Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Pagan Temple Tentatively Endorses Michelle Bachmann

I think its funny how most Republicans are going way out of their way to nominate anybody but Mitt Romney. They started out with Michelle Bachmann, but when Rick Perry got in the race practically the same damn day Michelle won the Ames Iowa Straw Poll, people gravitated to the Texas governor who admittedly looks great on paper. We've been stirring the ingredients in this pot ever since.

We gave Michelle an all-too brief look, had a flubbedy-dubbedy conversation about Rick Perry, just recently got smashed up in the Cain Train derailment, and now we're all wanting to sit on the love seat by Uncle Newt, still wet with the Global Warming induced bodily juices of Nancy Pelosi. Through it all we sat and listened and watched as The Donald demanded birth certificates, while Tim Pawlenty whined about not being liked enough and while Chris Christy whined about being like too much. We watched with mouths agape as Mitch Daniels declared that no bitter clingers need apply, and Paul Ryan said, "Me? Hell no" (in so many words). We watched in amazement as the MSM told us if we were really smart we'd nominate Jon Huntsman, and we wondered when Rick Santorum would bring out the chain saw.

And still there is flappably unflappable, flippety floppety Mitt, holding a steady and firm hold on 24 percent of the GOP electorate, poised to take it all, while the Crazy Uncle of the Tea Party, Ron Paul, keeps managing to escape from the attic.

But we decided against Michelle Bachmann early. Why? Maybe she's too religious, or too conservative. Maybe she's a little nutty. After all, she mixed up the birthplace of John Wayne Gacy as the birthplace of John Wayne, and accepted as truth an anecdote from a supporter who claimed her daughter suffered brain damage as a result of a forced Gardasil vaccination. Maybe they're afraid Marcus her husband (with whom she's had not one or two show children, but FUCKING FIVE) is a closet homosexual, or maybe they resent his insistence that homosexuality can be cured, to the extent he runs a business based on that proposition, that a man or a woman can be what the hell they want to be.

Whatever the reason-and granted, there is some validity to some of them-there can be no doubt that Michelle Bachmann is the one candidate who has stood the test of time. She has not wavered, has stood strong, and continued the good fight.

Because of this, and because I think she's the candidate most likely to reach across the aisle and rip Obama's smug fucking face off in a debate, I support Michelle Bachmann for the GOP nomination. Note I said this is tentative. Nothing should ever be written in stone.

But this lady is, despite what the leftist smear merchants and their "Republican" and "conservative" fellow travelers say, far from merely another far right wing ideologue and wingnut. She knows her stuff, as demonstrated in the below video.