Brangelina Forever, Unfortunately

Somebody who is undoubtedly associated with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie leaked a story to a British tabloid to the effect that the pair were splitting up, which served it's ultimate purpose. Attention was once again focused on the couple by way of this story, which is for now one of the top listed features in Google News. Brad and Angelina have denied the report, which yet served its purpose. Everybody is thinking about Brangelina again.

After all, why should people focus so much attention on important world affairs, including a disaster which might well have already claimed hundreds of thousands of lives amidst further incalculable suffering, when they could just as easily be thinking about the insignificant and self-centered lives of two vain, vapid, and pretentious Hollywood movie stars?

I don't know, but I think one or both of them were involved in the Haitian Relief Telethon. Evidently they were disappointed to discover they could not exactly be the center of attention this time around.

Naturally, you can almost count the days until this Dumbnamic Duo announce they are soon to adopt some Haitian orphans whose presence in the same general vicinity as the two will probably be limited to those times the cameras are flashing and rolling, as is probably the case with the remainder of both the adopted brood as well as those naturally conceived by them.

The remainder of the children's time is probably spent in the company of household staff and assistants whose places they are being groomed to take over at some future date.

I know that sounds a little harsh, but I think it's spot on. The leaked report in question is an old Hollywood trick. Leak reports to the tabloids, then issue a denial or confirmation. Sometimes it comes back to bite them on the ass, for example when Michael Jackson's staff, on Jackson's directions, encouraged one tabloid to refer to one of Jackson's photographed exploits as "bizarre". So successful was the story, it led to a run of them, and they helped wreck Jackson's life.

Naturally, many of the most obvious offenders like to play the victims of the tabloids, when in reality the only people truly victimized is society at large, which can't escape the odious aspects of the addictive natures of those who shell out millions of dollars a year to read this garbage, which is everywhere you go, down every supermarket checkout lane and every prime time entertainment news program.

There has to be an all-encompassing emptiness in the lives of those who obsess over this pair and others like them, a vacuum that is every bit as pronounced as the people they focus their adulation around. And make no mistake, they encourage this kind of idolatry. For example, the picture above is of a sculpture they had installed in the ceiling of their master bedroom, made out of crushed wine glasses which contains their DNA. This is an indication that these two have an exaggerated sense of their own self-importance, but at least it's a private bit of pretentiousness. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there.



The same sculptor created this monstrosity as a public display in honor of "National Breast Feeding Month". It appeared in Oklahoma City in September, and from there was shipped to England. It features Angelina Jolie breastfeeding two of her infants. I guess the significance of this is it implies that most mothers would never engage in breastfeeding without Angelina's recommendation. I would point out that there has never actually been a photograph of her breastfeeding anybody, and I personally feel the only child she has ever actually breast-fed is Brad Pitt.

Oh, but we're not finished yet. The same sculptor was a busy, busy man, so busy in fact, he tried his hand at architecture.



I am not really clear on this, but I think this house is in New Orleans, or it may be in Oklahoma, or possibly LA, but the point is, the name of it is Brangelina House. The good news is, you can buy it yourself for $500,000. Unfortunately, you have to sign an agreement to the effect that Brangelina are the "honorary owners" of the residence. What this means is anytime they are in town, you have to pretty much give them the run of the place. It would be interesting to see how this plays out, whether they would actually push a person out of their home to accommodate them, and for how long they would do so. Are they entitled to move their kids in on a permanent basis, or even staff?

But the main point is, these works were obviously commissioned by the two, who it must be obvious by now think rather highly of themselves. Is it beyond reason then to suspect that the rumors of their split up were planted in order to grab the attention of a public with nothing better to do than lives their lives vicariously through the public lives of this ego-centric pair?

The really sad thing is, while granted they are both attractive and talented people, in another era they would be considered quite average B-list or maybe even c-list performers.