Britney Spears And The Follies Of Life

Yeah, I know, I should be ashamed of myself for doing this, but so probably should you, as there is a good chance you were led to this page by a Google or other such search engine device, and may be here for the first time because of it. So what do you have to say for yourself?

Okay, okay, here's my excuse-besides trying to increase my page views, that is. As a pagan, I can draw a very real correlation to the star struck adolation that Spears and other media celebrities enjoy, and encourage, as being similar to a kind of perverse idolatry. Hollywood movie and television personalities, as well as recording stars,are, in a very real sense, living gods and goddesses.

So don't bother me with this nonsense about how they are only human, they put their pants on one leg at a time, etc., because it's not true. We won't let it be true. That's why when Brittney Spears was photographed driving while carrying her baby unsecured, in her lap, it drew such media attention. A mere mortal,of course, would have been fined, and possibly even jailed, and would face the prospect of having both license and child removed from her possession.

In the case of Brittney Spears, the reaction was a bit more benign. The police showed up at her property and told her that if she ever needed assistance to be sure and contact them. Talk about idol worship.

Or, maybe they were to an extent at least subconscously wanting to get a piece of that ass, after all, her bodyguard probably is, why can't they, the much beleaquered public servants who protect us from crime, yeah, right.

Oh, I almost forgot, yeah, the bodyguard. Has anyone ever known of a time when Broccoli Spears has ever appearred in public without a crowd of fawning attendants in her company. I mean, hell, every time you see her, she is leading a procession of courteirs that would be the envy of any visiting dignitary.

So why this one time was she out and about with just this one bodyguard-especially with the baby? That's the one aspect that makes it difficult to overlook. A media celebrity out with just one bodyguard, fine, but with the baby along, you would think caution would dictate extra protection in the case of the unexpected appearrance of a nutcase.

A clue, this is a typical trick of unfaithful wives everywhere. "Hey, honey, I'm taking the baby out for a ride (or walk, etc.), be back in a bit."

"Okay", responds the unsuspecting cuckold, "be sure and take a bodyguard"(or friend,such and such neighbor, etc., in more typical cases)

"Oh, sure honey"-(clears throat to regain composure)-"thanks for reminding me, I guess that' s a good idea. "

"You should remember that, babe, there's all kinds of nuts out there. Some of them can be real dicks."

"Uuuhhh-yeah, they can, sweetie. Well, talk to you later. Love you honey. We won't be gone long. Maybe an hour or two."

Of course, the papparazi, those fiends, will never miss an opportunity to photograph Brittney and her adorable, precous baby, so how could they resist, after spotting the bodyguard entering the restaurant, with Brittney and baby out in the car. You would think she would be somewhat relieved they were there, annoying as they are, they are at least assurrance of some inadverdant protection.

But no, she freaks, this goddess, and flees, leaving the hapless bodyguard barely enough time to hop into the front seat passenger side. You know what they say about a guilty conscience. The guilty goddess flees when no one pursues. Well, okay, they were "pursuing", but not after what she thought they were after, i.e., newspaper evidence of a breaking new celebrity scandal.

So, see there, ain't you glad Google brought you here. Learn something new everyday. And if you are one of the police that ever so gracously offerred your assistance, take note of this. With just the proper approach, you just might get you a piece of that ass yet.

Cindy Gets Out Of The Race

Well, it's official, and thankfully sanity has prevailed, as Cindy Shehan has decided not to run for the Senate seat from California in oppossition to Dianne Feinstein, whom she compares to an enabler to a drug addict, refusing to cut off the funding for the Iraqi War, even though she knows it is wrong.

I'll give her this much, she has a point when she complains about how sheepishly the Democrats voted for the Presidents plan to invade Iraq. We were all a little too eager in those days, and even those Democrats who should have known better were afraid of the political consequences if they did not support the President. It was a shameful period in our history, and I am as much ashamed of myself as anything for allowing myself to be swept up into the rhetoric.

She further states that she will stand against all Pro-War Democrats,which is what she refers to thsoe who do not call for an immediate withdrawal from Iraq. Here, again, I see her point, but she does not herself get the bigger picture. And that' s where her argument loses validity.

I stand firm in my belief that the invasion of Afghanistan and removal of the Taliban was the right and proper thing to do, yet she does not see it that way, and in fact comes across as a person who never saw a war she could support for any reason. Add to this the list of other bizzarre positions held in general by the members of her far left clique, and it becomes obvious that she is fighting a loosing battle, and just why it is such a loosing proposition.

And that is the ultimate absurdity of her position. Her and her supporters various and sundry looney positions are so out of touch with the majority of Americans, no one who is seen as being too close to her and them can possibly hope to win. The end result of this, of course, is that the winners may well ultimately be those who oppose all their positions. The looney ones, and the ones that might have some validity. They will both meet the same fate, shot out of the sky, and doomed to go down in a blaze of nuttiness.

The Constitutional Right To Harass

Any day now, the way certain things have been going, I halfway espect to go to my window in response to a ruckus outside, and see a bunch of lunatics carrying signs that read, "Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Witch To Live". Hopefully, I would have enough sense to not open fire, unless they made the mistake of letting me catch them in the act of damaging my property. On the other hand, why wait?

That is my exact feelings about the likes of Fred Phelps, the so-called "Pastor" of the Westboro baptist Church." Among his antics, he has proposed a monument in Caspar Wyoming that declares that, on the night of his death, Matthew Shephard entered hell. Shephard,ofcourse, was the young gay man that was brtually tortured and left to die, strung up to a fence along a remote Wyoming highway. Accordding to Phelps, he met his demise while out cruising for "strange flesh" and meth. He admits Shephard may have repented during his last hours, though this is unlikely as, since he is gay, this means that God has "given him up". The monument Phelps prposes actually features an engraving of a photograph of Shephard, and he has sued the city of Caspar for what he considers his constituional right, and Christian duty, to erect the it in a public park.

Another sterling example of Phelps devotion to Chist came in the city of Lexington Kentucky, where he appearred to lead a protest at the baptism of two young children who had recently been adopted by a gay couple.

Lately, he has chosen to grace Kentuckly yet again with his presence, as he leads yet more protests, this time at the funeral of slain American soldiers of the Iraqi conflict. Why would he se fit to lead such a protest? Because accordding to him, America is doomed due to it's ongoing an ever increasing support and sanctioning of the gay lifestyle. He even asserts that this is the reason Ameica was attacked on 9/11.

What this has to do exactly with the soldiers whose funerals he proposes to picket is unclear to me, but it is plain he has little to no respect for the soldiers or their families. He has even referred to them, on his web-site(which you will find a link to in the title of this post), as worthless, no talent bums who are only in the military because they are unable to find a real,decent job. One such as his, I suppose, which seems to be based on making money through sensationalistic pandering to prejudice. Not that I can fault him for that, it would be pretty hard to otherwise live off the contributions from his lttle church in kansas, with less than 100 registered members.

Still, overeactions are never good, whether you shoot out your windows at witch haters, or pass special laws against public protests at private military funerals by the likes of Fred Phelps, as some states, including Kentucky, propose to do. Unecessary,unwaranted, and an unwise invitation to the old slippery slope. Seems to me that, if simple common decency is beyond Phelps perview, then already enacted laws in most states against harrassment should do just fine. A good class action lawsuit on behalf of the families involved might give ol' Fred pause, and maybe even some food for thought. After all, I know of no interpretation of the Constitution that gives anyone a right to protest a private function, such as a family funeral, whether or not conducted by the military.

No one has the right to intrude on a private individuals or families, pesonal,and very real grief, particularly over the death of a loved one. The family of Matthew Shephard deserves better, and so certainly do the families of our military personnel.

Chocolate Lovers Alert

By the merest of coincidences I was looking at my shitty little calendar, and noticed for the first time that today is the last day of a two day festival that began on Saturday- the Fairfax Virginia Chocolate Lovers Festival. I will include a link to the site, which you can click on and learn all about it. But who could not love a chocolate festival, especially one that included, as you might have hoped, different chocolate based recipes, and samples of same, from around the Fairfax region. Yes, it is called "A Taste Of Chocolate".

This is a fairly new festival, ongoing now for a little over a decade, so you can be excused if you were unaware of it before now. In time, it could conceivably grow to Mardi Gras poential. Well, maybe not. But who knows?

If you're from the immediate vicinity of Fairfax Virginia, you are probably already aware of the two day event, which features some free admissions, some paid events, and others which are probably mixed. You get in free to the "Taste Of Chocolate" event, for example, but I have an idea you would be well advised to bring your wallet.

The website I've included a link to will give you directions to Fairfax. Drive there if you can. Fly if you have to. It might be too late by the time you read this post, but at least you can start saving up for next years event. It can only be better every year. What the hell, this is CHOCOLATE we're talking about here. What better subject for a festival, or excuse to say to hell with this fucking diet?

Chocolate. It's a magical thing. Believe me, I know.

State Of The Union-Dismal

Of all the things Bush said in his State of The Union speech, one thing stood out as remarkable. No, I'm not talking about his obvious ploy to distance himself politically from the oil industry by calling on research to free us from our dependance on foreign energy sources, which by the way he none too cleverly blamed the American people for. I'm referring instead to one thing he proposed which was actually a good idea, and that is his idea to train more teachers in Math and Science. A good idea, and a vital one. It's not really all that bad,of course-yet! For the time being, it is true that there is qualified teachers in these areas that is at about the world average,cosidering our population and economy. Yet, there is an obvious trend toward growth in, particularly, China and India, in the fields of Math and Science, and it is a growth that threatens to outpace the U.S., which if it continues could leave us at a decided competitive disadvantage with these two nations.

Therefore, Bush's urgings for increased investment in these areas is to be applauded, and taken seriously.

Now, if only somebody would focus as much attention on the need for qualified teachers of history, and I mean real history, not the kind that tries to soothe the world's ruffled feathers by portraying America as the cause of most if not all the worlds current problems, but actual, true, history. In particular, I would love to see a focus on insuring that every student, by the time he or she graduates from high school,has a basic understanding of the U.S. Constitution and the rights entailed in that document-it's history and philosophy, with a special emphasis on the Bill of Rights, though by no means limited to that.

Any chance of that occurring anytime soon? Yeahhhh, right. Politicans just want Americans to be smart enough to compete in the worlds global economy in order to contribute to the tax base. They don't want us to be smart enough to know our rights, and to know when they've crossed the line. In other words, they don't want us to know that, by and large, we should vote all these clowns out of office, in both parties.

Some Vampires Never Learn

An update on Jonathon Sharkey is in order, as he has recently run afoul of the law. An Indiana deputy recognized both his face and his former wrestler name, "Rocky Flash" as the same Jonathon Sharkey who was wanted on two counts in Indiana, and so he was detained on both of these counts, one for stalking, and the other for unlawful flight. Seems that after posting bond on the first charge, he left Indiana. He explains the latter by explaining that he never signed an agreement to remain in the state of Indiana, so this should be considered null and void. As for the stalking charge, he intimates that this was a malicous charge brought agaisnt him by an ex-girlfriend, so should not be taken seriously.

As for his current girlfriend and partner, she has had her share of problems as well. Due to the resultant publicity of Jonathons campaign for Minnesotta Governor as an independant running on the "Vampires, Witches and Pagans Party", and due to her own admissions that she is a "vampire" she has been suspended from her job as a school bus driver in her school district in New Jersey.

She asserts that she doesnt understand what all the fuss is about. She is a vampire by choice, and engages in feeding with willing partners, and would never try to engage in such practices with any against their will. School officials in New Jersey have explained that she has not actually been fired from the school system. They merely think it might be a good idea to reassign her to a job that doesnt require her to be around children.

Old Vampires Never Die

Thanks to the magic of movies and television, they are thankfully immortal, from Nosferatu to all the incarnations of Dracula. Even Barnabas Collins will be with us forever, after Jonathon Frid has long given up the ghost. So of course the same must be true of Al Lewis, Grandpa of the 1960's sitcom, The Munsters. Thanks to the magic of TVLand, he will be with us always.

Many people are doubtless unaware that "Grandpa", as he was always affectionately known, was a politician as well, and in his later years even made a run for the office of Governor of New York. He was never a real factor in the race, more of a curiosity than anything, and his standing in the polls pretty much were a reflection of the final results, which is to say, dismal. Come to find out, Al Lewis was a staunch conservative, an old style Barry Goldwater style conservative, you might say. An economic as well as a social conservative.

I guess some people never do grow beyond their signature roles.

Betty Friedan And The Feminine Mystique

Betty Friedan is dead. The woman many consider the founder of modern feminism, she authored the book, "The Feminine Mystique", which started out at a modest run of 3000 copies, then suddenly mushroomed into an all time best seller-and started a movement. Back in those days, of course, it was all about womens rights to equal pay for equal jobs, and for that matter, for the right of women to get jobs, to get out of the house and out of their husbands shadows and find self-fulfillment. It wasn't all just about the symbolic act of burning bras. It was about the idea that man women still considered themselves to be viewed as second class citizens, and that they had the right to reclaim their destiny. Betty Friedan spearheaded that movement, and, to her further credit, later cautioned the feminine movement against taking on more radical elements in their philosophy, and so alienating themselves from the mainstream of American society.

And so, in honor of Betty, I will now put on my hat-and not tip it.

Sheehan-Still Mugging For The Cameras

And what an ugly mug it is. There has always been something that bothered me about Cindy Sheehan, and at first I think it had something to do with the fact that she has a little girls' voice and the body of an old, and ugly, woman. There was something incongrous about that, but I tried to ignore it. After all, she can hardly help that.

But as time went on, I saw this as symptomatic. Cindy Sheehan's life is itself an incongruity. The fact that she was removed from the Capitol prior to the President's State Of The Union speech in itself was unfortunate, as it would be interesting to see exactly what her actions would have been had she been allowed to remain.

After all, this is a woman who has exhibited such a far left leaning political philosophy she has not confined herself to merely speaking out against the Iraqi War, in which she lost her son Casey, but has branched out into other areas. She has even spoken out against the U.S. efforts in Afghanistan in criticism of the forcible removal of the Taliban and the ongoing struggle there to build the fledgling democracy in that country.

She seems intent on building and holding onto her following, to the extent of issuing challenges to any Democratic Party official who propounds any position that smacks of centrist tendencies. First it was Hillary Clinton who came under scrutiny. Now she has endeavored to put out feelers about a potential Democratic Primary run for a California U.S. Senate seat against the current incumbent, Dianne Feinstein. If by some miracle she wins that primary, of course, you can chalk that up as a sure fire Senate gain for the GOP the following November.

Now, I understand that some people have showed her a lot of slack due to the loss of her son. But it occurred to me, I've known people just like her, of her political persuasion, and I'm not so sure about her stated devastation. One woman in particular that I knew personally, who was of a similarly far left persuasion, politically, had a son who joined the U.S. military, over her stern objections. She has disowned the son, and has vowed to never speak to him again.

Is Sheehan of the same ilk, I wondered? Hard to say, but I definitely have my suspicions, and I have lately heard that, indeed, she and Casey had in fact argued about his previous enlistment, and re-enlstment, in the U.S. military. She was dead set against the Iraqi War, and was admant that he have no part in it. Then, there is the fact that of all her family, she seemingly stands alone in her Quixotic anti-American zeal. She and her husband even divorced over it, though he, like the rest of the family, has been relatively silent.

I think I finally saw what I needed to see to convince me that I may at least be in part well grounded in my suspicions. An old film showed her standing in front of a banner, unfurled, which featured a picture of her dead son, Casey. She stood before it, the cameras rolling, as a crowd gathered around her. She stood facing the portrait, her mouth apape, wide open as she held her hand up to it, her eyes wide, in an expression of horror, seeming to try to control her anquish, her heartbreak, her anger at her loss.

And that is when it occurred to me-she's mugging for the cameras. And I fear she's doing it yet, today, only more and more, people are paying less and less attention. Her recent trip to Venzuela to meet with Hugo Chavez received little coverage, for example. But she keeps trying, and will continue to do so, as long as she keeps getting encouragement to do so.

It's a sad spectacle indeed.

Coretta Scott King-An American Tragedy

If The Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. were alive today, I have no doubt one of the top items on his agenda would be the present day sorry state of American health care. It might even be the top priority, in that health care is one of the things that affects all Americans, but most especially the poor and dispossessed. Expenses, whether out of pocket or by way of health insurance, have risen to astronomical levels, and the quality of health care, at least for the poor, seems to be dropping exponentially. Today, a condition or operation that might have mandated a stay of two, three, or more days in the hospital have now become nearly a drive-through procedure, not due to increased efficiency of technological procedures, but due to the demands of a dictatorial HMO culture which dictate the type of care and duration of treatment a patient may receive, regardless of physician recommendations.

Now, Corretta Scott King, Martin Luther King's widow, is dead at the age of 78. She lies now in state at the Georgia State Capitol Rotunda, an honor that King himself was denied at his own death. Indeed, the widow King was the beneficiary of a legacy of respect and admiration, as she carried on his work to the best of his ability. About the only thing she evidently never received was decent health care.

A great deal of this may have been of her own doing, to be sure. She was the kind of woman who insisted on self sufficiency, to the point she refused to allow, in a later appearrance, a trusted family friend and confidante to aid her in walking down the steps, though she was in pain and in obvious need of assistance. Yet, she made it the distance on her own power.

One wonders if she could have received assistance in regards to her medical condition, an advanced case of ovarian cancer, but refused to seek it out. She would not be the type of person to seek help for her own needs when the needs of the poor were yet to be fulfilled.

Whatever the case, she ended up seeking medical help at a remote alternative health resort, more of a spa, in Mexico, where she died. Possibly, she sought out the care and comfort offerred there at a price which enabled her to continue to meet her other obligations. Unfortunately, while this may have brought her a degree of hope and contentment otherwise unavailiable to her, it may have also cost her her life. As it turns out, the spa in question was not licensed for the kind of medical care she received there, and the Mexican governemnt has shut down the facility.

The widow of the greatest civil rights leader possibly of all time, dead, due conceivably, at least in part, to lack of proper health care. Indeed, an irony that should focus more attention on the need to devote more resources into making quality and affordable health care a right for all mankind. A civil right.

Doctor Rumsfeld

Tom Toles is a pretty good cartoonist, ain't he? Me, my all time favorite would have to be Jim Borgmann, but Toles, yeah, he's good sometime. His latest depiction of Rumsfeld as a doctor in charge of his patient,symbolized by am American soldier, bandaged over practically the entirety of his body, minus the arms and legs he is bereft of, would seem to be right on the money. Funny, I can't remember what paper that first appearred in, of course, Toles is a syndicated cartoonist, so I guess it appearred in a bunch of them, but that doesn't really matter either. Thanks to Rumsfeld, everybody and their dog knows about the cartoon, or at least ten times the number of people who would ordinarily have been aware of it.

Of course, I guess the whole point of Rumsfelds ojection and rant about the cartoon was that it wasn't so much an insult to him. H wants tomake sure we all understand that this is, actually, an insult to American soldiers everywhere.

Riiiiggghhhtt, Rummy.

Ayatollah Sistani Says What?

The recent cartoon bouhaha in Europe regarding the publication in a Danish nwspaper of a political cartoon depicting the prophet Muhammed wearing a turban made of a bomb elicited quite a nasty response in the Muslim world,and things only got nastier when several European newspapers reprinted the offending item. By far the most visible displays were in Turkey, the West Bank in the Palestinean territory, and Indonesia. In Europe as well crowds of Muslim men demonstrated and chanted. One sign contained a slogan threatening Europe with imminent destruction. One cartoon carried on a banner by an Indonesian man depicted a likeness of the Danish ambassador held by an angry Muslim male while a large blade was crammed into his mouth, as blood gushed out of it. Indonesian Muslims in the meantime are demanding the Ambasador be expelled, a fate he would doubtless find preferable.

As diplomats and politicians in Europe stammer and stutter by way of apology and rationalization, the various European newspapers and adamant in standing up for their rights of freedom of expression and of the press.

As of late, even Bill Clinton has gotten into the act, echoing the sentiments of those who have compared the Danish newspaper cartoon to pre World War II nazi caricatures of Jews that appearred in German publications of the day.

In the midst of the madness, a relative voice of calm and reason has manifested, and in the most unlikely of places, in none other than the person of the Ayatollah Sistani, the Grand Ayatollah of Iraq. According to him, while the cartoon depictionof the Prophet Muhammed is reprehensible, Islamic fundamentalists are at least partially responsible for the negative views many in the world have of them.

This, although coming from someone many consider to be a "moderate" Muslim (he is actually quite conservative)is remarkable, and indeed,is welcome. Would that more Muslim clerics would take stands such as this, it would go a long way toward undoing the bitterness and anger which brews to a stronger stench every day, not only in Europe, but in the world at large.

Incidentally, the chief objection to the cartoon is not only due to it's derisive content, but in that it is forbidden to depict an image of the Prophet in any manner.

My take? The Muslims should get over themselves, and understand that if they are going to live in a free society, they are going to have to stand for the prospects being offended just like the rest of us. That, or leave. But to engage in violence, or even to threaten so, as in the case of one man who reminded the Europeans of the fate of Theo Van Gogh, the Dutch filmmaker who was murdered by a young Muslim thug (who was angry at a short film by Van Gogh which criticized Muslim treatment of women), is unnaceptable. Freedom of expression is something to which no one can be excluded, either from practising, or from being confronted with. Otherwise, it has no meaning.

A true faith can certainly survive a harsh tonque, or even a cruel caricature.

A Hair Cutting Spell

I've devised a ritual for prosperity, actually I did so quite some time ago, but I haven't used it lately. I shall do so this Sunday night, to coincide with the New Moon. It involves the simple act of ritual hair cutting. As I am by no means a barber or hair stylist on anything of a skilled or professional level, this takes some time, and caution. On the other hand, when I do take my time, I can do quite well at it.

The first thing that you need, of course, is a sharp pair of scissors. It goes without saying of course that you need a mirror. Narturally, you need to ritually empower these two items, and you should do so by candlelight.

Then, after you ritually empower your scissors and mirror, you attune with your deities, and visualize your magical goal. In this case, as I said, it is prosperity. As you begin cutting your hair, you visualize yourself cutting away all the burdensome and defeatist attitudes that has hindered your progress, that is keeping you bound, and down. As you do this, you cut away.

Make certain that you collect all of your cut hair, gathering it into a paper bag. You can even ritually empower the bag, as a means of containing all the negative energy you have determined to, by this act, rid yourself of. Later, after you have released the circle in which you perform this ritual, you can take this outside, and dispose of it in whatever manner you feel most comfortable. You can bury it, you can burn it, or you can simply scatter it to the winds, visualizing it being taken out of your life, a burden no longer.

Of course, you should never lose sight of your ultimate goal, and that is the more postive visualization of yourself as gaining in prosperity, which you begin your ritual with. As you cut, as you visualize the negative energies fading, visualize at the same time positive forces entering your life and enhancing your road to prosperity.

Soon, the ritual cutting of hair will be completed. Don't be completely horrified by what you see here. Or by what you are now about to read. You see, as you cut your hair, by gazing into the mirror, you are to do so-by candlelight, the same candlelight by which you earlier blessed your ritual items, your scissors, your mirror, etc.

Bear in mind you can always do the appropriate touch ups later by more sufficent light. In the meantime, enjoy the experiment. Who knows, you may discover that you have a heretofore unknown talent here, ready to be nourished and evolve.

Now, in the days that follow, you are to no longer focus on the banishing aspects, but to concentrate more on the positive aspects of gaining in prosperity, in fertility, or whatever it is you wish to gain in. Every morning, or night, or both, or whenever through the day it is more comfortable to do so, simply visualize yourself as gaining these attributes as your hair grows. Also, visualize from time to time your desired outcome, visualizing your hair as having grown back to a certain length in conjunction with this attainmnet. It goes without saying, of course, that your goals should be reasonable ones, otherwise you are simply setting yourself up for future failure. So be realistic, but at the same time, have faith in the prospects of the most positive outcomes that are possible.

You can also follow up these rituals with the application of a magical facial mask, or the creation of a hair tonic to stimulate the growth of your hair, along with the attainment of your magical and/or spiritual goals.

At any rate, give it a try, and don't be afraid of messing up your hair. I would even go so far as to say dont' be afraid to really let loose, to be as relaxed and ritually attunned with the deities as you can possibly be. After all, it is really defeating the purposes to try to attempt this ritual if you are going to be all hung up about how you are going to look afterwards. To this end, it might be adviseable to spend a fairly large amount of time, at least a day or two, in preparing yourself psychically for this, perhaps even going so far as to perform a beginning ritual to rid you of whatever anxieties you might have concerning the possible outcomes as regards your appearrance. Like I said, whatever damage you do can be easily repaired.

Well, that's about it for now, if you try this ritual, be sure and let me know how it goes. Good luck.

Special Announcement From A Temporary Temple

During the course of making some necessary adjustments and would be upgrades of this site, I inadverdantly made a discovery. Simply put, my time on my local ISP is limited to 200 hours a month. Would have been nice if I had known that beforehand, but I guess they skipped over that little incidental detail right about the time they was exaggerrating about all of their other great features. Forgive me if I feel unduly wronged, but I happen to be a person who believes in supporting the local businesses of the community in which I live at any given time. All I ask for in return is honesty, integrity, and commitment to quality service. And to be frank, up until now I have little to complain about in regards to my local ISP, Design And Service.

There was one little minor detail. Turns out that one of the main things that attracted me to the business, so many MBs of free web space, which came with free tech support, came also with a caveat. If you put anything on your own web-site that is offensive, they will remove it from their listings. It is unclear to me whether they will remove it, and you, permanently, but their wording sounded ominous, despite their encouragement that you should "show your creativity".

Also, they seem to have exaggerated the quality of the virus protection that came free with their service. After signing up, I was advised that it would be a good idea to purchase a years worth of extra protection from Norton Anti-Virus-just in case.

On top of that, the best free anti- virus program that comes with the ISP, a program known as Housecall, can't be used with my Firefox browser, which is something I refuse to do without. Incidentally, I heartily recommend Firefox to everbody, but that's by the way.

So what should I do? Well, I don't really know. I guess when my hours are renewed at the beginning of next month, I will go ahead and ride out the remainder of the time I've paid for, then cancel the service and get something else. I'm thinking Netscope, which my aunt seems to be happy with. However, I want something that has adequate virus protection, and is compatable with Firefox. So if anybody has any ideas, I am certainly all ears. Errr, all eyes, I mean.

In the meantime, until the first of February, at the very least, you will hear little or nothing from me. You see, I am posting this by way of public access. Yep, for the time being, my temporary temple is the local library. So I got to mind my p's and q's. You know how those librarians are. Sometimes I get frustrated and curse outloud. And when I see a woman stick a finger to her mouth, I get these ideas. So my time here is indeed limited.

Reverse Winds Of Change

George Bush looked perplexed yesterday in his press conference, although he seemed to have a pretty good grip on theimplications of the results of the Palestinian elections, in which the terrorist organization Hamas seems to have won in a virtual landslide. He put it down to overall Palestinian dissatisfaction with the ruling Fatah Party, and that groups reputation for corruption and inefficiancy.

"People want services". he explained, with a downcast expression. "People want health care."

Yes, and people love irony, I know I do, and as unintentional as this was, Bush seemed aware, uncomfortably so, of the irony of his statements.

He could afford to be ironic in this case, because although in this regard the Palestinian elections were a turning point, and seemed to point to a demand for more responsive government, in other respects these same elections point to a trend that seems to be worldwide.

In Canada, dissatisfaction with the liberal government there has resulted in the election of the conservative party. In Europe, dissatisfaction with the economic conditions and with certain aspects related to terrorism and especially in regards to immigration from Muslim countries has led a number of EU countries to reject the EU constitution. Even France, one of the charter founding nations of the EU movement, turned it down. Additionally, the latest reports out of Britain seem to indicate that the Tories, the conservative party once headed by former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, may be poised to retake the government by the time of the next elections there.

And of course it is grave cause for concern in most quarters that the experiment in imported democracy into Muslim countries, especially those of majority Arab populations, might be trending toward the election of conservative, religous based parties. Palestine is only the latest example to join the ranks of Iran and Iraq in choosing leaders who seem more interested in establishing an Islamic based rule by the Koran than in insuring true representative democracy.

Of course, the latest example in Gaza may be as much a case study of iner party unity than anything. The national elections in Palestine was close, originally, the majority enjoyed by hamas over Fatah being slightly reminiscent of the close election of George W. Bush over John Kerry. But a strange thing happenned on the way to the polls. A great lot of the people who voted for Fatah, the party founded by the late Yassir Arafat, decided inexplicabl to vote for Hamas in a great many ofthe various local elections. Wisely, Hamas ran typically only one candidate in each of these local elections, including the ones for the Palestinian Parliament. Fatah, meanwhile, more often than not fielded at times as many as three or four seperate candidates, in each of the sixty six precincts.

Faced with such a divided oppossition, Hamas easily won these elections, and by a large majority. Those people who voted for Fatah in the national elections, then turned right around and voted for hamas in the local elections, in effect cancelled out their own votes.

Now, Hamas is faced with the daunting task of trying to form a new government. Will they suceed? Bush has made it clear he will do no business with any entity that has in it's charter the stated goal of the destruction of the nation of Israel. He also wants present Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas to remain in power. So what's a country to do? It seems as though the people have decided.

Yet, suppossedly, the majority of the Palestinian people, want peace. They just didn't trust Fatah to cleanhouse, to rid itself of the corruption and cronysim, and ineficency, that has marked it's past ascendancy. The ball is now, it seems, in hamas's court.

It seems that the United States, is, therefore, once again leading the world, with this trend toward conservative governments and/or ideologies. In the case of the Muslim world, even the conservatives are probably not so pleased at this turn of events. Even the election of Hamid Kharzai in Afghanistan is problematic, insofar as little if anything has been done to eradicate the poppy fields, which has been a traditional mainstay of the Afghan economoy for decades. In fact, heroin production seems to be on the verge of a renaissance.

And in the meantime, the conservative movement here in the United States, which seems to have started the trend, may be in the beginning stages of it's death throes. It will not die a peaceful death, in fact, it might recover sufficiently to hold on to power for a few more years, if not decades to come. There is a lot at stake, a lot riding, on the conservatives here maintaining power. Certain factions in this country are determined to turn it into a feudal empire, and they will not give up easily. Nor do I expect this perverse ideology to ever be completey destroyed.
It may fade away for awhile, it will certainly undertake various reformist elements. But it won't go away for long.

The one area of the world that might be braced to buck this trend, incidentally, are those nations that are better poised to smell the stench of the American carcase. The nations of Central and South America, the most notable and obvious examples being those of Venezuela, , Bolivia, and possibly, soon, even Mexico. The socialist noise circulating in tha part of the world is deafening.

And to me, heartening. The world needs balance.

Between A Rock And Ophras Face

James Frye just can't buy a break these days, but I guess that on his last appearrance on Oprah Winfrey's show I imagine he thought even the devil deserved some sympathy. He seemed not to get any. To be fair, I only saw a few snippets of his appearrance on the show from another venue, I didn't actually see the show-nor am I lilely to ever sit through as much as five minutes of this schmaltz-so I am going solely by what has been reported. To be sure, cable news shows tend to concentrate on the more sensational aspects, so it is possible the appearrance of the author of "A Million Little Pieces" may have been more generally sympathetic than is generally portrayed. I doubt it though. For one thing, the cable news networks would have jumped at the chance to point out yet more writhing excuses from the daytime diva who first brought the inspirational story of James Frye, in the apparrent form of a memoir of the life of a drug addict, to the attention of her viewers and followers of her "Oprah's Book Club" .

When the web-site, "The Smoking Gun" first reported inconsistencies in Frye's account, it set off a firestorm of contoversy that led eventually to Frye's appearrance on CNN's The Larry King Show, where he stood by his account, though he did offer the caveat that he might have been confused on some details as, after all, a good portion of the story took place when he was high, probably wasted, and so his memory might have been faulty.

Yeah, like so faulty, in fact, that a few hours in the slammer somehow turned into three months. Must have been some powerful fucking drugs, Jimmy boy. So powerful, in fact, that the contact high prompted Oprah to call in to Kings show that night to voice her support for the author she had promoted , just another in a long line of authors she has taken under her wing in her persona of latter day DeMedici.

Unfortunately for all concerned, The Smoking Gun kept it's barrels blazing, and sensing fresh blood, so did the media in general. Soon, Frye had no choice but to come clean. Come to find out, he had originally submitted the manuscript of the book as a novel-a novel. But lo and behold, somewhere along the way, either from a publicist, agent, or possibly even the books publisher, he got the idea that the book read better, not as a novel, but as a memoir, a "true life" story of a substance abuser, a drug addict, and how he got his life together.

Assumming this is the truth, this is where my sympathy for Frye comes into play. Being a writer myself, I would find myself hard pressed to turn down an offer for publication that was dependant on my fabricating a false history of myself. I would like to think I would say no. But what if I was in dire sraits, was desperate for the money. What if I legitimately saw this as very possibly my one, my only chance, to become a published author. I'm not so sure I would turn it down,however nasty a taste it would leave in my mouth. To be sure, I would have come clean the minute the book hit the best seller lists, andcertainly before I would agree to appear on Oprah's show to promote it.

Errr, well, maybe not. An appearrance on Oprah's show is an almost sure fire guarantee of a best seller, or at least of achieving respectably good sells. See what I mean? One lie necessitates another, and soon you are living a life of lies, the spider suddenly transformed into the fly.

If it were indeed the publisher of Frye's book that put him in this impossible position, I hope the company, a division of Doubleday, does the right thing and apologizes for it's role in this sorry affair. As for Frye, I wish him well. Evidently, all this publicity has not hurt his books sales, if anything it has enhanced them. James Frye may well go down in history as the worlds most succesful grifter.

And Oprah Winfrey would be well advised from this point on to research any books authors claims before she recommends them, or vouches for their legitimacy.

Vampyre Politics

When Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura to the office of governor of the state on the Reform Party ticket, it sent shock waves throughout the political establishment, though it shouldn't have really been that great a surprise. Ventura was, after all, a well known and popular, though certainly controversial, figure in the sports entertainment world for years, had been a Navy Seal, and had even appearred in movies with Arnold Schwaraaeneger, most notably in "Predator", and also "The Running Man". In addition, people were tired of the same old stale prand of politics that people all over the country have become increasingly weary of throughout the years, though politicians never seem to get that message, a message that should be apparrent at the realization that, typically, fewer or little more than fifty per cent of the electorate bother to go to the polls.

Nobody took Ventura seriously , which was a mistake. Of course, he won handily. Unfortunately, he proved to be an even more controversial governor than a media figure, and his term in office was mired in the same petty politics such offices typically bring with it. He decline to run for re-election.

Jonathon Sharkey, who has now filed for the office of governor as an independant, may have a harder time making a case for his qualifications to run, to say nothing of his seriousness. But he has indeed filed for the office. He has even formed his own party, the VWP-Vampyres, Witches, and Pagans. If you think this post has just begun to get weird, read on. You may be right.

To be sure, he is running on a platform that has it's positive points. For one, he is definitely pro-farmer, and promises to give farmers credits and tax breaks to enable them to stay in business. He also is for a minimum amount of jail time for first time DUI and DWI offenders. He wants to start a state run medical program that will guarantee the indigent, unemployed, and disabled of free emergency medical care and prescriptions, while starting a state medical program for everyone else that provides basic and emergency medical care, hospitalization,and prescriptions, with no co-payments or deductibles.

He is determined to etablish a blacklist of any American business that moves to another country, resulting in the loss of American jobs.

He wants to guarantee every Minnesotan child a quality education from K through 12.

Sounds good, so far. Right? The problem is, Jonathon is a little too honest, and indeed points to this as evidence that he is not your garden variety poltiican. A quick perusal of his program makes it unnecessary to point this out.

He declares, for one thing, his intention to run for President of the United States in the year 2008. He explains that he will work harder as governor of Minnesota in those two years before he will, he promises, become President, than most governors do in eight years. Therefore, he asserts that his obvious future plans for the highest office in the land should give no Minnesottan pause when it comes to voting for him.

Well, maybe that won't. But the following I have no doubt will.

Within a very short few sentences into the homepage of his web-site, Jonathon Sharkey reveals himself to be "the sworn enemy of the Christian God". Now this would certainly give pause to a great many voters-even in Minnesotta-noy only to his qualifications for office, but as to his seriousness, if not his competence, despite the fact that he goes on to explain that he does not consider himself the enemy of the Christian followers of that same God. He declares that the constitution expresses the rights of any person to worship as they see fit, and he will respect all religions. He will, he promises, erect a monument in the State House, a table of wall placques that will list the basic tenets of all faiths, from the Ten Commandments to the Wiccan Rede.

While this is all well and good, even admirable, I seriously doubt the majority of Minesottans will be able to look past the declaration of enmity to what probably the majority consider the one true God. Incidentally, among the list of his followers he mentions, in addition to witches, vampyres, and pagans, he includes those he calls "demons".

But then comes the real show stopper. He goes on to avow that, if elected governor, he will "impale"-on the front lawn of the capital, no less-anyone convicted of the crimes of terrorism and drug dealing. He seems to think that no American jury anywhere would convict him of mrdering a terrrorist were he to do so, and he vows to defy the President, or any other government entity that tried to prevent him from doing this. This would occur, he promises, within ten days of their conviction of the crime.

He points to the history of the former Prince of Wallachia, Vlad Tepes Dracula-Vlad The Impaler-as his model. He points to examples of how crime, even minor theft, was practically non-existent during his reign, and of how the Muslem Turks of the invading Ottoman Empire retreated in horror when, upon reaching the banks of the Danube, they were greeted by the sight of ten thousand of the rotting corpses of their fellow countrymen, all impaled on stakes.

To make sure everyone gets the message as to his intentions, he even refers to himself as "Jonathon The Impaler". Impalement, of course, is a particularly grissly form of execution, more horrific even than crucifixion, whereby the condemned has a long wooden sharpened spearlike implement thrust through his torso, after which he is hoisted into the air. The bottom of the spear is then thrust into the ground and secured, as the hapless individual is left to writhe helplessly in the air, attached to the upper end of the stake, to slowly and agonizingly die.

Yeah, might work. On the other hand, I find it curious that he later goes on to say that he will hold prosecutors and judges responsible for any wrongful prosecution and/or conviction in the courts of an innocnt person. Well, if you are going to execute someone in this manner, especially within ten days of their conviction, this might be a good idea. He talks like he would carry out these executions himself. I know if i were to do this I would want to do everything in my power to ensure I got the right person.

It's easy to dismiss all this as ravings, or at best as a play for publicity, which could very well be the case. He, along with his devoted wife Kat, are the head of a coven of vampyres in the New Jersey area, and he has some sort of business interests in occult paraphernalia that I am just begining to sort out. And he has certainly made a name for himself in the Pagan/Wiccan/Vampyre communities, and with the Satanists as well, whom, I have been told, thoroughly despise him. Of course, the Satanists are to a great extent pretentous, and this all might be a case of jealousy, though a good deal of it may be legitimate concens as well over the potential of guilt by association. Sort of the "as if we didn't have enough to worry about" attitude.

He is controversial as well among Pagans and Wiccans, who are worried that he is putting out the wrong image of what Pagans and Wiccans are all about. Still, he seems to be aloof to their concerns. I imagine he figures that he isn't making things any worse for them, after all, as any biogotry felt toward them not only will not be exacerbated by him, but in that nothing they could do, however positive, is going to change any attitudes. He could well have a point there, at least as far as any short term attitude adjustments are concerned, and he is probably much too much the impaient type to concern himself with the long run.

I think it is great fun myself, and I am watching with interest to see just how this all turns out. Hel, I have even joined his and his wife's Yahoo Group, and she in turn has joined one of which I am a moderator. I am stopping short somewhat of endorsing him for office, of course, especially for President. On the other hand, he has some good ideas. For example, he proposes to pay for his educationand, medical, and farm programs by opening up a series of bids for the establishment of non-Indian land casinos, thirteen of them. The highest bidder gets the choicest lot. The monies collected from the bidding would pay for the programs, while the taxes collected from the gaming establishments profits would go toward cutting Minnesottans' state income taxes.

Great idea. Needs some tinkering. The money initially collected from bids will eventually run out, of course, but the need for medical care and education and farm programs will go on forever. Guess he never thought of that. But his thoughts are good, and his heart, in this case at least, is in the right place.

He calls himself a witch, and a vampyre, and a coven magistrate, a worshipper of Lucifer, and his magical name is Lord Ares. All of that is well and good with me, I just wish he would tone down his rhetoric, on the off chance it might not yet be too late. I also wish he would get himself a good editor, or take the time to edit himself. His grammar is atrocous on parts of his site, which I encourage you to read, in order to gain a totally acurrate perspective of this man and what he stands for. The link to his web-site is supplied in the post title.

Osama Ben Planning

Since the new Osama Ben Laden audio tape was recently unveiled, naturally it has caused some stir, and varying degrees of interpretation. It has been interesting comparing them. The Bush administration seems to be adamant in asserting that Osama is no longer a person of great overriding concern, though the far left fringes here in this country seem to think it is another attempt to use Ben Laden as a means of pushing their agenda through fear and manipulation.

Me, I look at it this way. If there are terrorists here in this country or elsewhere, waiting for instructions from their spiritual leader-they just might have gotten them. No, I'm not talking about secret, coded messages. I'm talking about the go-ahead order for whatever may have already been in the works.

I've always said that the fundamentalist Muslim terrorists could possibly be using astrology as a means of coordinating their attacks. This may sound strange, but the fact is that one of their main goals, in fact their main one, is to reestablish Arab ascendancy in the area of the Middle East, actually from Africa to Asia and points in between, all the way to way to the Balkans and Spain, and perhaps beyond. The old Caliphate that existed during the days of the Turkish based Ottoman Empire. They have a romanticized view of their history. To their way of thinking, they were the harbingers of a great cultural civilization, going back to the days even preceeding the Ottoman Empire, back all the way to Muhammeds Arab Empire that began in the 600's A.D.

This Empire flourished for a good while, and patronized the arts and sciences, in particular astronomy, mathematics, poetry-and astrology. True, it was more a hobby of the wealthy ruling elite of the civilization, but it still was held to as high esteem as any other of the arts and sciences. It seems only reasonable to surmise that those who would return to these days of imagined glory would not be adverse to including this long neglected art in their repertoire as well. Especially if they could make it serve a useful purpose-the coordination of terrorist attacks. But how exactly would they go about doing this?

To begin with, it would be helpful to understand that they really might have no other choice. The upper echelons of Al-Queda leadership have long had to remain underground, and have had to watch their backs even before the days of 9/11. They have found it necessary to plan their attacks well in advance. By doing so , they do away with the need of day to day operations and coordinations.

The use of astrology, then, might be compared to a synchronizing tactic. Instead of synchronizing their watches, they are instead synchronizing their plans according to a simple asrological chart. When the stars are in a certain position, it is time for the attack. Ben Ladens last message, therefore, may be comparable to an old war movie or spy movie plot, where the operatives are told by the commander, "gentlemen-synchronize your watches".

So what exactly would they in paticular be looking for as a guide? I personally believe it has something to do with the retrograde movement of the planet Mars. On the morning of 9/11, Mars had just returned to the spot in the Zodiac, in the sign of Capricorn, from which it had some months previously began it's retrograde motion. Retrograde motion, incidentally, is the illussion that a planet is moving backwards though the Zodiac. It really isn't, of course, it's an optical illussion brought about by the relative positions of the earth to the planet in question, which occurs on a regular basis. In the case of Mars, it's retrograde motion occurs once every two years and two months, or every 26 months, more or less. It will stay retrograde for about two months, moving about 16 degrees backwards through the astrological sign from which it started, afetr which it will slowly come to what appears to be a complete stop, called a "stationary", after which it will gradually began moving forward again. Eventually, in about two months or so, it will reach the spot in the Zodiac from which it began this motion. Thus it was on the morning of September 11th, 2001, when Mars had just reached the general area of the sign of Capricorn, the 1st degree, from which it started.

And, it's about to happen again. On February 5th, Mars will have returned to the part of the Zodiac, the 24th degree of Taurus, from which it started it's last retrograde motion the first of October of last year. What will they do? Where will they strike? I don' t have a clue, for that matter, I don't even know for sure that I'm right. The position of Mars on the morning of 9/11, 2001, might be nothing more than a bizarre coincidence.

But what if it's not? It's interesting to note that the day of February 5th of this year, is Super Bowl Sunday. A perfect day to strike, when vast numbers of Americans will be glued to the television, certain to quickly get word of the attack, be it there at the Super Bowl, or somewhere else not so heavily guarded. And, of course, I am assumming the Super Bowl will indeed be heavily guarded, major sporting events of that magnitude usually are nowadays.

On the other hand, people do tend to become complacent after awhile. Whatever, I just hope they make sure and check Micks' road crew and equipment.

Modern Drunkard

I found this great site and I thought I'd share it with my readers-I still can't bring myself to say all my readers, but whoever you are out there, I'm assumming at least a percentage ofyou might appreciate this. The name of it is Modern Drunkard Magazine, and it is rip roaring funny. It's quite brilliant at the same time, and what is more tothe point, it's very true. I promise it's worth a look, and if the link up in the title don't work, I'll fix it tomorrow. Moreover, I am probably going to add it as a permanent link.

That brings up an interesting though. Since I'm a Hellenic pagan, I've been wondering, why not put on a link in honor of all the gods and goddesses of ancient Greece, not so much about them but something that they themselves would appreciate, something that would speak to them.

Modern Drunkard, of course, would be in honor of one of my favorites, the god Dionysius. Unfortunately, while I like him, he doesn't seem to care for me all that much. Yeah, folks, you're reading it right here, an admission that-yours truly can't hold his liquor. I get drunk easy, and if I keep it up I get sick and throw up. Even if I don't get to that state, I have a hangover the next day.

Of course, it depends on what I'm drinking. Vodka and water is something I will never drink again, as long as I live. I'm a relatively peaceful, easygoing person, but a few shots of vodka and water and I'm ready and willing to fight anything that moves or breathes. One night while drinking this concoction, me and a friend went out on the town. Usually, Harold Ray was the one who liked to start the fights, he loved it. Me, I always gave him a wide berth. No, I didn't try to start a fight with him, that night. Because as he pretty quickly established a low profile, I've come to the understanding that he was probably giving me a wide berth that night. I was an insane person.

Now, vodka in all it's other forms don't effect me in this way. Even straight. That's because straight vodka tends to knock me squarely on my ass. As does just about everything else sraight, or mixed if I drink enough of it. Even beer. Ten cans of beer and I'm gone. Blacked out. One night, I drank this much beer, and was dancing all up and down the aisles of Corky's Bar in Cincinnati, urging the barmaid to dance with me and threatening just about everybody else that looked at me. The next morning I woke up with a hangover that lastd all day long. The next day I woke up and was still hungover. I went back to Corkys, where Judy, after giving me these strange looks, told me what I had done. I had forgotten the whole thing.

That was when i realized I had better lay off for a while, which I eventualy did, not too long afterwards. For awhile. I've come to realize since then, over time, that there was a great deal of meaning behind the old myth of Dionysius being torn apart by the Titans. He was suffering from a case of divine hangover. Or worse, he may have been sufferring from a very severe case of Olympian DT's. DT's, of course, are hallucinations that are nightmarish in quality, brought on by alcohol withdrawal. They can be so intense they can kill you, literally.

Now if a God were to suffer from that, would not his hallucinations take on an aspect of reality far beyond mortal comprehension? Something to think about. He was lucky, his father Zeus turned his yet beating heart into pomegranat wine and served it to Persephone, who gave birth to a resurreted Dionysius in the underworld, whereupon he joined her back on earth when she returned with the spring.

A perfect allegory for a spiritual death and rebirth/regeneration. Of course, being the God of Wine and divine madness, and spiritual ecstasy, he was duty bound it seems to spread his rites of divine drunkenness throughout the world.

Of course, you should drink repsonsibly, so I don't recomment going to extremes. But if you are there, bear it in mind. It's always darkest before the dawn. Yeah, I know that's a cliche', but remember, cliche's become cliche's mainly because they are so very very true.

So I recommend the following epxeriment. Tie one on about once a year. Hell, even Marshall Dillon said it was good for you. The way you'll feel the following day will give you all the impetus you need to drink responsibly the rest of the year, if at all. And you can experience the catharsis of spiritual rebirth through hangover without having to go through the living hell of delirium tremens.

In the meantime, when you drink, eat. It will help in the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream on those drinking nights when you want to drink responsibly and not have to suffer though a hangover the next day. The following items are good for this.

Cheese coneys, pizaa, tacos, chili, and buffalo wings. You might have some more ideas, and some of mine might sound sickening, it's all a matter of individual taste. But eat something. It will make the high more enjoyable, it will last longer (in part because you will tend not to drink as fast) and if you do have a hangover the next day it won't be near as bad. Oh yeah, and you're nowhere as near to start suddenly hurling all over your dance partner-or whatever partner you're doing what the fuck ever with.

Well,that's it for now. Enjoy the link. Like I said, if it don't work, I'll fix it tomorrow. It's been a long night. And before anybody asks me, no, I'm not drunk.

The Great Cable Robbery

Free! Free! Free At Last!

Of cable tv that is. Sure, I'm going to miss it. But the more I think about it, the less I think I will. It happens every year. If you are a Charter Cable subscriber, you will get a message sometime in either December or January, that goes something along the lines of this:

"Due to increasing expenses, in order to provide you with the quality service and features you, as a valued Charter customer, have come to expect, and deserve, we regret to announce that we must increase our rates in order to adjust for these increasing costs."

AS IF!!!!!!!!!!!!

What they never bother to point out is, well, the real fucking reasons they are raising the expenses, and following is what amounts to I feel a pretty comprehensive list of reasons.

1. They can, because nobody is going to do a damned thing about it.

2. They damned well want to, so they are damned well going to.

3. In a good many parts of the country, they are a monopoly. In my neck of the woods would be a prime example of this. Here, there is no competition, at least in the way of cable.

4. Okay, maybe rising costs are one reason. But five percent a year, every year?

5. Now, finally, we get to the real meat and potatoes of the issue, the real, honest to God reason that, with the exception of pure unadulterated greed (which, being the gentleman that I am, I decided not to mention. WHOOPs! Guess I gone and done it anyway). And what would that reason be?

Charter Cable, in addition to being a regional monopoly here in good old Mt. Vernon Kentucky, is a corporation. Following? Get it? Yes, a corporation, meaning there is a primary group of people that it has to answer to, first and foremost, over and above it's customers, over and above even the city council here and governing bodies other places, more even than the various regulatory agencies charged with overseeing the company and the industry of which it is a part.

And that group of people would, of course, be the stockholders of Charter Cable. And the only thing that is important to those stockholders, of course, are company profits. As long as they are happy, then the company stays stable. And doubtless the profits will continue to grow so long as fools like me continue to sit back and take it. As for me, no more. I for one have had enough.

In return for my ever increasing cable bill, what the hell do I get? Have you ever taken the time to really check out what your options are when you subscribe to expanded basic? Let's take a few examples, some of the better known cable channels. USA, TNT, TBS, are three that come to mind. Look at the schedule for any one of these channels on any given night.

CSI-Special Victims Unit (and all the other derivatives of the CSI brand).
Law And Order

What the fuck is this? Not just on one night, not just on one channel, but almost every night, on almost every channel, and not just at one time, but running throughout the entirety of "Prime Time", you will see a succession of these and other similar shows.

Sure, every now and then you will find a good movie here and there. If you see it scheduled for a time when you have something plannned, have no fear. It will be broadcast again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And-

Discovery and The Learning Channel are no better, in fact, they may be even worse. I dare you to sit through a night of that shit and tell me you've learned something new.

And as for the History Channel-don't even fucking go there. Sure, there is the occassional historical documentary that is worth watching. But since when in the fuck did shows about UFO sightings become qualified to be categorized as "history"? Not to belabor the point, but just what planet are these morons from?

FX is probably the best of a bad lot. It does have one prety good original show, called The Shield, about a crooked gang of cops headed by veteran actor Michael Chiklis. And USA as well, to be fair, has an original show called Monk that is pretty good, featuring Emmy winner actor Tony Shalhoub. And there are others, but even they start to get banal after so long, and even FX is starting to, in general, become not a lot better than the rest. They, too, are starting to become heavy handed on the tv reruns, are showing less movies. They are still probably the best of a bad lot, unortunately, that is becomming less and less a badge of honor.

Even MTV ain't worth a rats' ass anymore.

So there you have it. I am now simply a Basic Cable subscriber. In addition to all my local channels, I also get PBS, C-Span, and, to my surprise, CNN, and to my delight-ESPN. All this and will be saving twenty dollars a month as well. What more could I ask for?

Well, to start out with, I might ask for my city council to show a little backbone the next time the Charter Cable representatives apply for a rate increase. As of now, to my knowledge, only one man, Jackie Renner, has had the intestinal fortitude to question their need to raise rates. But he was the lone voice out of a group I seriously suspect might be the recipients of free cable.

I could also dream, that maybe I might lead the great cable television revolt. That's what it would take to change things, but I am not hopeful for the prospects of this. There are reasons, I suspect, that among the litany of channels Charter offers in it's expanded cable package, are four childrens/cartoon channels.

So, since I seriously doubt the availiable satellite outlets are or would be in the long run any better, (in fact, they are an aggravating group of nuisances with their daily telemarketing calls)
I'll just for the time being be content with basic cable.

I just wish more people would, they might be surprised how easy it is to get along without expanded cable, that is to say, those that haven't yet upgraded to HBO or Showtime. But with Basic, at least the old folks and the religously inclined get the Christian channels.

And, naturally, the Charter executives made damned sure the housewives stuck on basic still have access to the Home Shopping Network. The motherfuckers.