The Gods Must Be Sulking

In my own personal and private mythology, I have designated the area around Paducah, Kentucky, including Lynch and other areas in the immediate vicinity, as being sacred to the God Poseidon. This is where the Ohio and the Mississippi River happen to converge. There is also a fault line in this general area, and because of this it has been known to produce earthquakes. Nothing really major, yet, or at least not for quite some time-say, going on a couple of hundred years or so-but the potential is there. The really troubling thing about this is, kentucky is lined with an extensive network of caverns. Mammoth Cave, in fact, is so extensive it has as yet to be fully charted or explored.

A major earthquake, therefore, could conceivably cause an appreciable amount of danger, especially in the westernmost part of the state, which would doubtless be the dpicenter of any quake, major or minor. In fact, homeowners in this area would be well advised to purchase some kind of earthquake insurance, while it still may yet be affordable. As of yet, the only such quakes that have occurred in the last few years, have been very minor. Almost as though the God were simply rolling over while sleeping, or snoring.

On the other hand, the God seems to have deserted the sacred area I have designated for him. After so long a period of time with very little rain, conditions in the state are dire. In some areas, rsidents hacve been advised to limit their water usage to merely bathing and cooking. People are ceetainly being strongly discouraged from using inordinate amounts of water to water their lawns and plants, for example.

As for the river, what can you say? The Ohio River, the opart near Paducah, at any rate, is down now to eight feet. Because of this, barge traffic has recently been called to a halt. Thus, river commerce is affected adversely. In fact, the last few times the Ohio River was traversed by a barge, it hit ground. Thus, barge traffic will probably be halted until such time as a sizeable hurricane sends enough rain our way to enable the water to thus rise to more normal levels. This would take one hell of a hurricane, or a long series of moderate to strong ones. In fact, this had been predicted, but so far the predictions have not borne out. Which is probably good for thefolks in the Gulf States. But one person's poison, as the saying goes-

At any rate, Poseidon, it seems, has elected to snub his nose at the weather predictions, and has diverted the majority of hurricanes and tropical storms away from the Gulf Coast. Maybe he feels the folks down there have had enough. Or maybe he is simply pissed at us up here, for the levels of mercury and other contaminents that have been dumped in his sacred waterways, and is trying to tell us something. Like, for example,"STOP DUMPING YOUR SHIT IN MY RIVER, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Yeah, sometimes it is far more effective to sulk than it is to throw a tantrum. After all, when a God throws a tantruym, you are too busy dodging flying glass, tree tops, and houses, to really think clearly. But when they sulk, you have time to think. And sometimes, it's not too pretty. It's kind of like being grounded for a month. Sometimes it can be more effective than a quick spanking which is over and done with relatively quickly, then at times just as quickly forgotten. You would almost prefer the spanking.

I can hear it all now, I know. You're thinking, are you fucking nuts? Do you really think the God is doing this, because he's pissed about the way we have abused the environment? You think he's responsible?

To which I would reply, "Well, no, not really. But we might be."