has been, according to Olbermann, the days "worse person in the world". This of course is a segment in which the three worse persons, according to Olbermann, are listed, counted down from number three on down to the absolute worse, number one. When Olberrman listed O'Reilly as that particular days worse person in the world, it was over the "Merry Christmas versus Happy Holidays" brouhaha for which John Gibson has also been targeted by Olbermann.

On another day, O'Reilly was actually named all three of the days "worse persons in the world". Another time, during a final installment of theMichael Jackson trial "Puppet Theatre",( in which newsphoto heads are superimposed on top of a popsickle stick, while a voice, obviously Olbermanns, narrates a ridiculous, suppossed utterrance of certain persons involved in the proceedings), the Michael Jackson puppet, in relief at finally being acquitted of the charges of child molestation brought against him, exclaims to fellow puppet and brother Randy Jackson, "now at last I can finally take off this mask."

Do I really have to tell you who the Michael Jackson puppet was revealed to be?

Unfortunatley, O'Reilly has been on vacation over the Chistmas season, and probably won't return until after New Years. He will probably continue to refrain speaking the name of Keith Olbermann, or the name of his show, on the grounds that his competitor shouldn't be so dignified. But I'm thinking he might have some reply to make in defense of all those five and a half million flies who are his viewers. How could he not?

In the meantime, my viewing schedule is pretty well set for eight o'clock. From here on out I watch O'Reilly, until I get my needed bitch fix. Once the fly remark, and all it's attendant implications, are addressed, naturally I will turn back over to Olbermann. I'm sure he won't dissapoint.

It's more fun than professional wrestling. And it's for real.


Hoot Gibson said...

Let me guess Lance, like Keith, you like the taste of soft dick....?

The Pagan Temple said...

Hell no, Hoot Gibson, I'm not gay. How in the hell do you guys stand that? I've had girls that's sucked my dick tell me the taste of cum is awful. And then you guys want to fuck each other in the ass, and then such your own cum out of each others asses.

No, sorry, Hoot Gibson, you keep that sick shit for yourself. I'm a straight pagan. I love me some pussy.