Friday, September 02, 2011

If A Bear Shits In The Woods-Hell You Might Know The Guy


When the US Fish and Wildlife Service isn't busy protecting foreign jobs at the expense of non-unionized American jobs, they can be found in almost any part of the country, doing due diligence to protect hapless wild animals from the malicious encroachment into their territories by predatory human beings.

Sometimes, unfortunately, since they can't be everywhere at once (for now), bad things happen. And when it does, it falls on their shoulders to try to make matters right in the pursuit of justice for our furry cousins.

Take the recent case in Idaho, where a man saw a female grizzly and two of her cubs on his property. Fearing for the safety of his children, and his livestock, the man killed the bear (it is also being reported by some that he also killed the cubs), at which point he immediately called Fish And Wildlife-who promptly arrested him and are in the process of potentially preparing charges against him.

His neighbors in Boundary County have been overwhelmingly supportive of the man, helping to raise money for his defense. So heavily attended was his arraignment in Couer D'Elene they had to move the hearing to a larger courtroom. If convicted, he could spend a year in prison and have to pay as much as a fifty thousand dollar fine.

All because he didn't want his children to end up like the following two hikers. Understandable. Imagine the image of this happening to one of your children in front of your eyes, seared into your brain.


Or hey, how's about this?


Now suppose this happens to you and you lose a loved one to a bear in this manner. How are you going to vote in the next election, Democrat or Republican? Yes, it is a political issue, and will remain so for as long as the Democrat Party is a wholly owned subsidiary of the radical environmental movement. I've posted previously on how this crew has run roughshod over Kentucky law, making it illegal to hunt bear only outside of one day out of the year (a time of year when you're highly unlikely to find any bears, seeing as how they hibernate during the winter), and further limiting the type of weapon that can be used. You know, just to make it fair to the bear. And make no mistake, you can't kill a bear in Kentucky either, even if it gets on your property. Hell, even if it tries to break into your house. That wouldn't be fair either, I guess.

If you ended up like this victim of an Alaskan polar bear, would you think it was fair?


Poor guy, I guess he shouldn't have run. He should have played dead. Or no, that's for grizzlies. For black bears you shout and make noise. For polar bears, I don't know, but I do know you don't run, any bear will outrun you. Carry bear pepper spray if out camping or hiking. That should really piss them off. If you're in your house, well, don't set out the trash. Just keep it piled up inside until garbage day. Above all, don't panic. After all, when a raging, hungry, or overprotective animal weighing anywhere from 400 to 800 pounds or more comes charging at you with the speed of a locomotive,roaring and snarling as he prepares to eat you alive, you have to stay calm.

And remember, like all other vicious wild animals, the Democrats need bears. Not just because of the money they rake in from the environmental movement, which is almost unarguably the main reason. They also need them to thin out the population of deers, elk, moose, etc., that so many red state folks like to cravenly hunt for food and sport. Otherwise, this hunting thing might catch on with more and more people who would willingly take up the slack caused by a diminishing of the bear population. To say nothing of the fact that a dearth of bears, wolves, cougars, etc., might result in cheaper meat due to relief from the burden and expense of having to protect livestock from predators, as well as the expense of when they fall prey to the beasts.

But more importantly perhaps, it will serve to keep humans out of those areas that need to remain pristine, untouched by human hands, except of course those tree-hugger freaks that know how to do it right.

And the fact that much of this would kill the tourism industry, to places like Yellowstone? Reduction in tourism dollars to red states is gravy to a Democrat. If the bears don't get you, a Democrat will. Luckily, there were enough witnesses to the Yellowstone mauling, in addition to surviving victims, to convince Fish And Wildlife to hunt and trap the offending bear, a mother who was teaching her cubs to hunt humans. See, Fish And Wildlife are looking out for our constitutional rights. They understand that a bear has no more right to hunt humans than a human has a right to hunt bear. On the other hand, if she had just mauled the guy to death without witnesses, they would have assumed she was just acting out of concern for her cubs and left her, and them, alone. Another lesson to take from all this. Don't go hiking alone. If it comes down to your word against the bears, the bears will get the benefit of the doubt every time.

So get with the program, and remember, if you ever come face to face with a bear-be calm, relaxed, don't run, and if he attacks, just go limp. If you have a gun, don't shoot. Remember, firearms are illegal in federal areas. Try to talk with Mr. Bear. Maybe if you sing to him? If he ends up picking you up in those big powerful jaws, just hang in there. He might just be trying to play with you, or give you a stern warning. Hopefully you won't end up like this idiot.

But if you do, console yourself with the fact that we are all just another part of the food chain. Try not to concentrate on the fact that the last evidence of your existence on earth might well be in the form of bear shit. And if it happens to your children, your wife, girlfriend, parents-what of it? After all, what are they? In reality, we are all just atoms, molecules, dust in the wind.

Besides, we can always pray for the day we will be reunited with our loved ones in a better, brighter, happier world.

As long as you don't do it in public, that is.