Rasputins' Severed Cock-Good For What Ails You?

If you ever get a chance to visit Saint Petersuburg, Russia, you might want to pay a visit to the Museum of Erotica, where museum curator Igor Knazkin has on display, what are allegedly the severed genitals of the "mad monk" Rasputin.

Who needs viagra? According to Knazkin, who is also a urologist and sexologist, just looking at the organ, on display in a large jar filled with formaldehyde, will cure impotence and any other kind of sexual dysfunction.

Rasputin was assassinated in 1914 by a gang of Russian noblemen who feared and detested him and his influence over the Czars family, especially the Czarina. Rasputin was the only person who could halt the bleeding of the hemophiliac heir Alexei, presumably through some as yet unknown hypnotic influence. So intense was Rasputins powers it was said a note from him was enough to stop the childs bleeding, pointing to some form of post hypnotic suggestion as a likely component. Still, the Czarina, and the more devout Russian peasants, attributed this to Rasputins holiness.

As a former member of the streltzky, a small sect of Siberian cultists, Rasputins powers were indeed formidable. As an initiation, he allegedly had been obliged to stand outside in the Siberian winter overnight unclothed.

Yet, the stretzky were considered a heretical sect, and Rasputin was so despised and feared not only by the aristocraxy, but by the officials of the Rusian Orthodox Church, who considered him at best a fraud, and at worse, a Satanic influence.

Rasputins influence over Russian noblewomen was formidable as well, and though he was uncouth, and unkempt, rarely bathing, and a notorious drunk- with a preference for madeira over vodka- he seduced a great many Russian noblewomen, claiming that in order to achieve salvation they should experience sin in all it's degrading aspects. He was all too happy to show them both sides, and with a penis allegedly thriteen inches long, he had no problem doing so.

Doubtless Rasputin was too crafty to seduce the Czarina, or her daughters, and expressed devotion to the empress as a mother to him, and she seemed equally devoted to him. Therefore, Czar Nicholas tolerated him, at least, though he was not quite so captivated by him, yet appreciated his help to Alexei. In fact, his influence was such that he influenced cabinet appointments of people that were notoriously unqualified.

When he was finally murdered, a nobleman had pretended to arrange for Rasptuin to meet his wife, and the mad monk so went off unsuspectingly to his doom. He was fed candies and cakes which were laced with enough poison to kill several people-all to no avail. In desperation, Prince Yusopov shot him, then went to fetch his fellow conspirators. Once they arrived down in the basement to which Rasputin had been lured, their intended victim rose and assaulted them, then flew before they could react. However, they made it outside in time to shoot him a number of more times in the back before he could completley leave the estate, and then they beat him severely.

Afterwards, they carried him to the River Neva, whereupon, after tying his hands, they dumped him in. When his body was found in the frigid waters the next day, he had freed his hands and and raised one fist in what seemed to be a bizarre gesture of holy blessing. Upon being autopsied, it was discoered his lungs had been filled with water. Grigory Effemovich Rasputin, after being poisoned, shot, and bludgeoned, had finally died by drowning.

According to legend, they had also castrated him, and a maid later discovered his penis in the frozen park grounds. Somehow or another they made their way to the possession of some Russian aristocratic women, who practically worshipped the mutilated genitals as a kind of sacred phallic symbol. When Maria Rasputin, who was the mad monks daughter, heard of this, she demanded the artifact be handed over to her. She kept it in her possession until her death in 1977.

It was later determined to be not a severed penis at all, but in fact what was described as a "sea cucumber", a form of marine life. Yet, Knazkin was more than happy to pay 8000 dollars to a collector who had acquired the object. Since that time, it has held a place of honor in his museum.

There is no indication that any tests have ever been performed on the object which would put to rest once and for all the matter of it's true identity. If it were to turn out to be a penis, it might be possible to arrange an exhumation of Rasputins remains in order to do a DNA profile.

One interesting point is that, according to the autopsy, Rasputins genitals were intact. Now, if this were the exact wording of the autopsy, tha would be most curious. If this is merely inferred due to no mention being made, that would seem to put the matter to rest.

Of course, there is also the possibility that people are making the wrong assumtpion as to who in fact castrated Rasputin, if anybody actually did.

Another point that has been made is that previous owners of the "sacred relic" kept it inside a box, and that it was dried. Yet, now, it has been preserved in formaldehyde, and is exactly eleven inches long. The genuine article was said to have been thirteen inches, and in fact Rasputins wife had once remarked she didn't mind that her husband had been unfaithful to her, in that he had plenty to share. So long as she received her part, she had no qualms about what others received from him.

The two inches disparity has been explained as an effect of the preservative process. The woman in the picture above seems suitably impressed.