Guest Blogger-Baphomet The Demon

I was just about ready to get off my blog last night, after deciding to do a blog post about the recent death of comedian George Carlin. I couldn’t seem to decide exactly what to say, when all of a sudden, the strangest thing happened. I felt eerily light-headed, and dizzy, and I could sense the presence of an infernal entity. I could actually feel him taking over, and the next thing I knew, it was as though I was outside my body, watching as it typed furiously, yet at the same time engaged in demoniac howls of laughter.

When I awoke the following morning, assuming I had merely had an unusually horrific yet realistic waking dream of some sort, I decided to look at some of my writings to decide what to work on next. That was when I made a most unexpected discovery. I had seemingly typed a new post, yet one that I could not remember.

Once I discovered the presence of this post on my Word program, I decided to go ahead and post it, though it is certainly not for the faint of heart.

At any rate, I feel I have no choice but to present to you a post by an uninvited though indisputably compelling guest-blogger. And so, without further ado, I give you-the great demon Baphomet.

I have hijacked this blog temporarily as a means of expressing my immortal wrath at the ultimate fate of the comedian George Carlin. Here was a man who was an expressed atheist, so you might suppose he is now my plaything. I waited and waited, and waited some more, and still no George Carlin here in my infernal abode. God, that trickster, has evidently given Carlin a pass, based on the so-called “joy” he gave to so many worthless humans, and the hours of laughter, and even inspiration, by which he uplifted so many.

I still puke rotten blood when I hear people say things like the following I overheard just yesterday, which I quote here-

“If there is a comedy club in heaven, George Carlin must surely be one of the headliners.”

Does such bilge not make you just sick to your stomach? Thankfully, such an ignorant statement, if made in seriousness, reveals a promising lack of knowledge about that insipid place known as heaven. In fact, so filled with the hideous emotion of “joy” is this horrible place, with it’s sickening condition called “peace”, that it is by its nature polluted by never-ending shrieks of “good-natured” laughter-so much to the point that a comedy club would be superfluous. No, George Carlin is, I am afraid, merely one of many destined to exist in an eternal abode of eternal, never-ending happiness.

Well, that is not going to ruin my day. Believe me, I have plenty of other prospects on whom I might soon vent my outrageous torture for eternity. One whom I trust will make his way to my eternal hell before too long is a man by the name of the Reverend Fred Phelps. He has been my faithful servant, albeit unknowingly, in the furtherance of spreading all the finer things of the universe-intolerance, hatred, and fear.

Just look at this wonderful website here, and the way he self-righteously condemns George Carlin to the eternal pits of hell. I wonder what the Reverend Phelps will say when, upon arriving at my humble abode, I look him straight in the eyes and tell him, “you lied, Phelps. Carlin is not here, as you can see.”

Then, the fun will begin. I have a special sharp rock over which I will bend Phelps, his naked spirit form bent over frontward with his ass sticking straight up into the air. He will hear the thousands upon thousands of the other unfortunates, those sexual perverts and rapists who finally, after many frustrating years of deprivation of their needs, will see that ass.

“Come and get it boys,” I will scream in that intimidating laughter I so love to affect. Phelps will surely scream for mercy, but to no avail, as thousands upon thousands of sexually depraved souls ass-rape him brutally. The worse part of it though, is a part of him will start to enjoy this, and will feel such great, all-encompassing shame, he will cry for mercy and for a deliverance that will never come his way.

When he has reached the absolute limits of human endurance, then it will be time for me to take my turn. My gigantic, thorn barbed, hardened cock shall plunge mercilessly into that already torn and bleeding ass as I unleash torrents of stinking, molten lava hot semen, with such force that it will shoot through his insides and out his impotently pleading mouth.

Then, I will have the pleasure of making him suck his own shit off my dick-shit that will in time be nothing but recently digested semen from various sources, not the least of which will be my own sulfuric emissions.

By the time I am through with him, he will be glad for the opportunity to face an on-going, never-ending gang rape by mere once-human spirits and minor demons. His shame and torment shall be ever lasting.

In the meantime, I must cut short this blog post, for I have other plans that I must see to. For one thing, I am preparing very special accommodations for two certain bloggers who seem to go all over the internet tearing into each other, neither trying to come to any kind of accord with the other. I have a special phone booth sized room just for the two of them where they can enjoy the pleasure of each others company-

FOR ALL ETERNITY

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA