Contrary to popular belief, Bigfoot is very real. Or is she? Her name is Jane Fonda, and every time she is sighted, she seems to be sticking her Big Foot in her Big Mouth. As with all Bigfoot sightings, her apearrances tend to be very disconcerting. To say nothing of the fact that everything about it seems to stink, to high heaven, and on a bunch of different levels. Take for example her most famous sighting.
This one I saw for myself, and it certainly looked for real. There she was, sitting on a Viet Cong anti-aircraft gun, laughing cheefully, gleefuly, as she clasped her hands together. There it was for all the world to see. Was it for real? Or was it some kind of clever fraud? She was later said to have been sighted at a Vietnamese raio station, and was even heard to have broadcast pleas to American soldiers to refuse to fight, fo rthem to desert, that they were fighting an ilegal, immoral, and unjustified war of aggression. She was further said to have been sighted at a North Vietnamese prisoner of war camp, where she met with seveal POWs. Or did she? A great many of the more unfortunate POWs admitted they never actually saw her, though they believed the accounts of her presence. Very disconcerting. Something about it just didn't pass the smell test.
She was spotted several other times, in movies, in exercise videos, with several different husbands. Finally, she was spotted at a book tour, where she was spat upon by a disgruntled Viet Nam veteran. She had been recently heard to apologize for past actions. But was it for real? Disconcerting. It, yes, stunk to high heaven. She was last seen in yet another movie-Monster-In-Law. Would that be it for Bigfoot?
Evidently not. Now she is said to be about to embark on a bus tour in order to protest yet another war, the present one in Iraq. But is it for real? New Mexico Governor Elliot Richardson, whom she claims will accompany her on the tour, claims he has never heard about it, knows nothing about it. So, we are left to wonder-will Bigfoot soon be spotted in a city or a town near you? Or is it all a bizarre, monstrous fraud?
Disconcerting. And like all Bigfoot sightings, it stinks, on a bunch of levels.
