Sting-The Highland Lout

Old rock stars never die, as long as there is classic rock radio, anyway, but they sure as fuck do get boring and pretentous as hell. Well, what the shit can you expect from a guy that goes by a moniker like "Sting"?

The former front man for the late seventies and eighties rock band "The Police" (when Sting had something to say that was fucking worth listening to), has recently said he finds rock music of today boring.

I would suggest there are three main reasons for that. One, the recording company executives put more emphasis on flash and style, and sex appeal, than they do actual creative substance. Two, there are a disproportionate number of fans that prefer the kind of pablum that results from this in comparison to fans that actually have taste.

Then, there is number three, a most overlooked factor. The artists themselves are boring. After all, art is suppossed to be a reflection, more or less, of the society that produces it. That's why rap music tends to be so creative, the better rap artists are themselves creative, talented, driven, and far from boring.

Ergo, the better heavy metal. True, there are pretentous, superficial aspects of these and in fact all genres of music. But, there are the true gems. It just so hapens that when it comes to more traditional hard rock, or rock and roll, you don't have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get to the atrocous. It's more like a pond, one that seemingly holds promise, but the scum rises to the top and eventually chokes the life out of anything worthwhile.

The only thing left is the bottom feeders that live off the rot of the decay. In a way, they do it well. They are survivors, and they seem to be getting not better, but bitter.

But enough of this tangent. Here's an even better comparison. Have you ever happenned across some old coot, sitting on his front porch waving at the passers-by, drooling on his shirt, looking at turns, angry, forlorn, or amused? If you engage him in conversation, you will find that he has little to say that is relevant about the modern era. If he tries, as often as not he is way off the mark. And I'm not meaning this as a slam at old people either, I'm talking about a particular kind of old person, one that simply has no respect, tolerance, or undertanding of the world as it is today, in any of it's aspects. He only knows he don't like it too good. He makes that all too clear. It makes no sense to him. Therefore, what he says about it will make little sense as well.

But, get him going down memory lane, and it can be an interesting experience. You can learn a lot from the old coot. The problem is, those days are gone, ain't ever coming back, and the old coot just can't deal with it. After a while, listening to him gets old, and even looses what original historical value it may have had, if any.

You see, peoples memories with age tend to get faulty, and they seem to dwell overly on either the good or the bad. There is seldom any balance in their attitudes. That is because people who have a balanced perspective tend not to dwell so much on the past. Which in a way is a shame, becasue you could learn more of actual value from them than you ever could from the typical "old coot".

And so it is with Sting. One of the few exceptions to this rule was John Lennon, and even he temporarily fell into the trap of musical reminiscing about the past and the so-called glory days. They all do it.

"Oh, when we were young and had all these fans and the world at our fingertips, and people hung on our every words, and chased us down the streets and tried to rip our clothes, and we had all these groupies who followed us from concert to concert, and we had all these wild parties, drinking, drugs, and sex, and we tore up all these hotel rooms.

"But we're older now and we see the world differently now, and now we wish that we-"

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL FUCKING READY!!!!! WHO GIVES A FUCK??!!!!

Create something relevant, already. Sing about shit that people want to hear about, because it speaks to their inner thoughts and feelings. Who the fuck do you think can relate to your past experiences? Just what is the percentage of the worlds populations that travelled the country and stayed at first class motels, performed before tens of thousands of people at once, and engaged in drunken, drug saturated orgies on a regular basis?

That's the first problem with the aging rock star. He's so pretenous, so full of his own self-importance, he thinks that his intropective reflections on his own life are interesting. And they might well be, for one fucking song. Not, however, for a full fucking CD of them. Or two, or three.

Number two: Nobody gives a rats ass what you think about politics, or about world issues. So shut the fuck up about it. You're not Ghandhi. You're not Chruchill. You're a fucking entertainer. You're views about the dangers of nuclear energy are based on what you believe based on the very limited perspective of the crowd you play to. They are no better than my views, in fact, they're probably not as good. When I hear you run off at the mouth like the expert you are not, you make me want to vote Republican. Go smoke a fucking joint, then drop some acid, and then cut your tonque out.

Finally, here's number three, which might be the most offensive of all. What is it with the fucking strings and orchestras? What in the holy name of fuck do you think you're doing? Why in the hell are you constantly driving up the price of your music by adding in between fifty and two hundred professional violinists, cellist, trombonists, clarinetists, and scores of others, all under the direction of a conductor? How in the hell does this qualify as "rock" music. Who wants to listen to this syrupy shit?

Okay, then, let's talk about the good old days? Remember when you were in a group, and you wrote your own songs, and there were like five of you total, a couple of guitar players, a bass player, a drummer, and a guy on keyboards, maybe every now and then one or two of you doubled on other instruments, and rarely, rarely, for a change of pace, you added orchestra music?

Yeah, those were the good old days, weren't they? Fuck you.