The "Root" Of All Evil?

Ted Haggard was an evangelical Christian of some reknown. The Senior Pastor of New Life Church, the President of The National Association of Evangelicals, and Founder of the Association of Life Giving Churches, this Oral Roberts University Graduate has been a major influence in Republican party politics, responsible for a great lot of the evangelical vote which went to Bush in the 2004 election. He is said to be a staunch supporter and advisor to the President. In fact, you might say that no Christian leader has had more influence with an American President since the days of Calvin Coolidge and John Stevenson-a former Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

Now of course, the good Reverend Haggard has felt it incumbent upon himself to resign his position according to the by-laws of his church, as his credibility has now been called into question. It seems that a certain Mike Jones, an admitted gay male prostitute, has alleged a homosexual relationship with Haggard, over the course of a three year period, which continued on a regular basis about once a month or so. Drugs were also involved- methamphetamines, to be exact.

Haggard has admitted to this, though he insists that he threw the drugs away after acquiring them. He also insists that he did not have sex with that gay male prostitute-Mr. Jones-though he did in fact enjoy the services of a massage from the nimble and practiced fingers of the man who knew the good Reverend as "Art".

The trouble between the two seems to have been over the Reverends stated political oppossition to gay marriage, which is a state initiative on the ballot in Colorado this year. Mr. Jones considers the Reverends position to be the utmost in hypocrisy, doubtless considering the various other "positions" the Reverend has engaged in with Mr. Jones.

It would seem that Mr. Haggard does not take the Bible so literally as he once insisted to Richard Dawkins it should be taken in the latters documentary "The Root Of All Evil", in which Haggard excoriated Dawkins for referring to his children as "animals" (presumably due to Hawkins stated belief in evolution). If he did take it that literally, after all, would he-wellll, lie?

But to be fair, Mr. Haggard has done the right thing, in resigning his position. And in the spirit of understanding, I want to offer the good Reverend a chance at true happiness, in a religion I might go so far as to suggest would be actually more to his inclination, in the worship of a god that would be far more suited to fit his needs.



I am speaking here, of course, about the great god Priapus. Born of a torrid affair between Dionysius and Aphrodite, Priapus was cursed in the womb by Hera, who was disgusted at the adulterous relationship of his parents. And so, when he was born, he was short, fat, bald, and ugly as sin. And, to top it off, he was given a remarkably huge penis which was perpetually erect.

He had a small cult following in ancient Greece, consisting of temples which offerred healing in the form of sleep therapy. And so, men from all over Greece, when returning home would meet their wives anxous querries as to their time away with the response, "oh, I just rested, dear"

To which we might well now owe the origin of the oft repeated refrain, "well, let me sleep on it".

He was more widely popular in Rome, where he was considered the god of home gardens and domesticated animals. He was widely venerated in Pompeii and Herculaneum as a fertility god, where artwork has been discovered of the god, known for his pecuiar physical atributes.

Of course, he is worshipped still among pagans in the same ways he was worshipped in ancient Greece and Rome, but there is now a new modern twist to his worship among some specific cults, and it is these cults in partiucular where I feel the good Reverend Haggard might feel at home.

He might want to start his new initial studies here. But I have an idea that he might quickly find himself spending an even greater amount of time here at the Temple Of Cock, where he will doubtless find a great deal of spiritual inspiration.

In fact, he might find that his particular talents as a counselor and minister might be greatly appreciated here, where he can now practice them in concert with his other recently discovered gifts. He can now become whole. So you see, that old saying is true. There is a silver lining in every gray cloud.

Of course, it could just be a cum stain.

Visit From A Halloween Monster

ATTENTION GOOD PEOPLE OF CALIFORIA:

IF YOU VOTE FOR ME AS A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA I PROMISE TO PERSONALLY FUCK YOU IN THE ASS REAL HARD!

If I keep this post to the top of this blog for the next five days, mail a few thousand such announcements to random households in California, and make a few thousand similar calls to citizens of California-men and women-there's a pretty good chance the next election for the governorship of Califoria will end the following way-

First Place-Governor Arnold Swarzeneggar (Republican)

Second Place-Patrick Kelley (Write In Candidate)

Third Place-Phil Angelides (Democrat)

So what exactly did the unbelievably stupid John Kerry think he was going to accomplish to begin with by campaigning for Angelides, a man with as much hope of winning the governorship as Osama Bin Laden has of receiving the Nobel Peace Prize?

More to the point, why did he make the unbelievably idiotic statement at a campaign appearrance for Angelides at a California school to the effect that if you worked hard in school and did well you would not have to worry about being stuck in Iraq?

I think he did the shit on purpose, to tell you the truth. Why? Well, take a look at the people that stand a good chance of being elected to the Senate this year. Most of the Democrats who have a chance to win these races are moderates. Take for example Bob Casey, the Democratic candidate from Pensylvania, some ten points ahead in a race to unseat incumbent Republican Rick Santorum.

Look at Harold Ford Jr. , another moderate who early in his campaign publicly and harshly criticized DNC Chairman Howard Dean for remarks which Ford claimed would drive a wedge between Democrats and the great mass of moderate voters whose support is essential in the winning of most elections, and certainly in national elections.

And there are other moderates, in such places as Montana and Virginia, moderates who are still liberal, or at least left of center, who have a good chance of unseating conservative Republican incumbents. Or they did, until maybe the last couple of days.

Unfortunately, the more liberal Democratic candidates will be less likely to be hurt by Kerrys remarks than such candidates as Casey and Ford and other such more moderate Democrats, who are running in areas where the voters are far more likely to tar them with the association with the likes of Kerry.

That's why I consider Kerry's remarks very suspicous. After all, the potential of a number of moderate Democratic Senators is a threat to more leftist leaning Democrats such as Kerry. They have the potential of moving the party more to the center. If that were to happen, the Democratic Party would become much more competitive nationally, but this would not be a good thing for the likes of Kerry. He would either have to be content to remain a backbencher with little power and influence when it comes to committee assingments, for example, or backing for another potential run for national office , or greater influence on party positions-or, he would have to himself moderate his position, and so look like just another opportunistic two faced politician, which of course we all pretty much know that already.

A large Democratic victory in this years Senate races based on the strength of more moderate candidates would be the death knell for the Kerrys of the party, and I think he just did his part to derail that potentiality. Of course, one good thing is, he has pretty much destroyed whatever slim chance he might have had to be the party's standard bearer in '08, which leaves me to believe that somebody has called in some markers and Kerry has sacrificed his chances in return for something.

Possibly the promise of some future lobbyist position with some liberal PAC, a position which would not be worth much if the party were moved toward the center.

I think a Casey victory in Pennsylvania scares Pro-Choice activists. It's one thing for Santorum to be Pro-Life. It's something all together different for Casey, who is also Pro-Life, to have an influence in the Democratic party, as a Senator. And the same goes for the other moderate Democratic candidates. This is more than just another off-year election. This is a war for control of the soul of the Democratic Party. And those old dinosaurs aren't going to go out without a fight.

Thanks to Liveshot for the picture.

Letter From A Soldier

I recently ran across this post on Truthdig.com, which contains a letter recently written by Keen Tillman, the brother of the late former pro-fotball player for the Arizona Cardinals Pat Tillman. As many of you doubtless are aware, Pat Tillman, in the aftermath of 9/11, gave up a million dollar contract with the Cardinals to become a soldier, asking for no special favors, only for the privilege of serving his country to the best of his ability, along with the hundreds of thousands of other American soldiers who wear the uniform.

Unfortunately, Tillman lost his life in Afghanistan as the result of a friendly fire incident which was for a short time inexcusably concealed by the top military brass. His brother Kevin, who joined with him and served also until later discharged early last year, has written this letter.

I don't agree with all the particulars of the letter. However, I do agree with a good part of it, and with the general spirit that it seeks to convey. Most importantly, regardless of whether I agree with any of it or not, he has won the right to be heard, and so I present the link to this letter. It is a scathing indictment of the current administrations policies. If anybody has earned the respect and the right to criticize this admiistration, it is cetainly Mr. Tillman.

Thanks to Living It Up In Lincoln County for providing the link.

Samhain

Jason, over at The WIld Hunt Blog, has a good post up about the reactions of some Christian groups to the pagan traditions of Samhain as seen now in the modern holiday of Halloween, in a post he calls De-Paganizing Halloween (Again).

It would be a good idea to take a look at the fairly recent past history of Halloween in order to understand this phenomenon. The truth of the matter is, Halloween has been celebrated for quite some time in this country. In fact, a couple of my ancestors got married on Halloween-no lie-in the 1850's. Of course, I don't know if that was coincidental or not.

But the main thing to remember is, it has long been a traditional night of hi-jinks, hooliganism, and in some cases all out bedlam.

Any person who ever lived in more rural areas has doubtless heard the stories, if not lived through the times, of the old outhouse, before the days of indoor plumbing. On Haloween night, no more than four decades ago, and longer, in some cases, it was common for gangs of roughnecks to, just for fun, dislodge a persons outhouse from it's resting place. Not so hard to do when you consider they were never buildt on a foundation, they were in fact little more than a wooden frame building with one or two commode seats over what amounted to holes in the ground.

Other types of fun included soaping house windows and egging windows and cars. This kind of "trick" was mostly reserved for those tightwads who failed to come through with the requisite "treat".

Other things were more serious in nature. A not all that uncommon event would be the felling of a large tree across a road, which would then be set on fire. When a driver approached to find the way of his car blocked, another fire would be set with kerosene that had been strategically spread across the road in a line.

A personal favorite of mine was the old "cow shit in a paper bag" routine. Once you deposited the bag on a persons porch, you set it on fire and knocked loudly on the door. Once the person opened, he or she almost invariably stomped out the fire, ending up with cow or dog shit all over his shoes.

In time, it got more serious in nature. And more dangerous. By the 1960's and on into the 1970's, people had started in some areas to dole out tricks of their own to the Halloween visitors, most if not all of whom were small children.

Poisoned candy and razor blades stuck into apples became a kind of Halloween fad amongst the disturbed minds of the day, and this resulted in quite a few illnesses and injuries, and possibly a small number of deaths. Nor was this limited to one or two isolated areas and years, but seemed to be a growing and very disturbing trend.

As such, it became necessary in time to regulate the hours of Halloween, and in most areas there is an unwritten rule more or less that the tradition of trick-or-treating should be limited to the very young, usually up to the age of twelve.

It wasn't up until the last two decades ago, or three, that Hallween came to viewed by Americans as a pagan holiday, which in fact originaly it was. Most pagans assert that it was the Celtic New Year, and modern pagans think of it in this way as well, as the Modern Pagan new Year. (Personally, I prefer Yule as the Pagan New Year, but hey-that's just me).

At any rate, a good many Christians view Halloween as a time of evil spirits and devil worshippers, and so they jump on the Wiccans and Pagans celebration of the day as a kind of evidence that we are all in leaque with the demonic forces of darkness and death, which is of course absurd.

But to this end, they have, as Jason suggests, taken to the attempt at co-opting the holiday as a means of protecting the innocent youth of America from corruption by the occult forces which they see as prevalent through the holiday.

What they seem to have missed is that in the entire history of the mischief, and yes, evil, that has been perpetrated on the holiday, the vast majorityof the perpetrators were of Christian heritage. Note that I am careful here not to say they were all actualy Chrisitans, though a good many of them may well have been.

Certainly, the notion of the evil black cat, which is a Chrisitan tradition, has lead to the torture and/or murder of many innocent felines, not all of whom were necessarily black.

What it all boils down to is the simple fact that Halloween wasn't really hi-jacked by Christians. Nor was it used by Wiccans, Pagan, Satanist, otc, as an excuse to do most of the mischief and evil I have described. Even the incidents of the abuse of animals, while based on an old Chrisitan belief from the Midle Ages, I would not lay on the doorstep of a true Chjristian. I would guess it's more likely a small number of assholes that just want to hurt something that can't do anything to protect itself.

And there you have it. Halloween, like so many other holidays and traditions, has frankly just been hi-jacked by assholes. By creeps.

It's actually a fine religous tradition of honoring and respecting the dead, and of taking stock in your life and doing a kind of spiritual inventory of all those negative aspects of your life that you need to discard, in preparation for the coming New Year. After all, it is the "last harvest", that time of year when the sun has started to dim to it's weakest point, before it once again waxes stronger beginning on Yule.

From this day forward, the days get ever shorter, the nights ever longer, and colder, as the earth rests from it's toil in order to reinvigorate itself for the next planting season, when it too shall be "reborn".

Therefore, take this time to celebrate. Dress up, visit your friends and family, and party down. Take the time to take that inventory of your life. If some little ones come to your door, give them a little something to contribute to a hopefully pleasurable memory of the occassion of this holiday.

But, be careful. Take especial care for your animals. Especially your cats. Like I said, assholes abound on this night. And take care for your children, and your selves. There will always be assholes, but whether you are Pagan or Christian, you have a right to celebrate this night according to your traditions . Don't let the assholes hijack it any more.

Malawi-Truth Or Dare

Well I was all set to slam all the different Human Rights Organizations in the world, except I don't know exactly who I'm slamming here, but it seems to be something called The Human Rights Consultative Committee, which on it's web-site bills itself as more or less an umbrella organization for at least 40 different human rights groups. According to another source, it is more like sixty. And, they seem to be mostly, maybe all, Malawi based groups, made up of religous leaders, teachers, womens and childrens groups, etc. Who knows who is involved in this group? You would think they do, but if so, they are saying as little as possible.

Their problem with Madonna seems to be pretty straight forward. If you want to adopt a Malawi child, then you have to follow a certain proceedure. You have to stay in the country and establish a documented relationship with the child, and this must be on-going for a period of between eighteen months and two years.

Yeah, let's do that. I can't wait to go to a country on a continent that scares the living shit out of me just reading about it and living for two years surrounded by people that live in huts that make less than a dollar a year on average. Hell, who would worry about kidnapping, rape, murder, mutilation, starvation, famine, pestilence, in a country that is one of the most populated in all Africa, and where as a white person I'll stand out like a sore thumb? Why should I care, after all, the country isn't at war yet. Now if I'm a big enough person to do that, what makes that prissy Madonna think she's too good, right?

After all, she's only started an orphanage for displaced children, with a special emphasis on AIDS victims, and has generously contributed to five other pre-existing orphanages in this, one of the poorest, most destitute countries in the world, according to this Wikkipedia article.

The child Davids father, Yohane Banda, by all accounts seems to be in favor of the adoption, and is incensed that the human rights group mentioned is standing in the way. Of course, some of his relatives are not so happy about it, and are saying Banda is illiterrate, and doesn't understand the consequences of adoption.

This is all a lot of rubbish, and I propose the following explanations.

One, that the family doesn't like or appreciate Madonna's celebrity lifestyle, which they as devout Christians consider hedonistic and amoral.

Two, they want to dig a little deeper into the pop stars bank account.

Three, they, or somebody else connected to the human rights group, are wanting to somehow end this adoption in the vain hopes they can parlay this into a later adoption of somebody close to them, say for example, one of their own family members.

Four, they are wanting to draw this out to gain continued publicity for Malawi and for their cause. In the last case, this would be limited to the human rights group in question.

In that case of number four, however, it seems odd they rarely update their web-site, in fact I think they have done so maybe twice this year, the last time in August. Plus, no mention on it whatsoever of the recent Madonna controversy, which I find remarkably strange.

I tend to think it's all about the money, or some other perceived potential benefit, but I could be wrong. Whatever the reason, the child is the one who stands to suffer for their actions.

Strangely, the UN angel Angelina Jolie didn't have to go through anything remotely like this. I guess it helps to bribe-I mean, have all the right connections.

Race To The Bottom

One of the most important Senate races this year will be the one in Tennessee between Congressman Harold Ford, Democrat, and Republican Bob Corker, Republican. This in fact could well be the race that decides which side controls the Senate. As such, the RNCC is pulling out all stops to win this one, which is for now too close to call in the polls. They may have went way over the line. Unfortunately, that tactic might well work.

In this website, FancyFord, where the Congressman is pretty much made out to be an uppitty negro living high on the hog off of his campaign contributions, the tactic is all too clear, as is the recent campaign ad featured on YouTube. It can be summed up as follows-

If you elect Harold Ford Jr, to the Senate, he will fuck every good looking white girl in Tennessee. Or he will try to, at least. Of course, they don't come right out and say that, but the subliminal message being relayed here is pretty obvious. Harold Ford is a young, virile and well connected negro from a political family with some past ethical problems, he is unmarried, and he has a thing for-gasp-white women.

He has even in the past been connected to former Georgetown University sex columnist for The Hoya, Laurie Baugher. Apparently, Ford ended the relationship after it appearred in danger of becomming public knowledge and suppossedly didn't even bother to call the poor damsel to inform him of his intentions to end the relationship.

Of course, it could also be because he found out the hard way that Laurie Baugher is a fucking whackjob whose weekly columns for The Hoya were edited in fact by her mother, and who was acussed in September '03 by another Hoya columnist, Cara Tarone, of being more adept at self-promotion than at any kind of actual sexual expertise.

On one occassion, Baugher tried to get out of paying for a seven dollar grapefruit at a Washington restaurant by claiming to be with a party for the Washington Post, a claim which she was caught and called on.

Fords relationship with Baugher goes back to her days as a sophomore at the college, and she was reported to have made the statement that she never understood what Ford had seen in her to begin with. It is tempting to wonder if she has not been brought into this campaign at the urgings of the RNCC on the grounds that it might well jumpstart her writing career, which seems to have ended with her graduation from Georgetwon.

Whatever the case, it might well work. And that's a shame. Harold Ford Jr. is one of the few Democrats in Congress I actually feel good about. Hell, he's one of the few Congress people in Congress I have good feelings about. I think he has the potential to be a future President, possibly the first black President of the United States, as I think Barak O'Bama is a flash-in-the-pan. All image, little if any substance, as of now.

Ford I can see making it, maybe not for a few years, maybe not until about 2016, after a ten year career in the Senate. Or, if he looses this race, after a full two terms as governor of Tennessee.

He may have made one slight mistake in crashing a recent Corker press conference in response to the Republican ads. Then again, maybe not. It may be seen as indication of a fiery temperament, one who will fight back when wronged. Or, it may be seen as juveile, out of control petulance. And, it might be seen as another example of an "uppitty black" who doesn't "know his place".

Personally, I almost wish he would fuck Corkers wife, or his daughter if he has one. Yeah, let 'em put that on their shitty little web-sites, and YouTube.

Personal aside to Laurie Baugher, presumably the front and center nut job pictured above-if Ford looses this race, your main footnote to fame may well not be your writing ability, so much as your impact on Tennessean voters perceptions of you as a "nigger lover".

Sting-The Highland Lout

Old rock stars never die, as long as there is classic rock radio, anyway, but they sure as fuck do get boring and pretentous as hell. Well, what the shit can you expect from a guy that goes by a moniker like "Sting"?

The former front man for the late seventies and eighties rock band "The Police" (when Sting had something to say that was fucking worth listening to), has recently said he finds rock music of today boring.

I would suggest there are three main reasons for that. One, the recording company executives put more emphasis on flash and style, and sex appeal, than they do actual creative substance. Two, there are a disproportionate number of fans that prefer the kind of pablum that results from this in comparison to fans that actually have taste.

Then, there is number three, a most overlooked factor. The artists themselves are boring. After all, art is suppossed to be a reflection, more or less, of the society that produces it. That's why rap music tends to be so creative, the better rap artists are themselves creative, talented, driven, and far from boring.

Ergo, the better heavy metal. True, there are pretentous, superficial aspects of these and in fact all genres of music. But, there are the true gems. It just so hapens that when it comes to more traditional hard rock, or rock and roll, you don't have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get to the atrocous. It's more like a pond, one that seemingly holds promise, but the scum rises to the top and eventually chokes the life out of anything worthwhile.

The only thing left is the bottom feeders that live off the rot of the decay. In a way, they do it well. They are survivors, and they seem to be getting not better, but bitter.

But enough of this tangent. Here's an even better comparison. Have you ever happenned across some old coot, sitting on his front porch waving at the passers-by, drooling on his shirt, looking at turns, angry, forlorn, or amused? If you engage him in conversation, you will find that he has little to say that is relevant about the modern era. If he tries, as often as not he is way off the mark. And I'm not meaning this as a slam at old people either, I'm talking about a particular kind of old person, one that simply has no respect, tolerance, or undertanding of the world as it is today, in any of it's aspects. He only knows he don't like it too good. He makes that all too clear. It makes no sense to him. Therefore, what he says about it will make little sense as well.

But, get him going down memory lane, and it can be an interesting experience. You can learn a lot from the old coot. The problem is, those days are gone, ain't ever coming back, and the old coot just can't deal with it. After a while, listening to him gets old, and even looses what original historical value it may have had, if any.

You see, peoples memories with age tend to get faulty, and they seem to dwell overly on either the good or the bad. There is seldom any balance in their attitudes. That is because people who have a balanced perspective tend not to dwell so much on the past. Which in a way is a shame, becasue you could learn more of actual value from them than you ever could from the typical "old coot".

And so it is with Sting. One of the few exceptions to this rule was John Lennon, and even he temporarily fell into the trap of musical reminiscing about the past and the so-called glory days. They all do it.

"Oh, when we were young and had all these fans and the world at our fingertips, and people hung on our every words, and chased us down the streets and tried to rip our clothes, and we had all these groupies who followed us from concert to concert, and we had all these wild parties, drinking, drugs, and sex, and we tore up all these hotel rooms.

"But we're older now and we see the world differently now, and now we wish that we-"

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL FUCKING READY!!!!! WHO GIVES A FUCK??!!!!

Create something relevant, already. Sing about shit that people want to hear about, because it speaks to their inner thoughts and feelings. Who the fuck do you think can relate to your past experiences? Just what is the percentage of the worlds populations that travelled the country and stayed at first class motels, performed before tens of thousands of people at once, and engaged in drunken, drug saturated orgies on a regular basis?

That's the first problem with the aging rock star. He's so pretenous, so full of his own self-importance, he thinks that his intropective reflections on his own life are interesting. And they might well be, for one fucking song. Not, however, for a full fucking CD of them. Or two, or three.

Number two: Nobody gives a rats ass what you think about politics, or about world issues. So shut the fuck up about it. You're not Ghandhi. You're not Chruchill. You're a fucking entertainer. You're views about the dangers of nuclear energy are based on what you believe based on the very limited perspective of the crowd you play to. They are no better than my views, in fact, they're probably not as good. When I hear you run off at the mouth like the expert you are not, you make me want to vote Republican. Go smoke a fucking joint, then drop some acid, and then cut your tonque out.

Finally, here's number three, which might be the most offensive of all. What is it with the fucking strings and orchestras? What in the holy name of fuck do you think you're doing? Why in the hell are you constantly driving up the price of your music by adding in between fifty and two hundred professional violinists, cellist, trombonists, clarinetists, and scores of others, all under the direction of a conductor? How in the hell does this qualify as "rock" music. Who wants to listen to this syrupy shit?

Okay, then, let's talk about the good old days? Remember when you were in a group, and you wrote your own songs, and there were like five of you total, a couple of guitar players, a bass player, a drummer, and a guy on keyboards, maybe every now and then one or two of you doubled on other instruments, and rarely, rarely, for a change of pace, you added orchestra music?

Yeah, those were the good old days, weren't they? Fuck you.

Making Good Things "Better"

Somebody somewhere is always wanting to fuck with a good thing. Always wanting to make something better, when there was never anything wrong with it to begin with. Football is the best example I can think of.

When they started the Instant Replay years back, people bitched and moaned about what is probably the one example of an improvement that I can think of. So they dropped it for awhile, but within a year or two it was brought back. Now, I like this one concept, for the simple fact it rules out the potential for human error,and more importantly, the possibility of corruption.

An ump on the field makes a bad call, or the team that is on the receiving end of the call thinks it is anyway, and so they demand a review. If the play stands, then the team that initiates the review is charged with a timeout. As timeouts can be vital, this has the effect of discouraging frivolous challenges. If, however, the play is overturned, the team is not charged, as well they should not be.

Like I said, this is an example of a good excpetion to the changes that have been made over the years.

However, there is one in particular that makes me want to scream. And, sometimes, I do. Today, in fact, I nearly did, when my Bengals fell behind the oppossing Carolina Panthers, who scored a touchdown that should never have been called. But ah, those rule changes again.

You see, the Panther team player in question, a receiver whose name I can not remember, caught the ball, and was brought down just outside the end zone, but in the process of going down, strethed out his arms and just barely, barely touched the football to the barest edge of the line that marks the end zone, while the players knees went down clearly outisde the end zone, as did the rest of him. The touchdown was challenged by the Bengals manager, to no avail. They were charged with a timeout, and the touchdown ruled on the field stood. Fuck instant replay.

But no, not really. Because, actually, technically, the call was a correct one. The player barely did touch the football to the barest edge of the end zone line before his knees hit the ground, which was the only thing really in question.

So what was the reason for this? Well, somewhere along the way during a bad ratings year, somebody came up with the bright idea that more people would watch football more if there was more scoring, higher scores. And so, this new and to me ignorant rule was instituted.

Look, football was never meant to be a high scoring game. The best football games of years past had amazingly low scores. 3-0. 7-6. 10-7. As far as I'm concerned anytime both teams scores more than twenty points in a game, what you are watching is two teams engaging in an offensive race, in a game the high scores of which is not necessarrilly an accurate reflection of the skill and ability of their offenses so much as it is a pretty sure bet that both teams have shitty fucking defensive squads.

Well, the Bengals went on to win this game 17-14, so they are now at 3-2. They are even better this year than they were last year. With the exception of their last game, they haven't had near as many penalties on average per game. Plus, despite the fact that some of the more seasoned players on the offensive line are out with injuries, the second stringers came through nicely in the second half, after an uncertain and nerve-wracking first half.

One Bengal committed a penalty in the second half. A face mask, a most obviously stupid penalty which I almost believe should be punished by chopping off the hands. It was a fifteen yard first down advance for Carolina in the last four minutes of the game, putting them in positon to either tie the game and send it into overtime, or win it. Luckily, a Bengals corner back, I think, intercepted the Panthers quarterbacks pass in the end zone. Game fucking over.

But, like I said, save for this ignorant rule change, it shouldn't have even been this close.

Don't Be Cruel

Ain't that what the King once advised? Well, so be it. In his honor, I will not name the subject of this post. If he happens across it, he will know who he is. So will anybody else that has been to his blog over the last couple of days. The fact that I'm about to talk bad about him-but at the same time, not mention his name, or his blog, save the fact that it is on the blogroll-will be suitable enough punishment.

Some people have a bad habit of letting tHeir egos get the better of them. They get their heads way up in the air, and then they trip over themselves. They ought to know better to walk with their feet in their mouths, for one thing.

Okay, here's the deal. You are a fucking blogger. You are not mother fucking Theresa. If you are a fucking good little boy, and keep doing what you do best, one of these days you might fucking win a fucking bloggy award. You will fucking not fucking win a fucking Peabody or a fucking Nobel or a fucking Pulitzer. They fucking don't fucking give those fucking kinds of fucking prizes for a fucking blog or the fucking bloggers that fucking BLOG them.

Now here's the fucking deal. You have a fucking good blog and you provide a fucking voice to the fucking people who fucking read it who fucking might be fucking frustrated. And you fucking do it fucking brilliantly.

Otherwise nobody fucking gives a fucking rats fucking ass about your fucking opinions which when you fucking strip it down to fucking basics ain't no fucking better than my fucking opinion it's just a fucking other fucking opinion.

So now you are fucking going to fucking go to fucking colege to fucking be a fucking journalist and fucking learn to be fucking objective. So to that fucking end you are fucking planning on fucking deleting your fucking blog and fucking starting another one, which I have fucking read. Yes, I fucking clicked on the fucking link to your new fucking blog and I fucking read it and I can fucking sum up my fucking opinions in this fucking way.

FUCKING BORING!!!!

You're fucking going to be a fucking serious journalist and fucking so you are going to fucking stop fucking saying fucking on your fucking blog?

BULLFUCKING SHIT!!!! Here's the fucking truth. Your fucking head is in the fucking clouds ecuase you've fucking suddenly attracted a fucking bunch of fucking new readers but one of the fucking Christians was fucking complaining about your fucking lanquage and it is fucking getting you fucking down and so you are fucking caving in.

Or maybe she fucking sent you a fucking picture and you are fucking hoping to fucking hit that fucking ass. See, you fucking just fucking can't get fucking away fucking from fucking fucking.

Come back down to fucking earth soldier. Okay, you have fucking sacrificed for your fucking country and you fucking deserve our fucking thanks. So, fucking thanks. But it's only fucking good for so fucking much. One fucking thing it fucking doesn't give you the fucking right to fucking do is fucking bore us to fucking tears.

Okay, I've fucking said my fucking piece. In fucking cnclusion, I will fucking direct you to this fucking link by Maddox. Every fucking blogger in the fucking world should be fucking required to read this article at least once a fucking year, including me.

And by fucking god, my fucking friend, you fucking need to read it this fucking miute.

A Sun And Mars Conjunction-The Last Days Of Ramadan

This post is already making me feel like a cross between Chicken Little and the boy who cried wolf, especially since I have posted on this subject, or a variant thereof, several times, notably in this post from October of last year. Seeing as how this then will be an anniversary post of sorts, it seems appropriate to do it again, whether anyone takes it seriously or not.

But consider, the last day of Ramadan is October 23rd. Add to that the fact that the Sun and Mars will be in conjunction the entirety of the weekend from the 21st through the 23rd. To put the icing on the cake, bear in mind the numerous rumours to the effect that there may be a terrorist attack on our soil sometime before the end of Ramadan.

Don't yawn too quickly. It so happens that if you are watching any one of the numerous pro-football games that are scheduld for Sunday the 22nd, the posibility that one of them may be subjected to a sudden dirty bomb assault is frightening enough, and I admit unlikely. Homeland Security has advised that they feel there is no substance to the suppossed threats.

And true to form,the ACLU has filed suits to prevent what it obviously considers to be unreasonable searches and seizures of sports patrons to ward off such an event.

Me, I don't think it's likely. Why waste time on football games when there are so many other places that are unguarded, and unsuspecting.

And yeah, I know the other times I posted about this, it didn't pan out. But remember, the idea that Al-Queda might use astrological aspects in order to coordinate attacks that had been planned months, or even years, in advance, is no guarantee of their success, any more than the more typical and traditional synchronization of watches would be.

It's not so much an occult magical working as it is a mere timing device, based on an Arabian science of long standing tradition. Astrology, to be exact, which among many early Arab and Muslim civilizations was held in as high esteem as was medicine, mathematics, astronomy, etc.

And again, it will be during the last two days or so of Ramadan.

The Korean Riddle

What do you call dogs and cats in Korea?

Before I answer that, I have to say, a lot of people seem concerned about the news coming out of North Korea. When I heard that even The History Channel was doing a series about the country, my initial reaction was to wonder who reported spotting a UFO fying over Pyongyang, seeing as how Kim Jung Il was doubtless way too young to have been on the grassy knoll.

Still, it is an important story, the idea that North Korea has been, and promises to continue, nuclear testing. Evidently, the last test, though a dud, was an actual attempt, involving processed plutonium.

The thing to remembr here is that this is a story that by rights should be of far greater concern to the other nations involved in the so-called six-nation talks, than the US. After all, China and Russia share a border with North Korea, as does South Korea, with whom the country is technically still at war, despite a fifty plus year cease fire overseen by some fifteen thousand US soldiers along the North-South border.

Japan, as well, which lies not too far off the coast of Korea, has reasons to be concerned, especially in that Japans conquest and rule of Korea, from about 1910 until the end of World War II, is a definite sticking point in relations between the two nations.

True, given North Koreas past record of success, or lack thereof, in the matter of it's recent tests, it seems unlikely that Bin Laden or the Chechen rebels are beating a path to their door in order to dicker for the acquisition of their weapons. Still, they are still determined, and have let it be known they consider the recent UN anctions against their country tantamount to a declaration of war.

So what exactly is it they want from the US? Why are they so determined to engage in bi-lateral talks with Washington? They claim to want all sanctions against them lifted, and of course they demand security guarantees. Obviously, this is all a lot of rubbish. They would have no need of bilateral negotiations for that. What they are after is what they have been after since the end of World War II, when Russia occuppied the North, and the US occuppied the South, resulting in a controlled experiment in the contest of communism versus capitalism.

They want reunification. They want a return to the days when Korea was one country, in fact, one of the oldest nations on the face of the earth, with the original capitol of the nation situated in Pyongyang.

Easy to see why. Without the Souths far more fertile agricultural base and greater natural resources all around, the North without the South can never be more than, at best, a second rate little backwater country dependent on aid and handouts from China, or Russia, or whoever they can get them from.

Nautrally, concurrent with that concern is the determination that the communist government of North Korea remain in power over the country as a whole, possibly and even probably with guarantees of a level of autonomy for the South and an allowance for capital investment and private property and ownership rights.

The way it stands now, the northen half of the country that may have been the first nation on the earth to utilize armored ships, fought successfuly for centuries against the Chinese, Japanese, and Mongols, and exported Bhuddhism and other innovations and cultural advancements to Japan, is, due to the divided nature of the country, standing at deaths door. The country with the fifth largest military in the world is so destitute, their people are becomming smaller as an adaptation to lack of sustenance.

About the only thing they have going for them is, they have no problems with obesity and it's related diseases. Nor do they have much concern with overpopulation of stray animals. Which brings me back to the subject of my original riddle.

Livestock.

A Belated Anniversary Reflection

If I ever get married, I have a good excuse for not remembering birthdays and anniversaries. Hell, I can't even remember my own. When June 12th rolled around, I had completely forgotten that I had in fact had this blog for a full year. Worse, I had planned on marking the occassion, but circumstances ended up seeing the day come by, go, and completely slip my mind. Well, based on the assumption that late is better than never, I guess I should take the time to pat myself on the back. It's now about one year and four months since I started this blog.

Not much has changed, but some things have. I decided to limit my political postings, for one thing, while not entirely avoiding politics. I look at it like this. Nobody is going to change my mind, and the chances of my changing anybody's mind is like slim and none, and-wait a minute, what's that, over there in that cloud of dust that just left town? Fuck, it's Slim.

In other words, I figure the only people that want to hear what I have to say about politics is people that either already agree with me, or not, but I ain't going to make no big mark on the world one way or another. I might get linked here and there on a few political blogs, but I'm pretty unlikely to be interviewed by Larry King or Keith Olbermann, so why bother?

On the other hand, if I feel I have some unique perspective on things, yeah, I'll still chime in here and there. But for the most part, I've decided to just take it as it comes. Just write about whatever I feel, when the mood hits.

Anyway, I thought, well, since this is a late anniversary exercise in ego, I'll just go over some of my past posts, with links. Of course, there is the dilemna of what to choose from, but the obvious answer quickly presented itself. Why not post a link to one post from each month?

Hopefully, somebody somewhere might find my bizarre ramblings on varied subjects over the last roughly one and a half years worth clicking on to. And so, without further ado, I once again embarass myself with some of the most oddball reminiscences I could collect under one post.

This June 05 post falls under the category of "Do as I say, not as I do". It was a technique for the gradual cessation of smoking that I called The Way-I Hope-To Stop Smoking. I failed, but don't let that stop you. The formula, and accompanying year long ritual observances are still sound, in my opinion. The problem was not with the message, it just needed a better messenger.

In July of 05, I conducted a little experiment in Tarot reading, to try to ascertain who George Bush was going to pick for his first Supreme Court appointment. It ended up being John Roberts, and if I say so myself, the reading I conducted on this post here, while not perfect, came awful close in describing Bush's eventual appointee. You read it, and you be the judge of it's overall accurracy.

In August 05, I delved into a little bit of my ancestral heritage as a pagan eccentric in this post I did about my great-great granfather, Ira Wells Senior-Satanist. I never actually met the man, he was long long dead and gone by the time I was born, but this might be proof that certain things are just in the blood.

In September 05, which for the most part was dedicated to rages and rants involving Hurricane Katrina, I took enough time out to conduct a rant against the political correctness agenda of the folks of Court TV, in which I decided that it was more Court TV for Soap Lovers than it was for those actually interested in equal justice or the law.

In October of 05, I decided, after careful consideration, to relate an experiment that I once conducted with marijuana and anise seed essential oil in The Ritual Uses Of Anise. It was an experiment that proved most interesting and provocative. I may have also inadverdently as a result learned the identity of a murderer. Too bad I have no way of proving it.

In November of 05 I was somewhat amazed as well as amused at the spectacle of so many people who were heading to a certain cathedral near Sacremento California, in hopes of viewing, and receiving healing, from the purported miracle of a statue of the Virgin Mary that cried tears of blood. I have never learned exactly what the truth was concerning this, but I did posit a list of very possible reasons as to Why Is Mary Crying.

In December of 05, I decided to be the Al Gore of Kentucky, in an environmental post that I called Pikeville And The Vanishing Mountains.

Janurary of 06 was a boring month, filled with pretty much useless rants, but some good posts as well, but for now I'll stick to this simple little propserity ritual of my own design. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to cut your own hair by candlight at night? Read this and wonder no more.

In February of 06, I uncovered a sinister plan of George W. Bush and the Neo-Cons which he revealed in his State Of The Union Address of that year in what seemed to be an exercise in plausible deniability. Watch out, I declared, for Those Evil Human Animal Hybrids.

In March of 06, I reminisced about the evil plan I could have made my own, but passed up the chance for power, fame and infamy in The Cult That Never Was.

In April of 06 I finally posted the story of Washington DC councilman Jim Graham, Aaron Burr, and the skull of James Wirt in the bizarre mystery I called The Place Of A Skull.

In May of 06 I made the mistake of copying and pasting from my Yahoo Group, Paganbitchslap, a short story that I should have rewritten and posted directly from Blogger, and to Blogger, as the printing is smaller than usual. Still, it's a good short story, in my opinion, though I do probably need to rewrite it. The name says it all, and if you have the stomach you can read here The Curse Of The Pussy Eating Vampire.

In June of 06, I delved into what seems to be the second childhood of Neil Young, as he bemoaned the lack of protest singers. It's the gold records, stupid, I more or less explained in
The Times They Have A' Changed.

Well, that should have been my anniversary post, but why leave well enough alone? Since we're on the subject of celebrities , might as well delve into this July 06 post I did in response to Mel Gibsons drunken anti-Semitic rant, in which I explain the background and historicity of Chrisitian Anti-Semitism in Anti Semitic Conscousness And Consequences.

That brings us to August of 06, and one of my own personal all time favorite posts, in which I extoll the red-blooded, all-American virtues inherent in A Teenage Sexual Fantasy.

Finally, I guess we'll end it with this one post from last month, September 06, in which I come clean and admitted my own past indiscretions-er, sort of-in Confession-MeAnd Debbie LeFave.

Well, so I guess that's it. Happy Birthday to me. Please take the time to read some of this inane crap, and feel free to comment as usual, preferably on this post, about any of them. Your regular readership and friendship, your praise and constructive criticism, is always appreciated. Hell, I think if I was to have you all over for a party some time, I might even have to add an extra room to the house. I must be doing something right.

Question

UPDATE: Well, the fucking shit has happenned again, and I'm almost sure it has something to do with this god damn Blogger Beta bull shit, so fuck it. No more posts until this fucking shit has been settled, for good, which means no more posts for maybe a week after it has been fixed with NO MOTHERFUCKING INTERRUPTIONS!!!!

So if some of these cocksucking sites want to try to sell me something with their goofy fucking ads I guess they are just shit out of luck, not that I would buy anything from the fucking morons anyway, becasue they slow me down so much THEY PISS ME THE FUCK OFF!!!!



Just wondering, does anybody besides me have a problem with Blogrolling.com, or is having one? Jus thought I'd ask, because I want you to know, in case you come on this site and notice the Blogroll is gone-I didn't do it. I can't log onto the site either, I keep getting an error message. Yet, the blogroll shows up on Hillbilly White Trash, so I can't figure it out. If anybody has any information as to what's going on, I'd appreciate hearing it. Until such time as this mess is fixed I won't be blogging. I've about had it with this shit anyway, if it ain't one thing it's another. I'm sick of wasting my time with this crap, there ain't a night that goes by that I get to bed at a decent hour. It's either something with Blogger itself, if not, then it's Technorati, or Site Meter, or some other stupid fucking shit, and I've had it. Now it's Blogrolling, the one major feature on my blog I seldom have a problem with. So fuck it.

Goodbye for now, I need a vacation from this useless shit anyway.

The Mysteries Of Asatru

An interesting fusion of sorts seems to be transpiring in American prisons, involving the seeming conversion of many white prisoners to the pagan religion of Asatru, prisoners who happen to be White Supremacist. It was a woman by the name of Else Christesnsen who seems to have been responsbile for the recognition within the prison system of Asatru as a bona fide religion, the same as Judaism, Islam, etc. Still, she and the majoriy of Asatru adherents could scarcely have been prepared for the latest results of these eforts.

In fact, perhaps the major Asatru group, known as The Asatru Alliance, is quite adamant, that there is no place within it's ranks for hatred or racial prejudice. Thanks at least in large part to this controversy, they have stated that there shall be no political alignment with either the left or the right within it's ranks.

Still, they are not the last word, or the only word. In fact, the fusion and confusion which I mentioned seems to be due to the presence of two similar though ideologically distinct pagan organizations. The second, not legitimately called Asatru, is known instead as Wotanism, which was founded by a man by the name of David Lane, who intended his sect to be purposefully distinct from what he calls the "folkish" Asatruers, who are for the most part disdained as univeralist and "new age", equated by Wotanists with Wiccans.

Wotan, Lane says, serves also as an antonym, or, W.O.T.A.N.-Will Of The Aryan Nations.

Whereas Asatru tends toward Norse Reconstructionism, Wotanism tends to see their gods, Wotan of course being the most important, as Jungian archetypes. Yet, they seem as well to go beyond this in some respects.

Even the old myth of the warriors death and reward in Valhalla is given a white racialist slant. Those who fight and die for the preservation of the white race, will be sent to Valhalla, where they will engage in many heroic battles, and at night will feast and be tended by beautiful maidens known as Valkyries. Those who do not fight, called Thralls, will upon death be torn assunder and dispersed into the chaos of eternal night, or Helgard.

As for Valhalla, this is seen as not as a literal spiritual afterlife, but actually as a form of reincarnation, where they will then carry on the battle, be blessed with a beautiful wife (who herself will be the reincarnation of a virtuos Aryan woman). Eventually, they will be granted entrance into Valhalla, where they will blend into the Universal Life Force.

All this is for the pleasure of the AllFather-Wotan, or Odin-who it turns out created all races of man for his own pleasure. He needed flesh and blood forms in order to be able to experience death, victory, love, pleasure, etc. In other words, if you fail to provide the All-Father with this entertainment, you are really going to piss him off.

And evidently, to ensure there was plenty of fun and games, he created all races just to compete with each other.

The Asatru, in the meantime, are beside themselves. Their attraction to their religion was not based on any feelings of racial superiority, or race hatred, it is merely an outgrowth of pride in their own racial culture and heritage, which they respect and want to promote in it's positive aspects. They see the Middle Eastern religions, rightly in my opinion, as foreign agents which are unatural to those of European descent.

In other words, the difference in Asatru and Wotanism is a fine line between the positive and the negative. The Asatru should have seen that coming when they initiated their prison outreach programs, but evidently they weren't looking out of Odins good eye.

To the prisoners who embrace the new faith, it is a mark of good behavior, as pointed out to me in a comment on this earlier post I did on the subject. Alignment with a recognized religous group gets you certain privileges and considerations. It also offers a degree of protection from prison predators and scavengers.

It didn't turn out so well, however, for Mark Lenz, Jeffry Remington, and Brent Parker, the last of whom was murdered, stabbed more than fifty times before an altar of Odin, by the other two. Accordding to Lenz, who was just recently executed by lethal injection for the crime, Parker disrespected the gods, did not treat the religion seriously, and so their honor was at stake. Or, maybe it was because the two suspected Parker was planning to attack them. Or, it might have been a calculated murder to gain control of the cult. No one knows for sure.

Ironically, Lenz was orignally sent to prison for a series of burglaries that didn't involve violence, while Parker, the murder victim, had received fifty years in prison for the drunken murder of an associate whom he beat literally to death, then running over his body with his car, later laughing and bragging about it at a local bar. Jeffrey Remington, the co-murderer of Parker, hung himself in his own prison cell some years ago.

Of course, this kind of shenanigans can happen in any religion, and particularly in any prison group. The Asatru groups are, however, understandably dismayed that these activities might come in time to be identified with them. Still, as I pointed out on The Wild Hunt Blog, in a comment on this post which was deleted for some mysterious reason I can only guess at, prison outreach to these people should be continued. But they shouldn't expect these people to overnight become tolerant univeralist minded pagans adhering to concepts of universal broherhood and love.

It is fine to stress pride in European culture and heritage. That is one of the reasons these people gravitated to Asatru to begin with. There is no reason to give up now, due to a few unfortunate incidents, which should in some respects have been foreseen to begin with. Asatru can be a valuable tool with which these people can put their lives back together, and learn to live in positive ways, both inside the prison system, and outside of it, for those who will eventually be released. One thing is for certain. Whether you prefer to think of them as legitimate Asatru, or as Wotanists who have insinuated themselves into a prison outreach program under maybe false pretenses in order for the benefits they might derive from the system, they are there now. The Asatru can try to bridge the gap and try to moderate their behavior through the prison system and hope it sticks in time, or they can denouce them and maintain a rivalry which will accomplish nothing.

Otherwise, they will simply gravitate to the various Neo-Nazi groups on the outside, as they have already been doing. It is a growing trend in the White Nationalist movement as it stands now, and can only get bigger. It didn't have to be that way, and maybe still doesn't have to be that way. But that's the way it probably will be.

The picture above of Odin comes from Norse Mythology Pictures, which are all on the public domain. For anyone interested in Norse mythology, I recommend it highly.

Abortion-The Board Game

This coming election year, there will be the dependable percentage of both Democrats and Republicans who will be single issue voters. In some cases, those single issues will come in bundles, known as values. But an appreciable percentage will be bona fide numbskulls who will vote solely on how politicians and, in a great many if not most cases, a political party in general, is perceived on one issue.

Perhaps the largest and most obvious example of single issue voters are those whose vote is based solely on the abortion issue. Republicans, of course, are the "Pro-Life" party, while Democrats are seen as the party which is "Pro-Choice".

So controversial and divisive is this issue there seems to be no chance for common ground when it comes to single issue voters, and the subject of abortion is certainly no exception. Conservatives for the most part insist there is no legitimate reason for an abortion whatsoever. Rape, incest, the life and health of the mother, or severe deformity of the fetus in question is no excuse.

The most liberal Democrats and their supporters are no better. If they had their way there would be no controls, no regulations whatsoever, on a womans right to seek a safe and legal abortion at any time or place, during any period of her pregnancy. Nor is age a factor, to them any young girl should have the right to get an abortion and be under no compunction whatsoever to receive parental consent, or for that matter to provide notification to said parents of her intentions.

Politicians for the most part are brought and paid for by the proponents of one side or another, and are dependent on the voting drive efforts put forth by the supporters/opponents of the various positions, to say nothing of financial contributions to the coffers of the various candidates.

As such, it is not unusual to see a politician spend a great amount of time demagoguing this subject. Nor does it stop after the election cycle. Then it moves into the stratosphere of court appointments. Republicans are determined to appoint conservative activist judges who would, if they got their way, overturn Roe v. Wade. Liberals of course oppose the appointment of such judges, in fact during confirmation proceedings, this seems to be their main area of concern. If they had their way, they would insure that Roe remained the law of the land.

It has, in effect, become a game. As such, I propose just that. Let's turn it into a board game, one that I would call, "Abortion: The Game". For players from 8 on up, and from four to eight players, I believe it would be a great educational tool, and fun for the entire family.

Here's how it would work. No player gets to choose what role he plays in the game, this would be determined by the random drawing from a specific deck of pre-shuffled cards. These cards will be used only once, for the purpose of assigning roles. These roles would be as follows:

1. One pregnant woman, who is unsure as to whether to get an abortion. She feels she should get one because
a. She has been raped
b. She wasn't aware the man who seduced her was, in reality, her long lost half brother
c. The child will be deformed
d. Her health, possibly her life, is at stake
e. The child is not her husbands
f. The child is her husbands, but he is a louse and she wants a divorce
g. She is poor and cannot provide for the child
h. It would interfere with her career and educational pursuits
i. She just doesn't want to have a baby yet, she's just not ready for that kind of responsibility
j. She is unmarried and wants to stay that way, and does not want to have to be a single mother
k. She is a young girl, too young to have a baby, and is also afraid of getting in trouble for being sexually active
l. She and her family are pillars of the community and she fears the scandal of giving birth to what is actually an interracial child.

One of these twelve choices will be determined by a roll of the dice within a marked area on the back of the board. If both die remain on the board she (or he) must combine the numbers, giving her a choice of from seven to twelve. If only one of the die remains on the board, the other will be excluded, giving her a choice of from one to six. If no die remains on the board, the toss is repeated for a total of three times, after which the number showing on the die closest to the board will be chosen. The dice should be tossed by a person other than the person playing the role of the mother.

The other characters are as follows:

2. The potential father of the child, the first players husband (or lover, half-brother, rapist, etc.).

3. A Pro-Choice politician

4. A Pro-Life politician

5. An abortion provider

6. A conservative minister

7. Pro-Choice protestor

8. Pro-Life protester

All these characters will be assigned a specific pack of cards appropriate for their roles. The game then starts. The object of the game is for each character to make it from the beginning to the end-"The Abortion Clinic".

Every move by each player will be determined by a toss of the dice. However, there are four spots on the board marked "Danger". If you land on one of these spots, you are relegated from that point on to the use of only one die.

Also along the way, there will be spots on the board which require you to draw a card from your appropriate pack. Every such deck will contain some cards which are similar in nature. For example, one will say, "on your next roll you must move backwards the number of spots equal to the number you roll." Also, each will have one card which will say to "Advance four extra spots.

These are the "Draw A Card" spots, and each player will as I said draw from a card which will contain instructions appropriate for their particular characters. Examples of these might be:

The woman-"Describe how you felt when you were raped (or discovered you were pregnant by your half-brother, or was pregnant with an interracial baby, etc.) At this point, she has to draw from a different set of cards before she can advance, when it comes her turn. The correct card will be marked, and she must read it, after which she advances off the square the number of points on the die or dice she has rolled. She can not advance for example if she draws a card that says, "I felt like baking a cake".

Or the preacher might draw a card that says "Give an example of a Biblical verse that justifies your position". He then as well must when it comes his turn cast the die or dice, and draw a card, after which he advances the number of moves only upon drawing the appropriate card. "Blessed are the peacemakers" ain't going to cut it.

The husband or whatever is in a peculiar position. A toss of the dice will determine as to whether he is in favor of or opposed to the womans actions, and a particular set of cards will be appropriated him accordingly. He might well draw a card that says, "You have been accused of spousal abuse, go back twelve spaces."

All characters as well might land on a space that will require them to draw a card, which might well inform them they have now been arrested for this, that, or the other. They are stuck there until they roll doubles.

The object of the game is to make it to the abortion clinic, which requires a specific roll of the dice or die from any one specific point on the board. Players also can land on the same spot. However, if two characters from opposing teams land on the same spot, they are in opposition, and are fighting to advance, which will be determined by which character rolls the largest number on the dice or die. If one character has been relegated to one die and the other hasn't, then the one die player is of course at a disadvantage. Also, though neither player can move until both have rolled, they still must take their time in the appropriate order. What is more, the person who rolls the least amount, must after both rolls have been made, move backward according to the number he or she has rolled.

If the doctor and the woman both make it to the clinic, then she has had her abortion and wins the game.

Finally, there is one spot that is critical, the last spot before reaching the abortion clinic. If you land here and are using both die, you must then go backwards your next roll.

If two of the opposing teams players make it inside the abortion clinic, and the doctor is there, then they "kill the abortion doctor" and the game is over. Similarly,if they make it to the abortion clinic before the doctor, then they "bomb the abortion clinic" and likewise have won the game.

If the woman is there, however, then all four opposing players must make it there before the doctor in order to win the game.

If the doctor along with the woman makes it there before all four of the opposing players, they have won the game. Likewise, if one or more of her teammates,including the doctor, makes it there, they nullify the effects of the corresponding opposing player.

If the woman makes it there before the doctor, then she must wait for him or her. However, she blocks the path of the opposing players, until they roll doubles. If two or more opposing players finally make it in with her before the abortion doctor, then they talk her out of having the abortion. Game over.

Needs some work, maybe, but like I said, a fun way to learn the ins and outs of both sides of the issue, which is why, natch, nobody can arbitrarily choose the roles they want.

The picture at the top is of an aborted fetus, which I propose for the front cover of the box for "Abortion:The Game", courtesy of Phatmos.com.

For Robert Anton Wilson-Have A Heart Or Two

There is no God. Well, okay, maybe one. Two, three, tops. Maybe. Okay, two or three dozen, all right, enough already, who cares?

Although I am a relatively new self-appointed Pope of Discordianism, am constantly getting excommunicated by GrouchoGhandhi, and am constantly being ignored in my quest to have pig-wrestling-with-a-blanket-in-mud recognized as the official initiation ritual of Discordianism, still I deeply appreciate the efforts of Robert Anton Wilson in his life pursuit to demonstrate just how totally ridiculous, to the point of absurdity, is the concept of organized religion.

Now, this greatest of all founding profits is in dire need of assistance, being as he is a sufferer of post polio syndrome. A good man is dying, and his medical bills are considerable. I will say nothing further about it, as Rufus in Grad Student Madness has already said it very succinctly.

And so, I urge you to read that post from Rufus, and afterwards to visit Wilsons web-site. If you are so inclined, and able, I urge you to contribute to his medical expenses, which you can do through his pay-pal account listed there.

As Rufus says, Karma will thank you. Hey, it works in "My Name Is Earl."

Also, your third eye will finally be able to see past your nose. It might not like everything it sees, but you can't have everything. So what, just e-mail a donation by way of this pay pal account, all right? It's at olgaceline@gmail.com. You might have to go to the web-site though for that to go through Pay-Pal.

In closing, that greatest of all universal secrets is, there are actually countless numbers of gods, at last count in fact there are seven billion or so here on this planet. Some of them should have a heart.

News Flash- "I'm Gay", Says Foley

When Foley recently released through his lawyer a statement to the effect that, "he wants you all to know he is gay", I said to myself, well what do you know, the son-of-a-bitch is trying to deal one last, desperate blow (no pun intended) at the Democrats.

Consider that Republicans are desperate to not let Foley's Follies contribute to a Conservative Christian revolt at the polls, and this self-serving message becomes all too obvious. After all, to Christian Conservatives, who ordinarily tend to vote overwhelmingly Republican, this could well be a coded reference to the fact that these people look at gays as:

1. Potential child molesters all
2. Overwhelmingly Democratic in voter sentiment
3. Especially if they are flagrantly open and activist.

In other words, what Foley's coded message seems to be is, if you hate me and find me despicable, fine, but remember, it is the Democratic Party who openly supports the agenda of people like me.

Sure enough, later on today I received in my e-mail a link to this editorial from Ann Coulter which contains her take on the matter, comparing the Foley scandal to one that transpired two decades ago, involving a Democratic Congressman by the name of Gerry Studs. I have to admit that, if true, she does make a valid point as to the difference of the Democratic Party reactions then, as compared to now. You can read the article here.

Or, just for the hell of it, you might prefer the missive of our good Reverend Hayes of Conservatives For Family Values, who makes it all too plain that Congressman Foley himself might himself have been the victim of young sex obsessed pages , in
Dont Take A Page From Foleys Book.

First it was alcohol that received the blame, and now it's homosexuality, due to Foley's alleged molestation by a priest. Surely there's more, though. Oh, if only they hadn't taken God out of the classrooms.

Pssst!-Hey, Kid! Wanna Play With My Bill?

(Photo from Boorman.Livejournal.com)
Now that Mark Foley has gone into alcohol rehab, in order to help deal with his "alcohol related behavioral problems", he will doubtless at some future date devote a good deal of time to fighting the evil scourge of alcohol abuse, maybe even as much time as he had previously devoted to fighting the scourge of child sex abuse.

Who knows, he might even do it as a returning Congressman. Stranger things have happenned, and you know what they say. Americans have a short memory. Or is that, Americans are a forgiving people?

Or is that, Americans tend to be stupid motherfuckers?

I've always wondered about people who seem so strident about certain issues. I've known people who spend a lot of their conversational time making statements such as, child molesters should be castrated; or hung; or locked up for life where they should be prison bitches; or they should be monitored for life.

Well, what I find interesting about this is the simple fact that I know of few people that are beating the drum in favor of the constitutional or civil rights of pedophiles, with the sole exception of Nambla, and arguably, the ACLU. And even Namble is questionable, in my opinion, as I have to wonder just how deeply imbedded within that organization are FBI undercover internet porn investigators.

Be that as it may, when I hear people going on like this, I have to wonder if:

1. They are just obsessed with this issue and are genuinely disgusted with it. Understandable, of course, but certainly an unusual thing on which to spend an inordiante amount of time, if you are a normal person, that is.

2. They are suspicous of everyone around them including me, or you, if you are the recipient of one of these monoloques, as I have been, and possibly we are being fed a line to ferret out exactly where we stand. Are we for pedophiles, or against them? And is that bad-or is that a good thing?

3. Possibly, they themselves have been molested, which if true would certainly be an understandable expression of rage.

4. They are themselves pedophiles who are full of self-loathing, and trying to work through their problems, maybe in a state of denial, desperate to hide the awful truth from everyone around them, most especially themselves.

5. They are themselves pedophiles who are comfortable in their own skins, but still feel obliged to play a cynical game. This last group is the ones who might in time graduate from mere conversational obsession with the subject, to actual pro-active involvement through such avenues as, for example, the Center For Missing And Abused Children.

It might be a good investment of a persons time to visit one of these centers, during a public relations type event. Learn about the program, hob-nob with the various volunteers and other contributors and position holders in this and various other similar organizations. Shake hands with them. When you get home later, you might feel like taking a shower, when you consider that, if you met as many of ten people who work for one of these groups on a regular basis, there is a pretty good chance that one, two, or three, or more, might actually be pedophiles.

Some of them might even end up, as Mark Foley did, seeking a political career.

And don't think for one second Foley could not possibly recover from this debaucle. Consider this fact. The young man whom he has been mainly accussed of pursuing,through e-mails and instant messages, was sixteen at the time. He is now seventeen.

The age of consent in Florida is seventeen. The age of consent in Washington, where the alleged crimes occurred, is sixteen. It could very well be that Foley's more legally damning crime is that of abuse of power.

Still, you have to wonder exactly why, according to The Raw Story, Foley has a
MYSpace Profile, albeit one of little distinction. You do of course have to have a MySpace Profile before you can communicate with other members, of any age.

You also have to wonder just why so many Republicans set on this story and seemed unwilling to do anything substantial about it. On the other hand, you should equally wonder just why so many Democrats possibly, although this isn't quite so clear, did not seem fit to reveal the facts of this bizarre case until a month before the election.

There are a lot of people who are genuinely conerned about this issue, and they should feel outraged. They should also feel pretty fucking stupid.

Jack The Ripper-Television Show Proposal

Pictured above-the corpse of Mary Kelley, as discovered after becomming the fifth, and allegedly last, of the five canonical victims of "Jack The Ripper".

If you read this, consider yourself tagged. I decided to do a dreaded meme, only this one is a bit different from the ordinary. My idea is, see what kind of television show proposals we can all come up with. If you happen to hate television, no excuse. All the more reason for you to develop a proposal which you consider would be above the ordinary fare you usually find.

My idea would not be suitable for the commercial networks, as it would be far too bloody and gruesome. It would be more ideal for HBO or Showtime. Basically, what it would amount to, would be a continuing drama, a serial, in which a reporter for the London Times, one who works out of the London Whitechapel Police Departtment, would become obsessed with investigating the Jack The Ripper murders, in the hopes of being the one who would discover his true identity and thus crack the case.

My character would make a perfect suspect in his own right. His mother was a prostitute, while his father had been a high ranking officer in Scotland Yard who went mad from syphyllus. Yes, he is still alive, and is a suspect. As for the main character, he had been married, but his wife had run out on him, leaving no clue as to where she had gone, or who she had run off with, if anyone. Yet, he had considered their marriage to be a good one, as in flashbacks she seems to have loved him as much as he did her.

Following their split, their teenage son had fallen in with a gang of roughnecks, and is still a continual source of trouble to him.

Then, following the murder of the fourth prostitute, Catherine Eddows, whom he had known well, he becomes more and more obsessed with the killings, and begins investigating.

There are a number of recurring characters. His editor, his contact at the Whitechapel police, a fellow reporter. There are a number of well known characters and others who are vaguely known due to their tentative connections to the Ripper case. For example, Montaque J. Druitt, a barrister and former teacher who had fallen into some kind of trouble due to, it is rumored, an innapropriate sexual contact with a young student.

One of the most important characters will be Mary Jane Kelley, a prostitute who happens to have as her real name the same name that his prostitute friend had often used as an alias. She wonders if she had not been the intended target, as rumors had circulated that it was she who had been arrested prior to the other womans murder.

For the most part, however, most of the characters are random examples of London Whitechapel street life, or middle class businessmen, and prostitutes, etc. Cops, reporters, doctors, craftsmen, ministers. For the most part the kind of seemingly ordinary people that would have gone unnoticed in daily life.

But of course there would be a fair share of well known folks as well who might in some ways come under the umbrella of suspicion. It would be remiss not to include the now infamous painter Walter Sickert, recently accussed by author Patricia Cornwall of having been the Ripper. And so, he would be a regular character as well, along with some of the other suspects that have been identified over the years.

By the end of the first season, it is obvious that one thing is going to happen. Mary Kelley is going to be murdered. And that will take up, in fact, almost the entirety of the last episode, as the main character is laid up in his own bed, shot up with opium by his former runaway wife, whom he has found, and who has now returned in the hopes of robbing him. She has done so, and left, and he tries desperately to pull himself together, as the scenes alternate between his helplessness and the assault of Mary Kelley, by a person whose image we only see from behind, as he suddenly cuts her throat, and then begins to savagely mutilate her, all the while whistling an oddly familiar tune, one we seem to have heard once before, closer toward the beginning of the season. Who was it?

Then, we see him leaving the apartment house of Mary Kelley, and for the first time we see him. We finally learn the identity of Jack The Ripper. Well, this fictitous one, that is, probably an ordinary person that was not well or even slightly known.

The next season, and the last one, would revolve around the main character eventually discovering who it is, and killing him, but in the meantime being unable to gather the evidence to prove the persons guilt.

I got this idea from a conversation a bunch of us were having on The Widows Son's site
The Burning Taper, on a September 22nd post, with some moron called "MySpace Mike", who was obsessed with the idea of some grand Masonic conspiracy. In the course of an extraordinarily long series of copy-and-paste jobs from anti-Masonic sources, he mentioned somewhere the subject of Jack The Ripper, whom some have tied to the Masons, due to some obscure suppossedly Masonic reference left in graffiti on the wall by one of the murder scenes.

I thought, well, that would make a great television series, and for that matter, a great meme.

So there you have it. Come on, everybody, top this one if you can. Let those creative juices flow.

Hail Eris, Full Of Grace

Well, you've certainly been a busy little goddess throughout the eons, and you've certainly made your mark on the world. You've convinced the sun to go in the opposite direction. With just one toss of an apple you were responsible for the Trojan War. You've still got your own, fun loving cult of followers. And now, finally, you've got your own little planet named after you.

So, what will you do next?

"Ah, but that would be telling."