Sunday, December 26, 2010

Now, Let's See You Come Up With A Pick-Up Line That's More Original Than This!

Meet Mark Anthony Richardson, 21, of Oklahoma City. He has what one might call a very unique way of picking up women. Since we recently passed the Pagan Yule, in which we celebrate the rebirth of the Sun God in the form of a newborn baby, I thought this man's story was deserving of honorable mention in the annals of the most bizarre stories of the year.



Some people are capable of doing almost anything to get their rocks off, but this guy takes the prize. In another example of "reasons you shouldn't trust strangers you meet over the internet", Richardson put an ad on Craig' List, pretending he had an autistic son who had to be treated like an infant. He took baby formula, from a bottle, for example. But more importantly, he still wore diapers, and needed to be cleaned and changed.

Of course, nobody ever met the "father", because father and son were one and the same. He would just arrive at the house of his new employee, in a cab, in one case in dirty clothes and already needing to be changed, carrying a note from his "father", along with money for payment. In this one case it is noted that he also carried a backpack, which contained baby formula. And diapers!

He would take the baby formula straight up, with no problems or obvious signs of discomfort, but when he soiled himself and needed to be changed, he would resist, and run, necessitating his being chased, held down, and cleaned, an activity which served to sexually arouse him. At one point, he grabbed the breasts of the eighteen year old daughter of the woman who had been hired at one point to babysit him. The girl was told he didn't know what he was doing.

Well, eventually the authorities discovered that he knew exactly what he was doing, and charged him with one count of sexual assault, and seven counts of outraging public decency.

His mother claims he is mentally unbalanced and needs to be in a psychiatric ward instead of a prison.

I don't know about that, but he most definitely deserves an award. No word on whether or not he is a Wiccan, or plays World Of Warcraft.

H/T Belchspeak