Sunday, April 26, 2009

Time For A New Wave Of Blaxploitation Films



Back in the nineteen seventies, the so-called blaxploitation films were everywhere. They were of varying degrees of quality. You had major hits like Shaft and Superfly, along with sleeper hits like the vampire film Blacula, as well as less successful offerings such as Blackenstein. My all-time favorite blaxploitaiton film would have to be The Thing With Two Heads.

No matter how good or bad, they all had one thing in common-the obvious attempt to tap into the potential of the urban black movie market. It kind of went by the wayside by the time the eighties rolled around, but all trends seem to have revivals at one time or another, with the exception so far, thankfully, of Roller Disco. It would appear the blaxploitation genre is no exception to this revival rule, and it might well have been encouraged by the recent election of Barak Obama.

Enter the film Obsessed, starring Beyonce Knowles as a savvy, tough, sexy and beautiful housewife and mother, married to a successful black businessman, played by Idris Elba (a former co-star of the BBC version of The Office), who is being stalked by a-gasp-

WHITE BITCH!

Okay, it's obvious what is going on here. This white former first lady office temp, played by Ali Larter, is going to ruin our hero's life, all because she is obviously obsessed with great big long hard humongous black cock winning the love of a successful, secure, and stable black businessman. Deep down, she must know she could ruin his life, to say nothing of his chances of becoming President of the USA the most successful black businessman in the world.

Fortunately, our black hero is far stronger than that weak-ass cracker Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction. Even though he does engage in a little relatively harmless flirting, he resists the snares of the evil WHITE BITCH! She gradually loses all sense of perspective and becomes ever more aggressive, until she finally goes on the attack, even going so far as to accuse our heroine of stalking her out of jealousy.

Finally, all of this is resolved satisfactorily with a kick-ass sequence where our heroine Michelle Beyonce actually does just that. Kicks some ass, cos you know there is no WHITE BITCH! that can go toe-to-toe against a sister and come out on top, no matter how fucking crazy she is.

In the end, our hero's career and reputation is saved, along with his marriage and family. He proves that, yes, just like Barak Obama, a black man can be a dependable, solid, stable, secure, and yes, even successful business man and pillar of his community. And as long as he has a good, strong, sexy, beautiful, kick-ass wife willing to stand beside him, no WHITE BITCH! is ever going to break them up-or down.

Now by golly, that's the way it should be, huh?

5 comments:

na said...

LOL, That is too funny! You have a way with words PT. I like those old movies Superfly and Shaft. The music by Curtis Mayfield is great too. That's the way it should be! LOL

SecondComingOfBast said...

HaHa Thanks. Wonder how long it will take me to get reamed by somebody for that. By the way, Blue Skull, if you've never seen it, I highly recommend The Thing With Two Heads, if you can find it on DVD, it fucking ROCKS! My favorite line in the movie is from the woman who plays Rosie Grier's wife, the first time she sees him after the "experiment". I won't say what it is, it would ruin it. It had me all but rolling on the floor.

Frank Partisan said...

I saw a screening of that horrible movie.

Beyonce is a terrible actress. She was bad in Dreamgirls, but I thought it was the script. She is bad.

My friend calls that movie Fatal Ablacktion.

The male lead and Ali Larter were good.

SecondComingOfBast said...

Ren-

I felt bad at first about reviewing a movie I hadn't even seen, but on the other hand, you can pretty much judge shit by the smell without necessarily having to step in it. It's good to know I wasn't far off the mark.

I never cared for Beyonce as a singer, so any attempts to turn her into a film star are lost on me from jump street.

Frank Partisan said...

It was a bad, fun movie.

I posted in depth about South Africa.