If you ever go to the sun drenched Caribbean tropical island of Aruba, be sure and drop in and say a nice big howdy to the prettiest little lady lawyer you could ever want to feast your sex crazed eyes on. Her name is Arlene Ellis, and the minute you see her, you're going to want to say something witty yet stupid, like, a purty little thing like you shouldn't be taking up all your time on this dirty lawyerin' business, you should be married to a lawyer, living the good life. You could have your pick of the best, most high powered, expensive attorney on Aruba.
But the little woman doubtless loves her work, feels a special calling to it. Lately, she has been called innumerable times, on America's Cable News Channels, such as Fox, just last night in fact she appearred on "The O'Reilley Factor For Kids". Wait a minute, that's not right. What is it here? Oh yeah, for Pete's sake, :"The O'Reilley Factor For Kids" is a children's book Bill is constantly hawking. The show is just simply "The O'Reilley Factor". That's okay, I think Bill gets them mixed up himself from time to time.
But Miss Ellis-I don't think she's married, fellas-has contributed very handily to Bill's show, among others, and my, wouldn't you be surprised at how the little lady explains, in simple and straightforward fashion, the ins and outs of Aruban law, which is of course based NOT ON THE AMERICAN LEGAL SYSTEM BUT ON THAT OF THE DUTCH LEGAL SYSTEM!!!
Now get this, guys. Not only is the little lady as cute as a bug in a rug. She's actually smart. Sometimes I think she really is an honest to gosh lawyer. And to think that there at first I thought she was just put on TV to be another pretty face, like Greta Van Sustern. She even has a better tan than Greta. Greta is catching up with her though.
But to recap what the little lady explained, with a cute though at times nearly imperceptible impertinence, is that Joran Van Der Sloot will have to be released if no evidence is presented to warrant holding him. Not that he won't ever be charged, mind you. It depends on evidence, such as is required to hold one in American jails, prior to being officially charged with a crime. It's called probably cause. It would be helpful, the little lady pointed out, if there could actually be presented PROOF THAT A CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED!!!! Such as is required for one to be charged in, again, an American court.
After Miss Ellis's segment was over, Greta made another appearrance. She pointed out that were it not for the media, the case might never have been brought to light to begin with. Well, now, the case has certainly been brought to light. We see clearly now, the following: If the information the investigators have uncovered were ever to be leaked to a media outlet-such as, say for example, "The O'Reilley Factor" or, weellll, I don't know, maybe ON THE RECORD WITH GRETA VAN SUSTERN- then it so happens that this might very well cause any potential case against any prospective defendant TO BE THROWN OUT OF MOTHERFUCKING COURT BECAUSE OF THE COMPLEXITIES OF THE DUTCH LEGAL SYSTEM AS ADHERED TO ON THE ISLAND OF ARUBA.
I think Miss Ellis explained this quite well, in fact, at one point, at one time or another, on somebody's show, I don't remember now which one, but I'm sure she did, or somebody did, I don't remember, I don't think too clearly when purty little lawyers like Miss Ellis are on-screen.
There's just something about the way she smiles, then pouts, and kind of explains simple little things that even a child should be able to comprehend. Maybe she should have been a school teacher.
