There has been a disturbing trend recently in the national forrests of the country, involving an increasing number of bear attacks. In fact, just this past year, there have been seventy such attacks-in New Jersey alone. That in itself is enough to get my attention, as I didn't think there was anything in New Jersey but concrete and steel. No, that business about the "Garden State" didn't fool me one little bit. But evidently, there is more forrest land in New Jersey than is realized, or than I realized, at least. You know there has to be a hell of a lot of bears in an area for there to be seventy attacks by them.
And that is probably the problem, there are way too many bears, in way too condensed an area. I mean, New Jersey ranks as the 45th largest state of the Union in terms of size-snugly between New Hampshire and Massachusetts. Not a big state at all. You wouldn't think there would be seventy bears, let alone attacks by same.
It says more, however, about the hunger for land than it does about the bears. More and more, bears, and other forms of wildlife, are being forced out of their natural habitats, or further feel the ever increasing encroachment by human kind.
And then there are the tourists who stupidly persist in feeding bears, or leaving refuse which includes foods in areas where bears are sure to be attracted to it. You know most of them, the vast majority of them, know they are not suppossed to do this, but at the same time, you know they don't give a fuck, they are going to do it anyway, after all, they are human, that's a fucking bear, fuck it, I want a picture, besides, I think it's cool, hey, look, I think he likes me.
Of course, this over time causes the beat to lose it's natural fear of humans, and the next thing you know you have situations where a bear will go into the temporary camp-site of an unsuspecting tourist, and you have the potential for tragedy. Thus, it is really not safe to go out in the forrests by yourself anymore, thanks to a bunch of numbnuts, who by the way are probably the same fools who are responsible for most of the forrest fires you hear about year in and year out.
Thankfully, there is a point to this post, over than just an excuse to rant, yet again, about something that really pisses me the fuck off. I am a pagan, a worshipper of the forces of nature, and a witch, and as such I assume that a good lot of the people that might be drawn to read this Blog, if any, are of the same beliefs, and in the meantime there are others who, though they might not be so inclined, (though are still of course welcome here) may nevertheless be also lovers of the great outdoors, or know of someone who is. If so, read carefully, for the following advice might actually save your life, or that of someone you know and love.
For one thing, go to the mountains and forrests in groups. It just isn't safe to go out by yourself anymore, or even in small groups of twos and threes. There is strength and relative safety in numbers, for no other reason than to scare off potential natural predators.
If on the other hand you do find yourself in the position where you might be approached by a bear, bear in mind the following. Hopefully, you will have a gun with you, and readily availiable. Do not , however, shoot the bear. Even if he approaches you. If you shoot the bear, you will probably be dead within a matter of five minutes or less, because what you will accomplish by shooting him, (unless you have a certain kind of gun and really know what the fuck you are doing)is piss him off in a way you really don't want to be the cause of. Instead of shooting the bear, shoot up in the air. If he just stops and looks at you, shoot over his head. And then, at the ground close to him, hopefully not close enough to where it will ricochet. In the vast majority of cases, the noise will be enough to scare the beat into flight.
In the unfortunate event you don't have a gun, or are unable to retrieve it due to it's relative position as regards to you and the bear, by all means don't panic. Start shouting and screaming and stomping the ground, as loudly as you can. This as well should, in most cases, scare the bear away from you.
Unless it happens to be a grizzly bear, that is. In this case, he is probably going to advance towards you. You are now his lunch, as far as he is concerned. There is now only one thing you can do. Lay down on the ground, and roll up into a ball, making sure your head is burrowed under you chest so that it is not exposed. Lay as still as possible. Believe it or not, this will probably work, provided you can keep your head-no pun intended.
The last thing you should do, is run. Once you succumb to this temptation, you have identified yourself to the mind of any bear, as his prey. He will run after you. And he will catch you. And he will kill you. And he will eat you. Unless he is a she. In that case, she will share you with her cubs.
So there you have it. Now, don't you just love nature?
