Not Craig Crawford's Mt. Vernon Kentucky

If you ever watch the cable news channels to any extent you might eventually see on one of them a man by the name of Craig Crawford, a sometimes commentator and journalist for the Congressional Quarterley, and frequent contributor to Imus In The Morning. He recently published a book entitiled "Don't Shoot The Messenger" and recently appearred in my hometown, of Mt. Vernon, Ky., for a book signing and promotion. It so happens he too is a former resident of Rockcastle County. You might eventually hear him talk about what a great little place Mt. Vernon is. Don't believe a fucking word of it. Not that he is lying, he just don't know. He led an insulated life while he was here, which was probably to his advantage and in fact I never heard of the guy until I saw him on Imus. He went to school in another town, I think, maybe a private school. I would like to one day meet him and show him my Mt. Vernon, the real thing, with all the warts and without the perfume the place was in the process of being fumigated with during the course of his visit.

Well, actually, I'll be honest and admit right here that I could care less about showing him Mt. Vernon, I'll allow him his well crafted illussions, and hope they aren't the outgrowth of some deep seated delusions. The main reason I would like to meet the man, is, one, I like the guy, he's smart, brilliant even, and I admire his work, what little I actually know of it. And the main main reason is I would be in the hopes he might give me a helping hand with my own writing career, which is on life support right now, and needs all the help it can get.

Luckily, I didn't know he was in town until it was too late, otherwise I would have gone to the book signing at Cox's hardware Store and made a complete ass of myself. On the other hand maybe not. There's always a chance I would have been stopped and turned around at the door.

Some of these local yahos around here don't really know me now, they know the me of x amount of years or so ago, back when I was wild, wooley, eccentric, and somewhat deluded. And I am still somewhat wild, and somewhat wooley, and somewhat eccentric. But I have left my delusions far behind, thank you very much, and one of those delusions is the one that ever suggessted that I had a snowballs chance in hell of ever fitting in with this bunch around here. Not that I don't like them, some of them are good people, they're just not my type of folks. It's like hi, and bye, and otherwise, don't get any bright ideas. In other words, they will never get to know the real me, because that's not the one they're used to. Or something like that. Plus, I seriously doubt they would like the real me anyway. After all, I am a pagan, and a Witch, something I go out of my way not ot advertise in this Christian, mostly Baptist, and very small town.

But on the other hand, hey, I love being me. I just wish there was a few more of me. And when you get right down to it, who the fuck is Craig Crawford anyway?