Bruno-Gay Archetype

Stereotypes become so due to their prevalence in society, and so they are a kind of archetype. Sasha Baron Cohen has utilized the stereotype of the flamboyantly gay archetype to great effect in Bruno, as can be clearly seen even from the trailers for the movie. Bruno takes humanities natural, seemingly ingrained homophobic fears of homosexuality and shoves it in all our faces. What Cohen and the producers of the movie seemingly failed to realize is that there is a corresponding fear and loathing on the part of the gay community that is every bit as visceral-the fear and loathing of societies fear and loathing, one that can produce self-esteem issues to the point of self-loathing.

As such, perhaps it is understandable that many gay activists groups such as GLAAD, and their supporters, and many others, don’t get the joke. It goes beyond that, though. There is some concern that Bruno might well cause a backlash towards the gay community, with a spokesman for GLAAD opining that he felt sorry for the many gay public school children who might now find themselves identified with the Cohen character to such an extent their peers tag them with the nickname Bruno.

Of course, before the advent of Bruno, you see, gay public school children never had to concern themselves with being assaulted, ridiculed, and humiliated, or hearing, “Hey faggot” shouted at them on their way to and from classes.

But, I digress.

Ironically, many of the funniest moments of the movie have little if anything to do with Bruno’s gay lifestyle. Much of it is more to do with the fact that Bruno is simply an ass. For example, in an interview segment featuring Paula Abdul, he convinces her to sit on the bare back of a groundskeeper, as there is no furniture in the newly acquired house/studio on which to sit. Abdul, though taken aback, obliges the ridiculous request, though she draws the line when Bruno offers her fresh sushi off the back of yet another of the workers. LaToya Jackson, who gives Bruno the cell phone number of brother Michael in a scene that was hurriedly cut from the film after Jackson’s death, also sits on the worker’s back and, amazingly, accepts the offer of sushi. (Note to self-I really, really, really want to meet LaToya Jackson).

The most amazing segment concerns a faux television interview show in which Bruno introduces his adopted African baby, an initiative of Bruno to mimic (and of Cohen to ridicule) the fad of celebrities adopting babies from poverty-stricken regions, seemingly as little more than accessories on the order of lap dogs while pretending to display their humanitarian concerns. He explains to the quickly outraged mainly African American audience that he has given the tyke, whom he acquired by trading an Ipod, the traditional African American name of OJ. The baby is with him, dressed in a shirt emblazoned with the word “Gayby”. Bruno assures the audience that if the child decides later in life to get a sex-change operation, he will support his decision one hundred percent. However, if the child turns out to be straight, he will disown him.

Much of the movie seems obviously staged, and revolves around Bruno’s decision to increase his potential for popularity and acceptance in America by trying to turn straight. In one such segment, a fundamentalist Christian minister promises to turn Bruno into a straight man. In another, Bruno enters a military boot camp. In yet another, he embarks on a camping trip with three Alabama good ol’ boys who insist that they have nothing in common with the girls from “Sex And The City”, contrary to Bruno’s observations around the campfire at night. Later, a stark naked Bruno accosts them inside their tent, to their utter horror and outrage.

We have to take such scenes with a grain of salt. After all, the camera crew could not have gone unnoticed. On the other hand, what reasons did Bruno give for their presence? It’s easy to assume such scenes were staged, but how were they staged? What did the victims really know, and when did they know it? Did they really think this was a gay Austrian fashion designer and recent immigrant to America who decided to try to “cure” his homosexuality and was filming a documentary of his quest-or were they actually in on the joke the entire time?

Bruno also accosted Ron Paul, who uttered a gay slur as he hurried away as quick as he could from the faux “interview” Bruno had pretended to seek with the elderly politician, after Bruno disrobed in front of him in an apparent attempt to seduce him.

The comedy of Sasha Baron Cohen is wholly dependent on such reactions from his victims, and that is what makes the character of Bruno as much an archetype as a stereotype. From the safety and security of the theater, we can appreciate the joke, and laugh at the visceral reactions of his victims, all the while knowing deep down we are laughing at ourselves, at our own fears and insecurities. It might even lead us to ponder them more thoughtfully, over time.

What are they based on? Is it possibly in part the fear of not being normal, or of our manhood and sexuality called into question, with all the humiliation that would imply? Is it possibly even an outgrowth of some ingrained, unconscious racial fear that we as individuals are not good enough to pass our heritage on to a succeeding generation? Might such individuals even be under some kind of divine curse? Is this perhaps what leads us as a society to despise homosexuals and the homosexual lifestyle?

It is perhaps because of our innate fears, whatever they are based on, that it is perhaps understandably not so funny to many gays.

Nevertheless, Sasha Baron Cohen does outrageous, in-your-face comedy of an evolved type of slapstick variety, albeit a slapstick with a very pointed end. He does not do “humor”. Had he made the film of a more sober, restrained type that concentrated on American’s reactions to, say for example, an outwardly gay man who merely wanted a normal degree of acceptance and respect, it would have been an entirely different type of movie. It might have been humorous, even funny in parts, but it would by its nature be a far more serious work, more poignant and even overtly depressing. One thing it would not be, could not be, is a comedy, at least and certainly not the kind designed to evoke sidesplitting, knee slapping, rolling in the aisles laughter.

That is precisely what kind of movie is Bruno. From the minute he comes to America after being fired from his Austrian talk show for wrecking a fashion show in Milan (he walked through the placed dressed in a Velcro suit and ended up making a shambles of the event), to the moment he arrived in America. Through all his subsequent misadventures, Bruno doesn’t just pronounce his openly gay lifestyle, he screams it. He doesn’t merely ask for or even demand acceptance. He arrogantly takes for granted that anything he wants is his for the asking-and the taking. When it starts to sink in that its not that easy, he is willing then to do whatever it takes to gain the fame and adoration he craves, even if that means changing his sexual orientation, which proves an impossible task. He is to what many believe to be the average straight American, a living nightmare of an in-your-face hedonistic and unapologetic gay man, and what such a creature might be if unrestrained by societal constraints-a creature without any core values, with no redeeming social qualities, a depraved individual beyond hope of redemption. He is to them a man who revels in his sickness and perversions.

The ending brings release, in the form of an Arkansas based professional wrestling event, at which Bruno attends and, in the ring, declares his heterosexuality to the cheers of the audience. Then, he is accosted by a plant in the audience, who happens to be his assistant throughout the entirety of the movie, a man with a starry-eyed crush on Bruno, yet whose attentions and affections have never been returned. Bruno challenges him to enter the ring, and when they do, the audience gets an eye full. Suffice it to say, the fur flies. So do a few folding chairs. Sasha Baron Cohen deserves credit if, for nothing else, unmitigated courage to the point of foolhardiness.

If you don’t mind the thought of Bruno swinging his dick like a lariat-or even if you do-among the many other outrageous antics, I strongly recommend the movie Bruno.

Rated ARRRRRGH

Bruno-Ins Or Da Aus

The title of this video is misleading. Sasha Baron Cohen as Bruno, from this old clip from The Ali G Show, doesn't actually meet Paris Hilton. He just makes some fashion designers/critics look about as stupid in reality as she is by reputation-and even more pretentious.



I'll have another post up later today or tomorrow with my thoughts on the Bruno phenomenon.

A Crime Against Human Decency

The desecration of Emmett Tills grave in Burr Oak Cemetery just outside of Chicago might be hard to understand. At first, I thought it was a matter of a casket exposed to fifty years of constantly changing soil temperature and, especially, rain. How good shape could it be in after so long? And, after all, they gave him a new casket when they dug the old one up in order to further an investigation into the crime of his murder in 1955, a despicable act of wanton savagery that helped ignite the Civil Rights movement.

Only there was more to the story than that. The manager of the cemetery, who replaced the old casket, promised to use it as the centerpiece of an Emmett Till memorial museum and even solicited donations to that effect. When the casket was found, however, in a state of disrepair in a storage building surrounded by garbage, and reportedly inhabited by opossum, it was yet another wound to the black community. Instead of a memorial to Till, his old casket was the centerpiece of a growing criminal investigation into the practice by a number of Burr Oak Cemetery employees, including the same manager, of digging up old graves and reselling the plots. In some cases, the bodies and caskets were smashed by heavy equipment in order to make room. In other cases, the bodies were removed and unceremoniously dumped, in what has to be the most despicable act of craven greed in quite some time. I think we can avoid the use of the term "alleged" here. The only remaining question is, how many bodies have been displaced and/or destroyed? The number at last count was three hundred. I bet it turns out to be more.

Emmett Till was just one of a number of notable figures from the African-American community buried at this cemetery just outside Chicago. Aside from the controversy with his casket, his grave had not been disturbed. Of course, these were black employees, and maybe the thoughts of acting in such a despicable fashion towards the remains of such an iconic figure was too much even for them. Possibly for that reason alone, until the investigation fifty years after his death required his exhumation, Emmett Till remained in his grave.

Not so in the case of many, many unknown others, and it is in fact yet unknown how many persons have been dug up and discarded or destroyed over the years. This has brought further grief and despair upon many of the deceased's surviving family members, who are now learning the hard way that respect for the dead lasts about as long as human memory-actually, it would seem in this case, not even that long. Naturally, there are calls now for further regulations of the funeral industry, something the industry has strongly opposed for years, and something which will, if enacted, merely be yet another cost passed on to the consumer-the family of the deceased, and/or his estate. And to what real effect? What could possibly be done to prevent such an atrocity from occurring in the future?

Once you are dead and gone, you are at the mercy of everyone, regardless of written wills and the wishes of the bereaved, and probably, when you get right down to it, despite any government regulation you could possibly conceive. You don't get a vote-except of course, this being Chicago, on election day.

Prince Michael II

Just wondering if I'm the only one who ever wondered if Prince Michael II, known as Blanket, who is the youngest child of Michael Jackson, and pictured at the bottom of the second photo (the first is of Jackson himself at roughly the same age), might be a clone of Jackson. Would that be so unusual, coming from Michael Jackson? It would certainly explain Jackson's mysterious rambling and contradictory answers concerning the child's mother. The lighter skin is possibly explainable by way of some sort of medical procedure, or even genetic manipulation.

It makes sense when you consider the possibility Jackson might have seen it as a chance to relive his childhood, and at the same time give himself all the things and experiences he never got to have as a child himself.

Not so far-fetched as it might seem. Just Michael being Michael.

The Old One-Two

While defense analysts had their attention focused on North Korea's missile tests, conducted over the Fourth of July weekend, the North Koreans seemed to have been engaged in a duel game of simultaneously conducting a "denial-of-service" attack on the Department of Defense-in addition to the Treasury Department, Secret Service, the White House, the New York Stock Exchange, and who knows where else both in the US and in South Korea. Though it has been called a "sophisticated" cyber-attack, it did no damage, nor did it compromise any security firewalls.

So how do you handle such a provocation? I would be tempted to knock out the North Korean power grid. That shouldn't be hard to do, frankly. This would also provide a good excuse to knock out their nuclear testing facilities, and anything else we can think of, just for good measure. I don't expect the Administration will go that route though. On the other hand, what else can they really do otherwise that they aren't already doing?

The scariest thing about this? The Defense Department didn't even know they were being attacked until they found out in the press. The only people here who knew it was going on was the Department of Homeland Security, who said nothing at the time to anybody.

You have to wonder exactly what the North Koreans were trying to accomplish. It looks to me like they were trying to disable both the South Koreans, and ourselves, probably with the aim of massing an invasion of the South. Of course, since there were no signs of troop movements near the border, at least not so far as we have been told, you have to wonder whether they planned to lob a few missiles at certain strategic targets in Seoul.

I look for Kim to bite the big one here really soon. The North Koreans will have to have something in the way of saving face after such an unmitigated embarrassment of a failure. Blaming Kim, after he is gone, would seem to be the best option. If I am right, there might be a power struggle once he is dead, a power struggle that might leave Kim's son holding the short end of the stick.

UPDATE-I don't really know what to make of this, but on NBC News with Brian Williams tonight, even though this was the lead story of the broadcast, you would think no one has any idea who was behind the attack. Sure, they mentioned once that the South Koreans suspected North Korea, but that was almost a "by-the-way", something not to be given a great deal, or even a little credence.

What is the reason for this? I don't mean to imply that NBC News is sympathetic to North Korea or to Kim Jung Il, but I do wonder if they, while obliged to report the attack, are loathe to say anything that might detract from what they would have us believe to be a major accomplishment of Obama, during his visit to the G8, in securing support for a strong stance against the Iranian nuclear program.

As incredible as it might seem, I think they might also be wanting to plant seeds in the minds of their viewers that this attack might well be a result of some kind of domestic terror group-probably a right-wing one.

I can't prove any of this, of course, but I find it remarkable that all of the sources I have read concerning this attack seem adamant that the most likely culprit-in fact, the seemingly most obvious and only suspect-is North Korea. Yet, they get barely a mention, and that almost in passing.

Make of it what you will.

UPDATE II-It seems a lot of people might have jumped the gun. According to this report from Reuters, the cyber-attack, while its too early to tell for sure whether North Korea was or was not involved, almost certainly did not originate from within the country, which does have a sophisticated cyber-spy network. According to many analysts, the Denial-of-service attack was too unsophisticated to come from North Korea, and points to the possibility of cyber-terrorists who might even, in fact, be unemployed IT professionals.

Okay, but I still think its pretty suspicious that the attacks were made on the US AND on South Korea simultaneously.

Michael Jackson-Human Nature

Probably my favorite Jackson song.

Michael Jackson-Off The Wall To Wall

With the media concentrating on coverage of the Michael Jackson Memorial in Los Angeles, from 1:00 pm on up through pretty much the rest of the day, it's only natural that a great many people might search out other sources of information and entertainment. If in doing so you arrive here, what should you see but-

Michael Jackson posts MUAHAHAHAHAHA

See, I'm following the same formula as the media-give the people what they want. Regardless of New York Representative Peter King's recent comments, this media coverage is not a matter of "political correctness", it's a matter of advertising dollars.

It's also a matter of promoting record sales. If CBS, for example, failed to provide wall-to-wall coverage of the day's festivities, the board of parent company Sony would very quickly fire the company's general manager and CEO and hire somebody that appreciated the bottom line, the bread and butter of big business.

Sony, and it's affiliates, CBS, CBS records, and Epic Records in particular, stands to make an arguably obscene profit off of the recent rebirth of interest in Jackson's music. But it is not just them. The others have to compete for those advertising dollars and the viewers that bring them. Any company that owns a large number of radio stations also stands to rake in advertising dollars through Jackson's new and old music, so prepare for a steady diet of it.

And in a sense, Jackson deserves it. So do his fans. No matter what you think of Jackson as a person, with all his strangeness, peccadilloes, warts, and flaws, no one can honestly deny his impact on popular culture, even if you are not particularly a fan of his music.

His impact on the music video business is especially undeniable. He made it, and he made it single-handedly. Without Michael Jackson, there would be no music video business and culture as we know it today, if at all.

True, he had a negative impact on the music business as well. He has given rise to swarms of imitators who would be lost on a stage if not surrounded by a cartel of dancers, who add little to nothing to a show in a musical sense. This has impacted ticket prices as well. These people are all probably well paid, and even if they are not highly paid, you have to clothe, house, transport and feed these people from show to show. Then there is the heightened dependence on special effects, increased numbers of band members, and orchestration, stage designers and choreographers.

As hard as it might be to swallow, I seem to remember a show once where, in the background, during a song, an acrobat was performing. It's really gotten ridiculous.

If you are going to complain about the influence of Michael Jackson, complain about that, please. He is the main reason you can't see a second rate or a once-great but now has-been band for under eighty dollars. And that's the cheap seats.

But for good or bad, his influence on music and popular culture in general is undeniable, and as such his passing is deserving of note, and yes, media coverage. Don't worry, though. It will go away eventually, and once it does, we can all go back to getting the same breaking and important news sensationalism, rumors, scandals, political spin-doctoring, rumors, worthless information, misinformation-and in some cases non-information-for which we have come to so heavily rely upon from our hard-working men and women of the American and world news media.

And McNair Makes Six

When I first heard the circumstances surrounding the deaths of former Tennessee Titans/Baltimore Ravens quarterback Steve McNair and his twenty-year old Iranian girlfriend Sahel Kazemi, the first thing that came to my mind was-honor killing. This was pretty much reinforced when I heard Sahel's family had disapproved of the relationship between her and McNair due to the "age" of McNair.

Then again, Middle-Eastern women who are the victims of honor killings tend not to look and dress like this.



I think its pretty cut-and-dried, a case of murder suicide. For one thing, Kazemi purchased a gun just two days before the deaths, though whether the gun used in the deaths of the two is yet to be made clear.

For another, McNair and wife Mechelle had recently arranged for the sale of their Nashville home, and intended to purchase another home together. Putting two and two together, it looks like Kazemi received notice that McNair was not planning on leaving his wife, which would suggest the relationship between her and McNair was going nowhere. It might have been more than she could process rationally, especially if McNair had led her to believe otherwise.

It could well be that the Cadillac Escalade the two of them had been pulled over in, Kazemi being then arrested for DUI, might have been intended as a parting gift. I have read reports, from family, friends, and co-workers (she was a waitress when McNair met her) that she was a free-spirited sort, easy-going by nature, who would never hurt a fly. And, I have read she was a pot-head who didn't seem to have a lot on the ball. No one is qualified to judge based on such scant knowledge, which in the case of family can hardly be considered objective.

One things for sure, this has definitely been a bloody and death filled last couple of weeks for celebrity figures. Robert McNamara just died too, by the way, so make that seven.

A Misfit Of Society

After a week-long robbery and murder spree that claimed five victims and left the rural South Carolina county of Gaffney on edge, he is dead. His name was Patrick Tracy Burris, and he was a 41 year-old recent parolee with a lengthy criminal record for burglary and assault, fresh from an eight-year stint at a North Carolina prison.

Though with five victims he qualifies as a multiple murderer, of course, he was not a serial killer, as he was falsely described, nor could you even call him a typical spree killer, as I wrongly believed him to be. He was simply a guy who thought he had to return to a life of crime to get by, and didn't want to go back to prison as a consequence of leaving witnesses behind to identify him. Of course, there may have been some rage involved, but it is noteworthy that, so far as has yet been revealed, he did not sexually assault any of the female victims (nor the males).

This was a small county in South Carolina, Gaffney, and interestingly enough, it had an earlier experience with a serial killer, a man named Lee Roy Martin, who was known as the Gaffney Strangler. His last victim was a fourteen year-old girl, and he died in prison, murdered by a fellow inmate. Like Burris, who was shot dead by police following his week-long murder spree, he claimed five victims.

So what can you say? Burris served his time, was released, and evidently should not have been, or should have had access to some kind of counseling, which I seriously doubt was the case. If we're going to put people with a violent criminal history back out into society, then we need to do a better job of making sure they can adjust. It's not just a matter of feel-good, politically correct social engineering, its just a matter of what's best for society in general. Either rehabilitate them, or keep them locked away. In worse case scenarios, involving such cases as mass or multiple murderers, serial rapist/killers and child rapists/killers, execute them.

But don't just put these people back out on the streets, fail to rehabilitate them, or make the attempt, and refuse to follow up on them, and then act surprised when it leads to tragedy.

And The Rockets Red Glare

North Korea went ahead with its latest round of missile tests over the Fourth of July weekend, defying the wishes of the UN and the US. How brave of them. NOT! What was it President Obama said again about reducing our nuclear armament? Or maybe he would like to eliminate them all together? Look, as scary as it admittedly is that a country ruled by a bunch of people that are for the most part certifiably insane may well have the capability to send nukes off towards Hawaii, and to sell them to places like Syria and Myanmar, at least it has the potential of putting the hiatus on any such crazy ideas as getting rid of our nukes, or even reducing them. Because frankly, if you think the US getting rid of their nukes would make these other fools and thugs give up theirs-or even think about doing so-you are out of your mind.

And frankly, it wouldn't matter to me if they would give them up.We should keep ours, and for that matter, we should build more. Believe me, when it comes to being the master dick of the world, size does indeed matter.

American Independence Day-Time For A Do-Over

For Americans to celebrate the Fourth of July is a little bit like a dickless man celebrating Valentine’s Day, isn’t it? Why continue the charade? People need to get a clue. This is not the same nation that broke free of the bonds of England two hundred thirty three years ago today. We have morphed from that into something the founders would not recognize. In the meantime, our President has voiced support for Honduran President Manuel Zelaya, who was ousted in a military supported coup, at the behest of the country’s Supreme Court, for trying to force through an unconstitutional referendum. His purpose would seem to be not only to win himself a second term as President of Honduras, but more ominously, to try to bring Honduras in line with the whims and dictates of the Bolivarian controlled Organization of American States, an entity which Obama seems disturbingly determined to cozy up to.

While the nation of Honduras, in which the ousted Zelaya only enjoyed twenty-five percent support, by the way, wishes to assert its independence and its own national sovereignty, the OAS seems determined to force it to reinstate Zelaya. While our nation celebrates it's independence, our President has joined with the OAS in condemning the coup which is aimed primarily at securing Honduran freedom, sovereignty, and independence.

That should be no surprise to anybody. We ourselves have long ago, gradually and in incremental stages, given up our own independence and national sovereignty in order to play the role of straw boss of the international community, in such organizations as NATO and the abomination known as the United Nations.

It is not only the Democrats who relish this role, nor is it only the left which strives to keep us bound to the dictates of the needs and in some cases the capricious whims of the international community. Republicans are just as offensive in this regard, although at least attempting to play the role of respect for American sovereignty. The only difference in the two parties in this regard is the form their betrayal of American independence takes. The Republicans favor NATO. The Democrats favor the UN. Neither party would dream of renouncing, leaving, or disbanding either one or the other.

As a result, Washington’s vision has been shot to hell. We are no longer a nation willing to trade with all nations while defending our national sovereignty from foreign encroachments and from all enemies, foreign and domestic. We are no longer a nation that will refuse to involve and entangle itself in foreign intrigues and disputes. We have taken on a role we were never meant to have, and it has caused us immeasurable pain, suffering, and grief.

It is time for the people to stand up and demand their independence back, and to demand that politicians adhere to those wishes, and to vote only for those that do so, in addition to only those who adhere to the Constitution as written and amended. (and in a great many cases, some of those amendments need to be given a closer inspection for the purposes of potentially making them go the way of the Eighteenth Amendment).

Failing that, there is only two other options. One, we become just another nation among nations, ruled by an elitist corps that gives lip-service to democracy while neglecting, to say the least, the Federalist principles which made our nation a truly unique nation, and was the basis for our initial, unparalleled success.

Or two, we urge our military to follow the example of the Honduran military and stage a coup, for the purpose of, in effect, enforcing the rule of law by way of the Constitution. Would that be democratic? No, but who cares. Democracy is not the most important thing. The most important thing-the only important thing, in fact-is adherence to the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. If our military did such a thing, it should be looked upon as an emergency measure, much like the emergency measures implemented by Lincoln in the course of the Civil War, or the actions taken by FDR during the height of the Great Depression-acts which were on their face arguably, blatantly unconstitutional, but which were nevertheless necessary, at least to a point, as temporary emergency measures.

Maybe then, we can eventually get back on the right track. If something like this doesn’t happen, or if our elected representatives don’t take matters into their own hands in the way of bringing this Republic back into line with the founder’s vision, it doesn’t matter anyway. We will have lost it all regardless.

Happy Fourth of July? Please explain what’s so happy about it. We have a government that conducts itself in an unconstitutional manner, and that military I would urge to conduct a coup? That's not likely to happen. They, too, have been transformed into pigs feeding at the Federal government trough. But a man can dream.

And Another One Bites The Dust

It's starting to look like Sarah Palin has timed the up-coming Independence Day weekend to coincide with her own declaration of independence from the Alaska governor's office, probably in an ill-advised attempt to concentrate solely on running for President on 2012.

I certainly understand her reasoning, and am sympathetic to an extent. Since she was chosen as McCain's running mate, she has been subjected to the most foul abuse ever heaped on a national political figure, and even her family have been targets.

More importantly, though, she has been subjected to a seemingly endless litany of frivolous lawsuits, obviously designed to drain her time, energy, and resources, and which in most cases probably warrant judicial sanctions. These aren't just frivolous lawsuits, they are in many cases malicious ones. By stepping down now, she can put an end to them.

And, she can also devote her resources to a presidential run. I fully expect to see her become a regular contributor on Fox News, and possibly other outlets as well, in addition to making a series of speeches and appearances. After all, don't forget that she started her public career as a television anchor woman. Maybe she figures she can repeat the formula that brought her initial success on the national stage.

I still think she might have acted too quickly. If she runs in 2012, and loses, that's it for her. And lose she well might. Three years is a lifetime in politics. Seven years is an eternity. A lot can change within that period of time. She might not even win the primaries in 2012. Even if she does win them, she could still lose the general election. By the time 2016 rolls around, she will be old news. She will just be some broad that was governor of Alaska for a short time a bunch of years ago.

I'm afraid by pulling this stunt, she might well have turned herself into the Fred Thompson of 2012. If she runs again, in 2016, she might well be that years John Edwards.

I'll still vote for her though, in either 2012 or 2016. I'm just afraid a whole lot of people aren't going to be inclined to vote for a two-year, long-ago governor of a sparsely populated state. Now if she remained the governor of said state, for a whole term, or two, and maintained her popularity and current level of success, and maybe even improved on it, while gradually increasing her level of national exposure and respect for her political and governing abilities and accomplishments-something that would take some time-she would remain a top-figure and contender.

Another thing that makes this such a damn disappointment to me is that this makes her look like just another weaselly politician out to grab the brass ring of national power, something I had tentatively hoped she had the capacity to rise above. I thought she was a special force in politics, a fresh persona so unlike the vast, swirling sea of mediocre misfits, who all laugh behind our backs and wink to their big-money contributors while cynically pretending to our faces to be our "public servants".

I still hold out some hope that she is that different kind of honest public servant, somebody who really is "of the people". Then again, that would make her only human after all, wouldn't it?

A Month Of Death And Destruction

Make of it what you will. Did I forget to mention that, when the Sun entered Capricorn, the exact second of the Winter Solstice (Yule), the Ascendant for any person born during that period would be Sagittarius? Or, more importantly, that said Ascendant would mark the character of the entire current year following that particular solstice? Now, we are in the astrological month of Cancer which, according to the year's Ascendant, is therefore in the Eight House of Sex, Death, and Changes. On top of that, the Sun, during the Summer Solstice, was in opposition to Pluto-the planet that rules the Eight House. Briefly, so was the Moon, when it came into conjunction with the Sun the following day. During this relatively brief period of time, a period of basically two weeks, we have seen (and in one case been bombarded by the news of) the deaths of-

Ed MacMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and Karl Malden; we have political turmoil in Iran, which everybody here is weighing in on without knowing jack shit about what the hell they're talking about, which means its 1979 all over again; a military coup in Honduras which threatens to draw large segments of South and Central America into a web of political uncertainty; a major Republican conservative governor has suffered a major blow, from which he will likely not recover, to his political career; while the US Congress has, almost behind closed doors, passed an environmentalist cap-and-trade boondoggle which might well wreck what is left of any potential for economic recovery.

Were you expecting a cheesy Fourth of July patriotic post? I'll have to give it some thought.

Was Michael Jackson A Psychic Vampire-From The Ancient Rites And Rants File

Since Michael Jackson died, this blog has received a ton of hits to the update to a post I originally entitled "Michael Jackson-Psychic Vampire", but none whatsoever to the original post, which I have decided to reproduce here. By the way, it happens to be the third post ever posted to this blog, from way back in June of 2005 (which in blogger terms seems like an eternity ago).

At the time, Michael Jackson was also very much in the news for an entirely different reason. He was awaiting trial on charges of child molestation, and in fact faced numerous counts, including one of giving alcohol to a minor. I predicted he would be acquitted on all charges but that one, and maybe one or two others. I was wrong, and flabbergasted when he was acquitted on all charges. The original post follows-

Since I like to dance out on a limb, and sometimes have been known to saw away while I am out there, I will go ahead and give my own prediction of the up-and-coming verdict in the Jackson case. I predict that jackson will be found guilty of one count of molestation, maybe two, but not guilty on all the other counts. He will probably also be found guilty of at least one count of giving alcohol to a minor, but only on one of the misdemeanor counts (probably the one witnessed by the airline stewardess). The felony count, which requires proof that he intended the alcohol consumption by the minor in question to be for sexual purposes, might seem obvious, and yet from a legal standpoint is probably a bit too nebulous to warrant a guilty verdict. Finally, and here is where I differ from the vast majority of pundits, I believe that as pertaining to the conspiracy charge of holding the family at the Neverland Ranch against their wills, scheming to remove them from the country, etc., I predict that this will be the one charge which will result in a hanged verdict.

Most people will probably be inclined to vote Not Guilty on this charge, but I am thinking there will probably be about three jury members who will not be swayed from a Guilty verdict on this charge as well. After all, just because a conspiracy is unsuccessful doesn't mean it was never put into motion. Also, the fact that the mother at least was allowed a little lee way-some might call it giving her enough rope to hang herself, in a manner of speaking-could be construed as a way of divining her exact intentions. They were obviously kept under close surveillance.

Now, it will be noted that I did not say whether I believed Jackson to be guilty of the charges, nor will I, save for the misdemeanor charge of giving alcohol to a minor, which is almost seemingly undeniable. Otherwise, I would not deign to speak with any certainty on the subject, certainly not on the molestation charges. However, guilty or not, one thing is certain. Mr. Jackson is-well, Mr. Jackson is different. And that is really the subject in chief of this post.

I have long maintained that Mr. Jackson is a kind of psychic vampire. This is of course not a vampire in the traditional supernatural sense of the word, but is instead a designation coined years ago to denote a type of individual who will by ingratiating him or herself with a victim by some triffling favor or flattery, establish a hold over the victim and thereby draining the victim of resources and energy, including mental and emotional energy. It seems to me that, the subject of sexual deviancies notwithstanding, Mr. Jackson fits the bill quite well in this regard. In fact, he seems to have become a vampire by way of being victimized by them. Now, it would seem that his life may have indeed come full circle, as he appears almost certainly destined to end by again being victimized by a family of grifters, psychic vampires in their own right.

One need only peruse Jackson's history to trace the origins of his condition. This is a man who, as a young child, was not permitted to have a childhood of his own, and, despite the manufacturd image of a close-knit, loving family, was subject to physical, mental, and emotional abuse by his father, a man driven to achieve success in the music industry by way of his children, a success he himself could not attain on his own merits. Michael's young life was forcibly devoted to hard work, training, and practice, and constant beratements toward the achievement of perfection in the craft that was foisted upon him.

Of course, as time went on, Michael went into puberty. Now, at this point, the young boy who was never allowed to be a child, was now becomming a young man who, it seems, was never allowed to grow up. By the time he was a fully grown adult, the psychic damage was probably irreversible. Most people would have totally disintegrated by the process that he had undertaken. But there was one thing that sustained him. His love for music, which he did indeed have a nearly incomparable talent for. As well as dancing, for which he was to all intents and purposes without peer in the world of pop and R&B. He was also a talented producer, and composer. And the fans. He had a way of reaching out to the fans, with his talent, and more, with his longing for acceptance, and for love.

This longing for acceptance and for love doubtless propeled him to make many unwise decisions, as regarding the multiple plastic surgeries, which have left him at last with the appearrance of a not very life like mannequin with a sound track. It was said at one time that, in order to maintain his popularity with his original fan base, he gargled periodically with bleach, in order to maintain the high falsaetto quality of his child-like vocals. He became white. He became Elizabeth Taylor. He became Dianna Ross. He became Elvis. But he never became Michael jackson. That was the tortured individual trapped in the body of a trained seal, but still yet the powerful overriding force who manipulated the other personnas like a maestro. It also manipulated the fan base. It craved the attention and the love of the children that he could never more than long to emulate, even when he himself was a child. In time, as he grew closer and closer to his fan base, and to the children that swooped into his orbit, he absorbed their childhood into himself. He drew on their energy, and he drained their essence unto himself. The money, time, and resources that he expended in the wake of this pursuit was to him a trivial matter. Like with all psychic vampires. What was so important about millions of dollars? After all, he was getting so much more in return. He was keeping his youth. He was Peter Pan. He was immortal. And, if it just so happenned that it might have in time escalated into the sexual domains of which he has been accussed, then he would have of course paid well for it. And he would have in the meantime been not only a sexual mentor to his young beloveds, but a spiritual mentor as well. After all, everybody has to grow up sooner or later, everybody has to have guidance, in all areas of life. Michael would be there to play the role. It was his calling.

Of course, as pertains to the sexual aspects, like I said, I can not be sure. I am only theorizing on the why's of the ifs. And to point out that, if it had not by now escalated to the point of sexual misdeeds, I have very little doubt that in time it would have. Whatever the caase, now that the stake has been all but driven through the heart of this psychic vampire-or at the very least, he has been exposed to the glaring light of a burning sun-it will be interesting to see if it might be possible to piece together the remants of this disintegrated personality. If there is anything that is left to piece together.

(End of original post)

I will probably have some more to say about Jackson at some later date. In the meantime, be sure to check out my previous post, posted in the immediate aftermath of Jackson demise, which asks Was Michael Jackson death faked?

Michael Jackson-Proof His Death Was Faked?

I was up early one morning, somewhere along 3:30 am, and so far as I know, that was the only time this segment has ever been aired at any time on CNN. But boy, is it a doozy. It involved a panel discussion of people, some of them tabloid journalists, others who had at one time or another had a personal or business relationship with the "King of Pop".

One of them in particular made the very compelling argument that Jackson, realizing his health was nowhere good enough to make good on his recent tour commitment, faked his death so that he could go into hiding, secure in the knowledge that his vastly increased record sales on word of his death would greatly eclipse what he could otherwise hope to achieve in his wildest dreams.

I know, it sounds like the standard crazed conspiracy theory, but it had added weight due to the fact that, according to this individual-

JACKSON HAD DISCUSSED THIS EXACT SAME PLAN WITH HIM JUST A LITTLE MORE THAN THREE WEEKS PRIOR TO HIS REPORTED DEATH!

Of course, the guy went on to point out that Jackson put this across in a way seemingly meant to convey casual conversation, but at the same time, it seemed to the man that Jackson had evidently put a whole lot of thought into this. Moreover, Jackson even made the comment that, were he to stage a comeback after a two or three years long absence, in the form of a "Thriller-Back From The Dead" tour, it would blow everybody away.

As if that were not enough, another man, a former Private Investigator who had once worked with Jackson, relayed that he had it on good authority that, not only had Jackson faked his death, but had actually gone into witness protection, after giving out information pertaining to his knowledge of several internet child pornography rings. He insisted that this made sense, and in fact was the only explanation as to how Jackson could pull this off, under seeming official cover.

It took a while, but I was lucky enough to find the CNN video in question. You watch it, and judge for yourself as to the potential legitimacy of the claims made therein. And believe me, there are more. What I have relayed here is the tip of the iceburg. For example, he may be in the process of undergoing a sex-change operation. One other that was related I am loathe to repeat in its entirety.

Suffice it to say that, if indeed Michael Jackson faked his death and went off into hiding, he may have done so in the company of a very special companion. I won't say anymore, except this-YBRR

Watch the video that follows. Prepare to be dumbfounded and shocked-

My Hero

Sometimes ordinary, everyday people are the bravest of heroes. Enjoy.



Happy Litha

The Holiday Viking-A Poem by Patrick Kelley

Tyr throws a tongue in the furnace
It burns as a housewarming gift for the Moon
She waits with impatience
Dark forces surround her
She looks to the sun for her sustenance

A violent image from a televised fiction
Channels visions of hope for
The foolish and sheepish
The holiday Viking
In his hot bath tub sprawling
Sings a song while he plays with his
Little model long ship

Wild visions he dreams
Of the conquest of maidens
Midst the casual dispatching of
Giants and trolls
Then embarks to the hive
For the camaraderie
The safety
And the courage of honey and blood
Drawn from pen pricks

Freya is not there
Never has been
Nor will be
She bristles at the thought
Of such vile indignation
She knows the brave god
In there will be found not
Having heard while in passing
Sacred names passing
From lips mixed with the vomit of
Profane degradation
She just keeps on passing
For a brief moment pausing
To laugh at their manhood
Their impudence
Her gold mesh scarves she will move on to hang
In the
Great Hall of Heroes
Where Tyr waits with his hounds
As for Hel she will leave it as a
Hangout for zeroes, for the knaves
And those small limp-dick ones

May The Force Be With You

I drew this card in reverse, which doesn't necessarily denote it's opposite, weakness. It can mean that, but it can also mean an inordinate and inappropriate amount of force, overpowering the target, yes, but more importantly, taking possession of the wielder. Think of someone going totally berserk and smashing up a bar because someone told an off-color joke, and you pretty much get the picture, albeit maybe somewhat of an extreme one.

It also fits the astrological alignments for this night and the following. Whatever one might think of the lack of aspects during the preceding Sabbat (Beltane) you would have to be struck by the totality of the alignments now. Every planet comes into play now, with the sole exception of Mercury, who plays the part of the wandering wayfarer here, far from home, yet close to our hearts and in our minds.

One would be hard-pressed to find so many important aspects to occur within such close proximity to such an important event, astrological and spiritually speaking, as a solstice/Sabbat.

We have the Sun in opposition to Pluto in Capricorn (and incidentally, at Yule, at the opposite side of the Zodiac, we had these two bodies in conjunction); we have the Sun also in a trine to a conjunction of Neptune and Jupiter in Aquarius; we have the Sun squared Uranus in Pisces.

And, to really put the icing on the cake, we have the Moon sharing all of these aspects with the Sun while speeding towards a conjunction with the Sun, a conjunction which will occur sometime tomorrow, in affect serving to extend the magic and spiritual power of this sacred night.

It is almost as an afterthought that we view what would ordinarily be the very important conjunction of Venus and Mars in Pisces, a conjunction which possesses the rarity of a trine to Saturn in Virgo. For the two lovers, patience will and in fact is already paying dividends.

Still, there are great cosmic forces at work, battles to be won, and mountains to climb.

With all this in mind, I wish everyone a blessed and happy Litha. Let's hope it is that, anyway.

A Short Film For Litha (And A Damn Good One)

This film Directed by Yuval Hen Edited by Tom Palliser and Was commissioned by J Smith Esquire for His Spring/Summer 09 collection.
The film will be shown at his fashion show in London and Barcelona.

A Very Selective Tool Indeed

Well, how else would you describe a carbon counter that measures carbon emissions in real time and in conjunction with the accumulative effects of emissions from the last two centuries, while excluding from its data base any reference to natural cyclical patterns, sunspots, El Nino, etc., in measuring their effects on Global Warming?

Download it if you must to your desktop of website, but don't be unduly surprised if the first evidence of pollution you discern isn't from your own computer.

I love how they openly admit to excluding other factors while excusing it on the grounds that the effects of these other factors are unknown, or minimal at best.

Mother Nature Slams The City Of Poe

I have no idea if this is a real picture or some kind of artsy-fartsy drawing. but I chose it anyway, for no other reason than, as bizarre as it looks, it is probably the happiest picture you will ever see anywhere of Edgar Allen Poe, who was born on January 19th, 200 years ago. This year is the bi-centennial of his birth. Look at how big his head is. You can almost see all of his strange, twisted ideas and characters swimming around inside there, knocking against the inside of his skull demanding release.

What better year than for a tornado to hit the city of his birth or where he lived most of his adult life. Though technically the tornado hit Baltimore County, a separate though adjoining area of the city of Baltimore, it is notable not so much because of Poe as it is due to the close proximity to the Summer Solstice.

I notice things like that, and sometimes, it makes my head hurt. I think too much, just like Poe. Come to think of it, I based my novel in Baltimore due mainly to it being his home town.

Here's to you, Poe. If you were alive you'd probably write some fucked up spell-binder about somebody being whisked off by the tornado, never to be seen again, and I have no doubt it would be somebody you were madly in love with.

Makes you wonder.

Hot Fun In The Summertime

You Should Do Something Special To Mark The Summer Solstice

I just don't see that a Scavenger hunt is particularly special, different or unusual. Every day is a "scavenger hunt" in Covington Kentucky. Why advertise it?

I'll admit, it is a good way to get some damn good day old pastrami.

Red River Gorge And Natual Bridge

I've been wanting to do a post about the Red River Gorge for some time. It's one of the most worthwhile environmentalist success stories of all time (arguably one of the very few). Slated to be razed to make way for a reservoir in the seventies, due to environmentalist protests it was made into a state park, which includes several prominent natural features, most notably Natural Bridge.

Previously, it was as wild as the wild west, with gambling, bootlegging, drugs, prostitution, and even a hippy commune at one point.

I'm glad I found this video. The accompanying music by itself would be worth the price of admission. I'll probably bore everyone to tears posting about this place and over places in Kentucky. Fair warning.

I'm Taking My #*&^@ Marbles Home

A new museum opening in Athens is designed expressly for the purpose of hastening the return to Greece of the Elgin Marbles, taken from Greece over two hundred years ago by Lord Elgin, who was then the British Ambassador to the Ottoman Empire.

The Brits don't want to give them up, and I can't say as I blame them. I'm not really sure which side I take on this. The Brits have taken care of the marbles, after all, while many of the pieces that remained in Greece have, as pointed out in the article linked, fallen victim to war and to natural disasters. Some are gone forever.

Still, they are, after all, a very important part of Greece's cultural and historical heritage.

It might be a lot easier to side with the Greeks if the leaders of their dominant religion-the Greek Orthodox Church-were not so easily inclined to make such statements as "monstrous errors of the past" in referencing the ancient pagan faiths and cults of their forefathers.

For the time being, I'll just side with the deities. Maybe they like it where they are just fine.

I'll Have One Great Shatan On A Stick

I'm not about to get all mushy and romanticize recent events in Iran, because frankly, I don't know what to think. Was it in reality a sham election? I have my doubts. Remember that all candidates, including Mousavi (himself a former student radical during the early days of the Islamic Revolution) had to be approved by the Ayatollahs, and you have to wonder, why should it matter?

Some point out the vote was counted too fast. Uhhm, I don't know, but I have a feeling there were plenty of vote-counters, and they were engaged throughout the entire day tabulating ballots. They didn't just start counting when the polls closed.

So I don't know. Maybe it means something. Maybe it means nothing. This is actually not the first time there have been street demonstrations against the mullahs. It's just the first time we have been made that blatantly aware of it.

In the meantime, what better way to experience the Persian culture than with their food? I wish them all the best, but in the meantime, I'm not about to rush over and paint my blog green. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Magical Food For A Magical Night

From the website All Recipes comes this recipe for Granny's Gingersnap Cookies.

Yes, I know this might be a better recipe for Yule, but bear in mind, tonight the sun is in opposition to Pluto, which is itself just a couple of degrees from the cusp of Capricorn, where it was in conjunction with the sun during Yule.

Besides, I just discovered just how good these things are. Admittedly, I use the store bought kind, which are fine, but if you really want to put some of your own magical energy into the creation of these beauties, you can't go wrong with this recipe.

I went through a whole bag one night, and found myself while sleeping dreaming that my bowels were moving. I then woke up to find they were in fact about to move. I made it to the bathroom just in the knick of time. Ginger is a purifying agent, and good for magical energy. Used magically, they are good for raising power and magical energy, for grounding following a ritual, and of course for purification purposes, quite appropriate for a situation in which the Sun is in opposition to Pluto, in fact.

Most of all, they are just damn good cookies, and even if purchased from a store in a little old-fashioned style brown paper bag, they are as close to a natural product as anything you can buy that way.

INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)
• 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon ground ginger
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup shortening
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1/4 cup dark molasses
• 1/3 cup cinnamon sugar
• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
• Sift the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt into a mixing bowl. Stir the mixture to blend evenly, and sift a second time into another bowl.
• Place the shortening into a mixing bowl and beat until creamy. Gradually beat in the white sugar. Beat in the egg, and dark molasses. Sift 1/3 of the flour mixture into the shortening mixture; stir to thoroughly blend. Sift in the remaining flour mixture, and mix together until a soft dough forms. Pinch off small amounts of dough and roll into 1 inch diameter balls between your hands. Roll each ball in cinnamon sugar, and place 2 inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet.
• Bake in preheated oven until the tops are rounded and slightly cracked, about 10 minutes. Cool cookies on a wire rack. Store in an air tight container.

Ways Your Basic Power Animal Of The Year Might Try To Attune With YOU

Now You, Too, Might See Russia From Your Front Porch

Well, in a manner of speaking, since the magnificent sunset you might soon see, depending on where you live, might well be due to the recent Volcanic eruptions from the Kiril Islands.

Just in time for the Solstice, hopefully, or at least close enough.

Magic In The Air

WTF?

This is an Alaska crime story, but the true culprits are the Supreme Court, and in what is a departure from the norm for me, I find myself siding with the courts liberal wing. In what part of the Constitution is it written (or not written, as the case seems to be) that a criminal doesn't have a right to any kind of reasonable defense, which would under my standards include DNA evidence, in this case which could exonerate him of the crime of rape for which he was perhaps unfairly convicted.

If the prosecution in a case seems to feel it has sufficient evidence to bring a case, then they should be obliged to provide for such evidence at state expense. If they do, then guess what? They might decide its not such a good case, in a good many cases.

Of course, as I am sure we are all aware, no prosecutor would dream of prosecuting an innocent man and witholding exculpatory evidence in the process.

Who-And What-Is James Wenneker Von Brunn

He walked straight into the Washington DC Holocaust Museum and proceeded to shoot to death a black security guard, whereupon he was himself fired upon by another guard and critically injured.

The left claims he is a conservative, a Republican, a George W. Bush supporter, etc. The Right claims, with not just a little dab of evidence, that he was

far from being a conservative. In fact, he was a socialist who believed that Karl Marx perverted the original socialist philosophy every bit as much as he believed the Apostle Paul perverted Roman's original pagan culture with Christianity, which he sees as just another Jewish plot.

Most disturbingly to me, some claim he is a Neo-Pagan, and perhaps he is in a sense. He would seem to fit right into the dogma adhered to by the Wotanists, a group of adherents of the Norse deities, who are distinct from the more moderate Asatru.

The question is, what did he have to gain, this eighty-eight year old man, by walking into the Museum and taking the life of one relatively insignificant individual. He pretty much threw away the rest of his life.

My guess he is knows he is nearing the end and wanted to make some kind of major contribution to his cause. He might even hold out hopes of being some kind of godfather figure within the growing white racialist prison population, many of whom are Wotanist, while calling themselves (falsely) Asatru.

He is basically just a sad, decrepit, possibly depressed old man who should be confined to a sanitarium for the rest of his natural life. There is no need in giving the racialists a martyr on a silver platter by executing him, since he is not going to live much longer anyway. However, it is also not advisable to put Von Brunn in a situation where he might actually profit from his despicable crime by becoming a leader and hero, and possibly teacher and example, amongst a radical prison population.

Things To Look Out For

Probably the most anticipated movie of this summer (at least the most anticipated that's really worth seeing) features Sasha Baron Cohen as Bruno, a gay Austrian fashion designer. Not everyone is in love with the idea. A good many Austrians, for example, seem to take offense at Bruno. Of course, the Austrians are hardly noted for their sense of humor.

In the following clip, Bruno interviews some skinheads. including a hard-core white power metal group who take exception to Bruno's question, an apparent suggestion, as to whether they might ever masturbate on stage.

Will The Wicker Man Light Up Broadway?

Evidently there was a great deal of dissatisfaction with the revamped movie version starring Nicholas Cage from a few years ago, so some hardy souls have embarked on the solemn mission of bringing The Wicker Man to the stage-as, as you might have guessed, a musical. The original movie from the nineteen seventies has a prominent place in the hearts of many, if not most, modern pagans, who viewed the modern re-telling of the tale of the British policeman investigating the disappearance of a young girl, and finding himself on an isolated island populated by a community of modern pagans, as something of a borderline abomination at best.

A good way to judge the initial success of the project that is this newest stage version might well be a look at the reaction to the play's closing scene. If modern pagans stand as a group and cheer when the beleaguered policeman is burnt as a living sacrifice for the islands annual fertility festival, you will then understand two things, which are, in order-

1.The play can be considered an unqualified success at least as a cult favorite.

2.They don't make broom closets too small for me to hide in.

Seeing as how you have to invest in the play in order to read the current reviews of the current London production, something tells me this isn't going to go over too well in the long term.

In the meantime, I have to ask-why a musical? Why not an opera? Then again, if either, why The Wicker Man? Why, oh why, not do something original?

Thanks again to The Wild Hunt

Heather Graham Ventures Out Of The Broom Closet

Heather Graham claims to be a witch, or goddess worshiper, or something. In what would seem to mark her as something of a newbie (i.e., extremely naive) to the craft, she has even taken credit for spells she conducted with some friends she seems to think at least in part helped to elect Barak Obama. Something tells me Heather will wish she'd stayed in the broom closet by the time another couple of years have passed. I know I spend at least half my time there now, but at one time, I too was blessed with that quirky sense of wonder and awe in my new found path that is the hallmark of nerdy modern Neo-Pagans everywhere. It really is something like a rebirth of sorts.

Then you grow up.

I'll be waiting for you in that closet, Heather.

Hat Tip: Jason at The Wild Hunt.

The Blowjob

Fun With Yahoo Answers

A "friend" decided to turn to Yahoo Answers for some advice, and hopefully at least one solution to a pressing problem "he" has been having, which follows-

If you can't find silver bullets can you kill a werewolf with a plane one if you shoot before he changes?

I have a old neighbor who lives right next to the woods and I hear a lot of weird noise at night from there like howls and what not. I know it sounds dumb but this is a scary guy he looks evil when he smiles and just stares walking by and I know I have heard things outside my window at night. Well, I am a good shot with a gun but how do I get to him before he changes? I know I can get in trouble but I don't want to wait until he kills somebody like for example me. I never use to believe in this stuff but one look at this guy will make a believer out of you.

There are only five answers so far, and as of now this is my personal favorite, from somebody with the user ID "Samurai Spirit".

You can torch the person until he is ash and dispose of the ashes within very long distances of each other or just dispose of the ashes with a type of acid, a strong acid that will dissolve the ashes completely you have to do this all before a full moon is due.

I guess that would solve the problem. Thank you Yahoo Answers.

There are only three days left. Come on over and join the madness.

Stalking David Letterman-By The Stench

I would rather take a beating than sit through a whole night of David Letterman, or any late night comedian, and I suspect most regular people feel the same. This of course leaves out college students, some homemakers whose households fall within a certain income bracket, and a relatively few upper income types who work nine-to-five, along with some segments of the chronically unemployed who all sit collectively and anxiously trying to find some humor, and an outlet for their angst, as Letterman delivers his top ten list. Like all late-night comedians, Letterman has his bad periods, times when he could use a ratings boost, and the recent trip of Sarah Palin to New York provided him just that opportunity.

It also provided Sarah Palin with an unexpected windfall-a cause, and an opportunity to deflect from the recent humiliating snub she was unfairly forced to endure from the controlling, moderate wing of the Republican Party when she attended a recent meeting. She has played this for all its worth. Which, I don't blame her in the least, but at the same time, I can't say I feel sorry for her, or for her husband, over Letterman's recent antics, such as his aforementioned top-ten list, which featured, among other things, the suggestion that Sarah Palin dressed like a slutty flight attendant. As crass and obscene as such a remark can rightly be considered, Palin is an adult, and she and her husband have been politically active long enough to know that this kind of thing just goes with the territory.

Her daughters, however, especially fourteen-year-old Willow, are a different story. On the first night in question, Letterman remarked that while Palin was watching the ball game at which she and her daughter were in attendance, her daughter (presumably Willow, who was the only daughter of Palin's who was in attendance with her at the game) was being knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.

On the next night, he stated that the hardest thing about Palin's trip was keeping her daughter away from disgraced former Governor Elliot Spencer, recently a known frequenter of prostitutes.

Palin has responded on a number of venues, like an angry female mother bear protecting her cubs-and rightly so. In the meantime, many have suggested that Letterman be fired, or forced to apologize, or fined by the FCC. One man, a jewelry salesman in Austin Texas, has taken it to the extent of personally writing a letter of protest to the FCC. Some in liberal Austin have threatened to boycott his business.

Still others are of the mind that Letterman should not only apologize to the Palins, but to his audience, which is really missing the whole point of this controversy. It is not Letterman who should apologize to this audience, it is his audience who should apologize on his behalf to not only the Palins, but to all the rest of us in America. After all, Letterman was merely doing what all comedians and entertainers do-playing up to the preconceived notions and prejudices of his audience, who for the most part despise Palin, and conservatives in general, and who delight in the type of misogynistic banality spewed by their icons towards those like Palin who dare to oppose their cherished beliefs, towards feminism, abortion, religion, gay rights, gun control, immigration reform, or any other issue you care to mention.

It is Letterman's audience which is precisely the reason people like Jonah Goldberg can claim, with a great deal of merit, that liberal, leftist politics is fascist at its core, as there is no room for debate, or for tolerance towards opposing viewpoints. Conservatives like Palin, and their families, are sluts, whores, neanderthals to be pitied at best, and hopefully driven from the public limelight with however much venom it takes to run them off.

For Letterman to apologize to this, his audience, would be like Hitler apologizing to the Wehrmacht-or to the Waffen SS. You see, it makes no sense unless you see it for what it is-a chance to deflect the blame away from where it really belongs, away from the people who empower and promote Letterman to begin with.

Jenn Q. Public, a recent addition to the blogroll here, makes this case very well by providing a link to the Huffington Post, where in response to a poster who criticized Letterman and defended the Palins, a large number of commenters defended Letterman and, as you might have guessed, criticized Palin. Some had the gall to suggest that she asked for it, in a manner of speaking, by dressing like a slut, for being such a staunch social conservative, and for having a child who actually had the misfortune to make the same mistake so many other unwed teenage girls do-have unprotected sex and get pregnant as a result. It is the kind of thing that shows liberal hypocrisy for all the world to see, loudly and oh too clearly. It also aptly demonstrates their true, unabashed views towards working class as well as those of the "lower class"-a term I am starting to believe they themselves coined-and for a reason.

Of course, you will never hear any apologies from the likes of this trash, and others, such as this Alaskan based blogger who somehow in his delusions of grandeur actually thinks Palin reads his blog. Its foolish on my part to even suggest the possibility of contrition from this type of scum, as even when people like Letterman offer their own brand of tepid, non-apologetic excuses, they always manage to temper it somehow. They sound more like kids who got caught with their hands in the cookie jar than an actual sincerely contrite individual who regrets the possibility of having offended or hurt an innocent party.

Well, she asked for it, after all. They all asked for it. Palin's youngest daughter, who is only about eight or nine years old, was lucky she did not accompany her mother to New York. She would probably be the butt of a joke revolving around chasing down strange men in cars offering favors in exchange for candy.

No, a good many people are due apologies. Fourteen year-old Willow Palin, and yes, the Palin family in general, for the intolerable "joke" aimed at their daughter.

Also, by the way, he owes an apology to Alex Rodriguez. Where is he in all this anyway? He should step up to the plate, so to speak. He could hit one out of the park here for sure. No need for steroids in this case. Letterman made a joke about him committing statutory rape on a fourteen year-old girl. If I were Letterman, I would not want to be within arms reach of this guy, particularly if he had his bat with him.

Letterman arguably owes an apology even to Elliot Spitzer. Now that's fucking sad.

Can anybody imagine how this gap-toothed piece of excrement would howl in outraged anger if someone made a personally insulting and inappropriate joke out of his past problems with a stalker, or called his new wife a money grubbing bitch?

Let's just go with that image.

The Devil's Excrement

According to a Venezuelan writer, oil is the devil's excrement. The Devil's Excrement is also the name of a blog, by a Venezuelan blogger who covers Venezuelan and other issues. Worth a look. He's no fan of Hugo.

North Korea-Not A Threat, Just A Promise

Al Gore should be like Ike. He should go to Korea. After all, as the founder and presumably the CEO of Current TV, he was the one responsible for the two female reporters sent to the area, and for their efforts, they have now been sentenced to twelve years of hard labor at a work camp.

What they and their bosses at Current TV didn't realize was that not quite everyone sees the human trafficking that allegedly takes place at the North-South Korean border as a problem. The poverty-stricken North Koreans see it as a solution to a more pressing problem-starvation. The human traffickers from the South see the problems of the North as an opportunity, and they obviously have a large customer base.

Gore has offered his services, to go to Korea and negotiate for the reporter's release, and his own devotees-as fanatical as any that Kim Il Sung ever had in his wildest dreams-now doubtless see this as an opportunity for their star to shine through the beloved personage who is the icon-in-chief of his own personality cult. One is led to wonder how planet earth could withstand the force of these two in the same region at the same time, let alone the same room. The foundations of the earth might well be rent asunder.

In the real world, beyond the fevered imaginations of Gore's worshipful followers, the world would be treated to the mirthful to some, shameful to others, spectacle of Gore all but prostrating himself before Kim in abject apology for the imposition and insult to his country in sending the two female reporters across the North Korean border, an act which might well have been an accidental one, or for that matter coerced.

It would be ironic if Gore's actions, and subsequent visit to the North, providing it ever comes about, results in a humiliating debacle in which the North is given much needed aid, keeps and expands their nuclear program, and in the meantime gains concessions from the South, and gets an apology to boot, in return for doing no more than releasing these two reporters while giving a stern admonition for it not to ever happen again. To further rub salt in the wound, they could even portray it as a good will gesture in the wake of Kim's soon coming departure from the world stage and replacement by his hand-picked successor, his youngest son.

All of that would actually be more than worth it, but only on one condition. I would insist that, in return for all of this, North Korea makes one other, and only one other, major concession. They should not only let the reporters go, they should keep Gore. I don't care what they do to him after they get him, but they should definitely keep him. Perhaps they should make him do propaganda films to help advance the communist cause. That would be a form of high comedy to many of us.

It might actually be to Gore's liking. When you think about it, if North Korea is really as backward as most people think it is, it probably has the exact sort of pristine environment Al Gore and his most devoted followers would appreciate. Seeing as how they seem determined to impose it on the rest of us, perhaps they should join their lord and master in what they would surely consider heaven on earth.

Help! My Girlfriend Is A Preganent Virgin

That's just one of the examples of the Worst And Saddest Questions sent to Yahoo Answers. From girls with ping pongs stuck up their pussies to steam coming out of one to one wondering whether one might close up if it is not used enough, to one wondering how to get the popular guy at school to get her pregnant, it just gets dumber and dumber.

If I had known my question would have gotten somehow included with this bunch of dumb ass questions, I would never have asked them if a Jedi Light Saber was capable of harming Superman.

Be that as it may, to the woman with the nineteen year old son-if you did catch him in the middle of a love-making session with his best male friend, then I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that, yes, he is probably gay.

Hat Tip: Popehat

A Bucket Of Blood Is No Place For Guns

Now I'm about as avid a gun-owner's advocate as anyone, and I am and always have been a steadfast supporter of the Second Amendment, but I find this latest bill out of Tennessee very troubling. It grants gun-owners the right to carry guns inside restaurants and-yep, BARS!

Fine, I agree that most bar patrons that would opt to carry a gun in a bar are probably responsible enough to not abuse the right, but what about the few who are not. What about the others who would never dream of taking a gun to a bar without this law, who suddenly find themselves very pissed off-and drunk.

And yeah, I know this sort of person would probably abuse his rights as a gun-owner with or without this legislation, but why add to the probability of disaster? Why make it easy on him. At least if he has to go home to get his gun, he is constrained by the time limits which might afford a cooling off period, and in most cases calm down enough to realize he doesn't want to go there. With this law, its right there in arms reach. There's no chance to think things over rationally, to cool off. It only takes a split second to do something stupid. Acting rational involves a more deliberative process, especially when alcohol is involved.

The worse thing about this bill, is that if it does lead to a disaster, and to a number of deaths and injuries, do you really think the gun-control advocates will stop at reforming this law alone? Of course not. They will take this as an opportunity to further reform the law to where all gun ownership in general will become ever more restrictive. And if they get the opportunity, and the public attitude and outcry against a sudden spurt of gun violence is intense enough, they will strike while the iron is hot, and quickly, out of a perceived feeling of public support.

It was a Democrat who sponsored this bill, which makes me wonder. They know of course, or should, that there are certain bars, a minority of them, which the average person should not patronize, with or without a gun. There is more than a fair chance that, while most people that go to these dives now don't carry guns, or even knives, the percentage of them that do will certainly rise. The problem is, there is no codicil in this law, at least none that I am aware, that does or legally can single out certain establishments for exclusion to this new law, which passed over the veto of the governor of Tennessee. As a result, the various town councils had better be on their toes and look toward the very real necessity that some of these places should be closed down and their liquor license suspended. Otherwise, I see nothing but trouble. While most bars will remain relatively trouble free, it is these few-call them what you will, gun and knife clubs, buckets of blood, etc.-where the violence might and probably will rise exponentially as a result of this new law.

Oh well, at least bar owners can opt to ban guns from their places of businesses if they see fit, which they certainly-and in the case of bars, damn sure understandably-have the right to do.

Freak Accidental Discoveries And Deaths

How in the hell did anybody ever discover that you could achieve orgasm through suffocation? I have an idea this came about years before anybody ever understood the biological function of the brain, and how it is dependent on a steady oxygen supply. For that matter, probably way before anybody had a clue what oxygen really was. I have an idea some of the old sex and fertility cults, such as Aphrodite's, would have made considerable use of this discovery. It might have even been used as a kind of baptismal rite, what with the obvious tie-ins of death, sex, and euphoria, probably in many cases accompanied by hallucinatory visions. Ages ago, the idle rich would have paid enormous sums for such a ritual initiation, for this rite of union with the Goddess herself.

I would imagine there were a few people who ended up much like Mr. David Carradine-dead. At some point upon the creeping advances of old age, and all the anxieties it brings, many might well have paid for this final service, the prospect of dying and permanently joining the entourage ofAphrodite, or some similar goddess.

The question would be, why would anybody today even start out doing something like this? Who out there wants to take the chance of ending up like Carradine, dead in a hotel closet, hung by a nylon cord (according to some accounts, a curtain draw-string), with a shoe-string tied around your genitals? I think I'll take a pass on that one.

On the other hand, this is evidently a form of bizarre sexual addiction. I guess once you've been "initiated" once, you find yourself hooked, in a bad way.

Still, the mystery persists in Carradine's case. One coroner declared that he died as a result of asphyxiation during masturbation. He was completely alone. The security cameras of the hotel in which he was staying in Bangkok, Thailand (he was there to film a movie), seems to verify this report. No one was noted entering or leaving Carradine's room, supposedly.

Yet, according to other reports, his hands were tied behind his back. Well, I suppose this is possible. He could have rigged the ropes in such a way as to back into them, inserting his hands through the loop as to maneuver it in such a way as to draw it closed. The question then becomes, why?

The answer might well be that Carradine was by all accounts something of a freak, with evidently little self-control in such matters as his sexual proclivities, or his prodigious spending habits. The same ex-wife who in documented court papers declared years ago that he engaged in sexual habits that were "potentially deadly", also claimed that he had a seemingly on-going incestuous relationship with an unnamed close family member, and refused to stop or seek therapy.

He was a freak, but he seems to have been a happy freak, albeit with somewhat of a violent nature. He once destroyed a hotel door in Canada, and according to the same ex-wife enjoyed the company of individuals of dubious character.

Now, the man that starred in three television series (Shane, Kung Fu, and Kung Fu-The Legend Continues)and over one hundred movies, including recently the Quentin Tarantino series Kill Bill, and who won numerous awards and nominations, a man who came from a an established acting family, and who was himself unarguably the most successful of the entire clan, is dead, for what seems like a pretty stupid reason.

He was seventy-two years old. I have an idea at least one person won a bundle on one of the Hollywood death pools.

He was without a doubt the most famous person known to have perished in this fashion. There was however at least one other, a former member of the band INXS, who is said to have died the same way.

Sexual addiction is a sad state of affairs. I would imagine its killed more than a few people, and certainly contributed to the demise of many. But to die alone, if he really was alone, through an act of what amounts to masturbation, assuming all the reports are accurate-that has got to be unique. Sad, but unique.

Clarification

I guess I haven't made myself clear. Although I am not about to lose one fucking second of sleep over it, I do not condone the murder of late-term abortion provider Doctor George Tiller. Nor, for that matter, am I necessarily either Pro-Abort or Anti-Abort. The plain simple fact of the matter is, I don't care. The issue of abortion, in and of itself, will influence my vote for better or worse every bit as much as the gay marriage issue. Which is to say, it will not influence it one iota.

That being said, if anyone should wish to see George Tiller dead, by all rights it should be those on the left. After all, Tiller proved himself, by his life work, the manifestation of every warning ever uttered by the far-right about what would happen if late-term abortion was legalized under certain conditions. If a woman's health was the deciding factor, there would be any number of abortion providers who would game the system on the grounds that slight depression fit into the category of health concerns. Enter George Tiller, who was a poster child for the concerns of so-called "Pro-Life" activists.

I stand by what I said in my earlier post about Tiller, and I do not apologize for the Sick Joke post I followed it up with. Nevertheless, since I have been viciously attacked as a "bottom-feeding scum" by some self-serving supposed pagan who thinks my religion should be a repository and a sanctum sanctorum for every piece of leftist garbage strewn and shat about the world, I did think it acceptable to offer the following clarification-

As a tried-and-true believer in the Federalist philosophy of government in America, I do not believe that abortion polices, whether pro or con, are the legitimate realm of the federal government. Such laws are for each individual state to decide, however they will. It is no more the place of the US federal government to decide such matters and impose them on the states, than it is the place of the US Federal government to impose its policies on, say, South Africa, or on any other country. It is not their legitimate business.

The Federalist philosophy to which I have become a steadfast subscriber holds that any law not expressly granted the Federal government in the US Constitution is and should remain the purview of the individual states to decide as they will, as exercised by the voters or through their elected state representatives. The right to terminate a life-which some hold to be sacred-is addressed nowhere in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights, and it is a real stretch to claim that this is a matter of some nebulous, so-called right to privacy-which by the way is also questionable at best.

In other words, the Constitution is silent on the issue, just like it is silent on the "right" of gay marriage-and, by the way, like it is also silent on the matter of the right to marry, period.

In other words, if the state of Kentucky decides to outlaw abortion, and the state of Ohio decides to legalize it, this bottom-feeding scum is fine with both decisions. If you live in Ohio and it offends your sensitivities that much, move to Kentucky or some other red state. If you live in Kentucky and want to be able to abort your unborn child should the necessity arise, move to Ohio.

Inconvenient? Too fucking bad. Unfair? Who says life is fucking fair? If you don't like it, you have the option of the Amendment Process by which you can change the Constitution to accommodate you. Good luck with that one.

Now, as for how I personally feel about the matter of abortion-not that it is in the least bit fucking relevant-its actually pretty simple. Like I was discussing with someone earlier, there are all kinds of reasons, good or bad, a woman might decide to get an abortion. They run the gamut from "if I don't do this I might die" to "if I don't do this I might look like crap in a bathing suit."

Now, here's the part where the feeble-minded need to pay very close attention. I don't care what your reason is.

The way I look at it, the more trivial your reason for butchering your unborn baby inside your or your woman's womb, the more likely you are to be a leftist, and to vote for and support leftist causes. Or worse even than an honest to God sincere and open leftist, you might be a liberal Democrat. Should your child live, and you do not abort him or her, the chances are considerably better than not that he or she too will, over time, come to vote for and support leftist causes and policies.

As such, you do not need my permission, I am sure, but you damn sure have my blessing to abort him or her, and thus save the world at least that much further unnecessary grief.

Have at it.

Sick Joke Of The Day

What did the late-term fetus say when he heard the news of the murder of abortion provider Doctor George Tiller?

"Well, I can't say it tears me all to pieces."