In a desperate, last ditch effort to put an end to the current, so-called "Tea-Party" revolt and restore order, the Royal Family made an appearance on Larry King Live, determined to re-establish control over the hearts and minds of the commoner class that make up the base of the Republican Party.
The King of the Inside-The-Beltway aristocratic class, His Royal Highness George Herbert Walker Bush, maintained that the Tea-Party had some good ideas but he wasn't sure where they fit in the grand scheme of things. In doing so, our beloved monarch demonstrated the depth of his royal genius by sending two concurrent messages.
To the Tea-Party commoners, the message was clear. Just stick to your donating, voting and your praying, but don't step out of line, or we will have to put you lower class peasants back in your places, real quick.
And of course, to the rest of the country, he was saying, with a wink and a nod, don't worry about these people, we can control them.
It was our beloved Queen Mother, however, who issued the sternest rebuke, while at the same time gracing us, her loyal minions, with a proclamation that could not help but fill all of our hearts with glee.
She let that upstart rebellious peasant girl Sarah Palin know that her place was not in the United States of America, it was in that cold, forlorn place known in hushed whispers and mythical legends as "Alaska".
"You'd better keep your skank ass up there where you belong!" our beloved Queen Mother bellowed with imperious rage, much to the delight of her adoring court and all of us, her loyal minions who have long hungered for the benefit of her inspired guidance.
For these past two days now we have wept uncontrollable tears of gratitude and relief, for the beloved mother of heaven and earth ended with the announcement for which we have hungered for yo, these past two years.
"It will soon be Jeb's turn to ascend to his rightful, God-given place on the throne of the Empire of the USA," she assured all of us, her weeping and grateful followers.
Since that time, there has been dancing, feasting, and much merry-making throughout the land, for now we see a coming end to the dark days of sorry and misery that has reigned throughout this, our beleaguered and divided nation, and we with humble hearts and thankful spirits look forward to a return to days of yore, when we shall happily make our way throughout a land that is no longer divided, no longer besieged by the forces that rip asunder the fabric of our nation, a nation where it will once again no longer matter who sits upon the throne.
