Sunday, February 15, 2009

Octopussy

The world has found it's latest punching bag in the person of Nadya Suleman, a woman on whom it feels justified in unleashing it's wrath towards the failed economy. First, this unemployed divorcee who lives with her mother in a small house barely big enough for the two of them has herself impregnated with the fertilized eggs of six children. One of these children turns out to be autistic. Not evidently satisfied with that, she has herself impregnated again with six more embryos by the same

fertility clinic, which is now under investigation. with six other embryos. Two of them which divide, resulting in two sets of twins, for a total of eight babies, and a grand total of fourteen.

The thought of this woman acting in such an irresponsible manner, apparently drawing at least some level of taxpayer-funded public assistance, is enough to raise the ire of the most tolerant among us. Yet, Suleman seems determined to find as many ways possible to offend.

She claimed that she would receive assistance from her church, which doubtless came as a surprise to many of the church's regular donors, who probably had other ideas. The church publicly denied her claims, probably after a hurried meeting of church elders decided this was not a good way to increase contributions from the flock.

She started a website complete with pictures and a donation button, but then was photographed shopping for video games.

Not only has she received death threats, so has the agency that represented her.

The public relations group that has represented octuplets mother Nadya Suleman is stepping down because of death threats, its president said Saturday.

Joann Killeen also said the mother now has an agent: Wes Yoder, the same man who arranged book and music deals for the McCaughey septuplets a decade ago and publicity for controversial pastor Rick Warren.

The Killeen Furtney Group was ending its free representation after receiving at least 100 graphic e-mailed threats and swarms of nasty voicemails that went to the Los Angeles agency and even to some of its other clients, Killeen said.

Some messages threatened Suleman but others were aimed at her spokespeople.


Suleman has probably at least entertained the idea of selling the movie rights to her story. The only problem with that idea is her so-called story is so well known by now it is practically in the public domain by default. Why should anyone pay her for the rights to a story under her conditions. I don't think she would care much for the most likely version of her life's story, which would be the one any studio could produce without paying her a dime. It would also be the only one the public would buy.

The jaded public isn't buying much these days. They are distressed, angry, and worried about the future. One of the few products that has made a profit over the last few months? Condoms. They especially

sold well over Valentine's Day weekend, and little wonder. Some people complained about the use of the condom display, in the shape of a heart, at the one store in question, saying it sent a bad message to the kids. Most people, on the other hand, would assert that kids are just the point.



Nobody with a brain in their head wants kids. Many of them wish they had thought it through or exercised a little self-control when they had the ones they did. There is yet another little girl missing in Florida as I write this who has probably been kidnapped and sold, if not raped and murdered, or both. I am making no inference as to the reason for this in her case, but I will say this much-she will be joined by more strangely missing children. If the economy stays bad for over a year, there will probably be enough of them to form their own state.

Everybody wants to fuck, more than usual in fact. What else is there to do? But they are being far more cautious than usual about it. You can expect not only an increase in condom sales, but a corresponding uptick in the number of abortions over the coming months, and since there is now evidently a relaxing of the old welfare reform rules of the nineties, with the passage of the stimulus bill, you can expect the anti-abortion movement to become more irrelevant than possibly ever before. It will at best go back to being the fringe movement that it was in the seventies and eighties, when most conservative Christians probably secretly wished that the welfare drawing, generally Democratic voting, mostly single mothers would have at least one abortion a year.

Nadya Suleman is a poster child for welfare reform and the Pro-Choice movement, and may in fact currently be one of the best friends both ever had. Both movements will grow in popularity over the next few years. It is only when times are generally good that most Pro-Life people feel they and the world can afford the price of their convictions. What ones remain devoted to the cause will be the ones most likely to be seen standing in sandwich signs that announce the coming end of the world, which would seem all the more a conflict of priorities to the sane amongst us, who can't help but perceive a certain lack of irony, if not integrity.

In the meantime, remember-love is never having to say "Hey, how do I know it's mine?"