The Golden Ass-Edward M. "Teddy" Kennedy

It doesn't do much good to have a Trojan Donkey, if you don't have enough resources to adequately feed "The Golden Ass", but of course you can rest assurred you will get it al back, and then some. In other words, it's "The Golden Ass" that makes "The Trojan Donkey" a worthwhile abode. And this weeks "Golden Ass" would most certainly have to be the senior Senator from the state of Massachussetts. Some may wonder exactly why Teddy needs to be more of an ass than he all ready is-golden wise, that is. After all, the man has plenty of money, he's obviously a multi-millionaire, and can draw on all the resources of the Kennedy clan, but of course you have to remember how those resources were accumulated to begin with, which is of course to say political and business interests, such as banking. Besides, one's own monetary resources can only buy so much loyalty and influence, one might say lukewarm at best. A great deal of the time, it can only get you a certain level of tolerance based on the proposition, "well, he's better than the other option."

But to get the unquantified support of a network of liberal PACS, which might after all be the difference in achieving your overall policy aims, and thus ensuring the continuation of your legacy, and in this case dynasty, sometimes you have to take a step back, take a deep breath, hold it for as long as possible, shake off the malaise, pull yourself together, maybe take another deep breath, hold it for longer now than humanly possible, and finally take a stand-by saying the most outrageous, ridiculous, utterly baffling load of shit you could ever imagine entertaining in your mind, to say nothing of spewing out of your mouth.

This week, Teddy stepped up to the plate, and hit a homer. He took a nice little tour of the prison at Guantanemo Bay, after which he reitierated that the base should be closed, in that it obviously had been used forthe mistreatment of the prisoners, and for the disrespect of Islam. In otehr woreds, Teddy has paroted the party line of such stalwart organizations as MoveOn. org., Amnesty International, The International Red Cross, and, well, Al Queda.

In the meantime, while certain of the prisoners believed to hold vital information necessary to fighting the war on terror at Guantanamo Bay have been cussed and manhandled from time to time (though otherwise ensured their religous rights, prayer times, rituals, and required diets are strictly adhered to, in addition to receiving the best of medical care and time in the exercise yard, and for the most part, with some exceptions are actually treated in such a way that they are living better, for the most part, than they have ever lived in their lives) just this week in Iraq, we saw instances of the utmost brutality, when a suicide car bomber drove an explosive laden vehicle into the middle of a group of children who were receiving candy being passed out from an American soldier. 26 of the children were killed, along wiht the American soldier, while htree other soldiers and a lot more of the children were wounded, some seriously.

Hey, Teddy, guess what? If torture of these animals in Guantanamo is what it would take to ensure incidents like this never happenned again, especially on our own soil, I'm all for it. And until you and the rest of the Democrat Party-my party, I can't emphasize that enough- gets with the program, and gets that throught your thick skulls, you can count on losing more elections, and with my blessings.