You can't just please some people. I know, I'm one of them. But I know it, which is why I very seldom go to the movies. For me, this amounts to a better than fifty-mile round trip, for one thing. Then there's the price. Next comes the depression, annoyance, and sometimes outright anger when a film isn't as good as the trailers imply.
For this reason, I didn't go to see Iron Man I or II. I finally got a chance to see Iron Man I on cable a few nights ago, and I was underwhelmed, to put it kindly. Sure, there were a few good moments, but still-pretty much a forgettable exercise.
I'll have to admit though, I would give serious thought to seeing The Green Hornet.
Here you have Seth Rogan playing the Hornet/Brit Reid, and going to the trouble of losing thirty pounds to play the role. Also, he co-wrote the movie. In other words, Seth Rogan is living a comic-book nerd's dream, writing the script for a superhero movie, and playing the lead role. Unfortunately, many comics fans are not happy about Rogan playing the role, and are adamant in their protests, as you will ascertain in this and other reviews, and in the myriads of negative comments.
Rogan, an overweight comedian, is just not right for the role, they say. And, despite the fact that he is serious enough about the role to lose thirty pounds, he also does not take the part seriously enough, which I see as a positive, frankly. Its not that the film isn't serious enough. It's just not somber or too serious. It's just not that kind of movie. In fact, the film is billed as an action-comedy.
The Green Hornet's main enemy is not the film's villain, then, so much as it is the legion of comics fans who have launched the most diabolical plot of all. They are staying away from the movie, in droves. It opened with a disappointing take of eleven million dollars gross.
That's really too bad. Also-well, I started to say childish, but after all, these are comic book fans we're talking about, so that would be about like calling Islamic terrorists ill-tempered, wouldn't it?
I think the problem here is, Seth Rogan is having good-natured fun at comic fans expense, and they aren't happy about it. They're pissed without even being aware of why they're pissed.
Here's the story. Brit Reid is a slacker playboy type who, when his millionaire publisher father dies, inherits the family business. He wants to make something of himself, live up to the responsibility his father left him, even though he clearly hated the old man. At the same time, he doesn't really want to grow up, and doesn't see anything wrong with that. In fact, like most comic book geeks, he really doesn't see it, period.
Yes, Brit Reid in this film is the penultimate comic book nerd. Brit Reid's father was so disgusted with him that, as a child, he snapped the head off his Superman action figure. So now, he and Kato, the old man's mechanic, chauffeur, and all-around gopher, who also hated the elder Mr Reid, decide in a drunken stupor to remove the head off his memorial statue. They inadvertently foil a mugging, for which they are then blamed, and at this point, Reid is inspired to finally make something out of his life-he would become a masked crime fighter with a secret identity. So he has it both ways. He has a position of responsibility, but also lives an exciting, glamorous life as a crime fighter in a way to indulge his sense of adventure and excitement-his inner comic book nerd.
But it goes deeper than that. See, Brit Reid would probably be as good a crime fighter as your ordinary, everyday comic book geek-
Look, there on the sofa! Fatter than a breakfast buffet. Strong enough to resist motivation. Able to leap through two hundred cable channels without getting off the couch for a solid month. It's BOY-MAN! and his trusty sidekick JACKDICK!
But luckily for Brit, he has a lot more going for him than some weird little kid with tight, flaming red short shorts and girlishly sexy legs. He has Kato, who can kick your fucking ass. The unique thing about Kato was always that, on a bad day for him and a good day for the Hornet, he kicked twice as much ass as the Hornet. On a good day, the Hornet was superfluous. Plus, Kato is the one who built and maintains the Black Beauty, which is one bad motherfucking ride.
So why does the Hornet get the billing? Well, because its his show, literally and figuratively. It's his idea, but even more importantly, its his money. He pays the bills. He does something in this film that was never done in any of the other incarnations. He gets jealous of Kato because he gets it in his head that his lady-love, played by Cameron Diaz, is smitten with Kato. But this comic geek insecurity on Brit's part passes in time, and we are left with the distinct impression that Brit Reid and Kato make one hell of a team. They are, you might say, one hell of a dynamic duo, if you know what I mean. But of course, being a comic book geek at heart, Brit doesn't. But let's just say, the fact that Diaz's character isn't all that well drawn out could very well be part of the plot. The comic book geek hero should always get the girl. First he has to know what to do with her if he does get her. But since he doesn't, he won't, and she will just stay a distant ideal. You know, something that is good for his-er, self-image?
This movie is supposed to be funny. It is obviously a Bromantic Comedy as much as a kick-ass, superhero action flick. Comic geek fans should take it for what it is and stop being so self-conscious. The Black Beauty if anything is probably worth the price of admission, though admittedly, the relative restraint used with the car might be the one serious flaw of the film. But then again, what comic geek superhero would take too many unnecessary chances with that kind of ride?
The movie also contains, toward the end, a salute to the old sixties television series. I won't describe it here in detail, but its a recycled plot device which will be immediately recognizable to connoisseurs of the old sixties series with Van Williams and Bruce Lee.
So fuck it, comic geeks, go see the movie, relax, laugh at yourselves, and-well, you know, grow up? Let's face it, the concept of a guy that dresses in a costume, hides his true identity, and becomes a superhero, is the concept of a guy that can't be wrapped too tight. I mean, some of them are wrapped so tight you can see their bulging, throbbing comic book cocks, but hey, that's just proving my point, isn't it? And that point is, its all right for a comic book superhero movie to laugh at the concept every now and then.
