Monday, August 11, 2008

The Lord's Bountiful Blessings And Bullshit Like That

The ministry of Joel Osteen can best be summed up as-

*Be good
*Send us money
*God will bless you with riches

This might well be a viable part of the message of Christianity, but only as a small part of it. To be fair, I think Osteen has said as much, but this is the focus of his particular ministry, now widely known as “the prosperity gospel”.

If you attend the Osteens mega church, Lakewood Church in Houston, where he and wife Victoria are co-pastors, don’t expect to hear any harsh words or rhetoric of condemnation for the sins of modern man. Jesus loves you-that’s all you need to know. Well, that and you should have faith and live positively.

Well, it looks as though Victoria Osteen is possibly destined to share her portion of the Lord’s bounty in a way she never counted on. She is now embroiled in a lawsuit filed by an airline attendant who accuses her of physical assault, as well as racism, and is after a hefty portion of the Osteen fortune, in punitive and compensatory damages.

Because of Osteen, she claims, she has “lost her faith”. As if that were not enough, she now suffers from-wait for it-

Hemorrhoids!

The only legitimate complaint the woman has, as I see it now, is the assault. The racism charge is based on Osteen’s insistence that she speak to one particular flight attendant, the one white out of the three available. The problem arose from an alleged stain on the armrest of Osteen’s seat. Somewhere along the way, a verbal altercation ensued and Osteen elbowed the woman in the breast. She also earlier paid a fine for, as the airline explained, “interfering with a flight crew”.

The Osteens' willingness to quickly pay the fine (to put it behind them, according to the Osteens' attorney) is, according to the woman’s lawyer, proof of guilt. Well, like I said, she might-might-have some grounds based on the assault charge, but the others I have serious reservations about.

Osteen’s insistence on speaking to the one lone flight attendant is not provable racism. And if it is, so what? Did she call the woman a nigger? Did she tell her “I don’t want your help you black ape, I want a white person?” If something along these lines didn’t occur, then I see no grounds for a legal finding of racism, and certainly not for a monetary settlement based on such a charge.

It is especially worth noting that the woman's lawyer actually used a racist point as a key element of his case. Check out this doozy-

McKamie then called psychiatrist Shayna Lee, who said black women interpret confrontation and others' actions differently than other races and genders.


Uhhmm, well then-

She goes on to insist that, thanks to Mrs. Osteen, she has lost her faith. Well, is she sure about that? Maybe she just misplaced it somewhere. I suggest she look in all her pockets, or possibly under the cushions of her sofa. Aircraft baggage handlers are notorious for losing luggage, maybe it’s their fault. Oh, that’s right, she wasn’t a passenger, she was a flight attendant. Well then, hey, here’s a thought-maybe it’s her own fault she lost it.

The hemorrhoid charge is too ridiculous for comment. Let’s just say I don’t want to go there.

The one legitimate charge of assault should have been quickly and easily settled, but hey, why herd a cash cow into the barn before it is through grazing? Osteen does not look good here at all, but the plaintiff looks like a gold digger. Yet, the true criminal is the judge who agreed to hear this crazy case as is when he should have thrown it out of court, after insisting on a settlement for the one legitimate claim, or at the very least insisting on dropping the more absurd ones.

Thanks to Danielle, who attends Lakewood Church, for bringing this story to my attention. Danielle, if you are giving these people money, I hope at least one of them kissed you first.

10 comments:

na said...

The fine for interfering with the flight crew came about because Victoria knocked on the cockpit door. It seems she thinks herself so important that the stain should be brought to the captains attention (lol).

Anonymous said...

Patrick-
I have never given money to Lakewood Church. I have purchased items from the bookstore, but never given money in the plate, nor would I ever consider tithing to them.

The messages are about a lot more than "Be Good, Give us Money...", etc. Joel preaches on holding onto dreams, having positive perspectives, pressing through adversity, and so many more things that are more than "Be Good and Give us Money".

That being said, they do pump tithing. While I believe in most of what Joel has to say, one thing I strongly disagreed with was that God "couldn't bless you" unless you were tithing. If you aren't tithing, they believe, then you are "robbing God".

In the past couple of years, however, they have not pumped it so much. They still believe in it, but the "God can't" is gone.

I go to church there periodically (once a month average), because I like to be uplifted with positivity like that. Joel Osteen has been accused by the religious right as "not really Christian." I don't think he's really a Christian, but I don't see that as a bad thing. They don't have to know I am not tithing or giving anything to the church. It's not like they check your paystub at the door. I would just go, sit in the nosebleed section, enjoy it, feel good about myself, my life and my future, and go home.

I hope that makes sense.

Anonymous said...

Also, stress and anxiety related disorders can cause a myriad of physical health issues. This is where the hemmorhoid thing comes in, probably. I have broken out in hives before because of stress. I don't mean to be gross, but what she's probably trying to say is that the stress gave her diarrhea and that in turn caused the... you know.

SecondComingOfBast said...

Danielle-

I might be wrong, but hemorrhoids generally don't happen overnight. They develop over time. A contributing factor is a sedentary lifestyle. Stress probably does play a role as well, but this incident did not cause this woman to come down with hemorrhoids.

Plus, bear in mind I am not putting the message down, just pointing out that, as a former Christian, I understand the Bible enough to know there is a lot more to it than that.

Christ's disciples were called that precisely because they were following a discipline. It's not all a bed of roses. There are tough times for everybody, and Christianity purports to give you the tools to deal with life's problems, it doesn't promise to eliminate them, nor does it guarantee a life of riches to all who follow a specific formula.

I realize I condensed the Osteen's teachings, for reasons of space, but I think I've accurately encapsulated their teachings. The main reason most conservative Christians criticize him is he avoids mention of the doctrine of original sin and the "wages of sin".

Seeing as how he used the Bible as a base for his teachings, he is not presenting the whole package. It's not so much that what he teaches is wrong, just that he doesn't go far enough from the Christian perspective.

SecondComingOfBast said...

Blue Skull-

I didn't catch that part, but thr assault was a part of the charge as well. She elbowed the womn in the breast while standing by the bathroom door while they were trying to reason with her (at least to hear them tell it).

But you are right about her self-important attitude. People of wealth and especiall fame fall into that trap, mainly because so many people feed their egos on such a regular basis.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
na said...

Patrick-

I haven't been following the story in the news, I don't even watch the news. But what little coverage I have caught has not mentioned the reason for the fine. That information came from an inside source here in Houston.

Danielle-

My wife listens to Joel all the time. She likes his messages and encourages me to listen also. There have been times I've listened to him, and there has been truths come out of his mouth that I could use in my life.

But my perspectives are different than most peoples. And just like I use the Bible for direction in life in a rather unique way, Joel's messages may be inseminated into my being for purposes others would not use.

Anonymous said...

Blue Skull-
You said it better than I could have right now.

Quimbob said...

I can;t remember ever flying on a plane and not getting elbowed, hit or jostled by somebody.

Anonymous said...

They won.