Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Justin Bieber Despondent, Suicidal Over Selena Gomez Abortion Plans


That's right, Selena Gomez is as of this writing just under three months pregnant with with Justin Bieber's love child. No word on whether its a boy or a girl, but Gomez is determined to end the pregnancy sometime within the next two weeks. The Bieber is beside himself, and even intimated a vague threat to commit suicide if Gomez goes through with her plans.

It certainly hasn't helped matters that legions of his teen and tween fans have actually threatened to kill Gomez. Not because she's pregnant with his child, which is not yet widely known, but because the two have apparently been dating, and were photographed kissing recently, despite the fact that Gomez at eighteen is legally an adult, while Bieber is still technically a minor. Following is a sampling of the hate hurled via Twitter at Gomez, courtesy of TMZ-

- roses are red, violets are blue, @selenagomez if you'll break @justinbieber's heart I'm gonna kill you :3

-- @selenagomez I'll kill you I swear on GOD!!!!

-- @selenagomez If you are the Girlfriend of Justin I will Kill you I HATE YOU :@ !!!

-- @selenagomez whore cancer whore..like i'mm kill myself cuz i saw you and Justin kissing well thankyou Selena thankyou now i'm killing myself

-- @selenagomez stay away from Justin pedophile, retard wait i'm gonna kill ya in the night underneath your smelly bed

Bieber was even more agitated at this latest development.

"Who does that?" he mused openly. "It takes a psychotic bitch to threaten somebody like that. Are all my fans psychos? Hell I think I might take up golf."

The only thing important to him, he added, was his child and its mother.

"If I lose that, I've lost everything that matter."

According to Gomez, however, the whole thing was a big mistake, and a child at this stage of her life would just be much too great of an inconvenience.

"It wouldn't be fair to the child", she explained.