Oh Mommy Where Art Thou?

WARNING-Don't Try This At Home



Unless of course you're either a real expert singer, or in the case of Smitty of The Other McCain, a real expert dad. It takes a special touch to put a kid through something like this without leaving him traumatized. 

Some Serious Allegations

Who says kids today have it all that bad. Many of them allegedly have it pretty rough. But actually, some of them seem to have it pretty darn good. If you're lucky, and you go to a certain school in Edgewood in Northern Kentucky, for example, you might be lucky enough to have a Bengals cheerleader as one of your teachers. Maybe even a Ben-Gals cheerleader squad captain, like Sarah Jones.

This would be her, right here.

And that's not all. If you really work hard and play by the rules, you might even get to have an affair with said Bengal's cheerleader. "Allegedly", of course. Hell, her mother, the principle, might even "allegedly" aid and abet by covering up evidence. Assuming she's reinstated, that is. Just hope the two alleged venereal diseases Sarah has been alleged to have are actually, not allegedly, cleared up.

H/T Ben Swann WXIX

Right On, America

Soleday O'Brien, the unabashedly leftist progressive host of CNN's Starting Point With Soleday O'Brien, has a bit of a problem. The ratings of her show is in the gutter, prompting such descriptions by media observers as "brutal" and "an epic ratings collapse" according to The Other McCain, which reports that it is- the cable network’s lowest ratings for that time slot in more than a decade. Fewer than 100,000 adults 25-54 tuned in to O’Brien’s program on an average day, according to the latest quarterly Nielsen numbers. In the meantime, by contrast Rush Limbaugh announced that his ratings are now soaring on 600 stations. This despite the loss of some advertisers over the ridiculous Sandra Fluke flap. This of course could mean a number of things. For example, it could mean that Americans on the average don't really care much for sluts. Or for bitches. Or, perhaps more to the point, they're just simply sick of leftist hogwash.

And Now, A Word From Alexis

No, I'm not a Ron Paul supporter, but this is just too cute to not post.

H/T Ben Swann

Boyz In Da Hoodies

Say goodbye to the sweater vest, Santorum supporters. Right Wing Stuff at Cafe Press has your latest in Santorum campaign fashion accessories-I call it The Ricky Poo Hoodie.

After all, since Santorum has recently come out on the side of the racebaiters, hustlers, and poverty pimps-like "President" Barak Obama, Al Shaprton, Jesse Jackson, The New Black Panther Party and Spike Lee-in pronouncing guilt on George Zimmermann for the death of Travyon Martin (without knowing jack shit about the facts of the case), then it only seems right that Santorum join in solidarity with the Hoodie Nation of America.

BTW-a great big H/T to Zilla Of The Resistance for providing the Daily Caller link. I know it was hard for her, as she has been a long-suffering, devoted Santorum supporter for some time, and unlike other Santorum apologists like Robert Stacy McCain who continue to deny reality as they whistle past the graveyard of the Santorum campaign (while pretending its not a graveyard but a festival), she deserves kudos for having the intellectual honestly and insistence on moral clarity to call, well, a spade a spade.

But hey, at the same time, you can't blame a losing candidate for trying one last desperate Hail Mary. Who knows, maybe Santorum can draw enough of the black vote in Maryland, Wisconsin, and other states to overcome Mitt Romney's at this stage nearly insurmountable lead. Hell, if he's steadfast enough, he might even draw some of the black vote in the general election. He might even cut into Obama's vote in the hard-core urban black Democratic areas. Don't laugh, it's not impossible that he might draw something like 0.00000000001 percent of the black Democrat vote-otherwise known as "you blind drunk old fool you punched the wrong chad, nigga!".

The Death Of Love

One of my favorite recent commercials, a couple looking to save money on a home security system discover that adopting a "Rescue Panther" might not have been their best move.



Actually, I have my own rescue panther though admittedly its a miniature version. Here she is getting ready to maul the hell out of two shoe-strings tied together.

So, These Black Panthers Were Walking Down The Road

Rep Allen West is one of many who reacted strongly to the initial news of the shooting of Florida High School student Trayvon Martin. Yet, as is so often the case, it could well be that George Zimmermann, the man accused of shooting the teenager who allegedly did nothing but walk through a neighborhood at night dressed in a hoodie and carrying nothing but a bag of Skittles, may indeed turn out to be the victim of a gross injustice.

Never mind that the Rev Al Sharpton and other notorious race hustlers are calling for Zimmermann's blood. Even the President of the United States has gotten into the act, leading to two contenders for the GOP Presidential nomination, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich, to accuse him of turning it into a political issue. This lead in turn to one of Obama's staffer David Plouffe to attack the two candidates, calling their remarks irresponsible, reprehensible, and hard to stomach, according to The Other McCain

And of course, this has lead to more predictable calls for gun control laws, including a call for an investigation of Florida, and other states,  Stand Your Ground laws, a demand recently made by no less a figure than New York Democrat US Senator Chuck Schumer.

Now come to find out Martin may not have been so innocent after all, while Zimmermann may indeed have acted in self-defense, according to one eyewitness, which is now rumored to be why Zimmermann was not arrested at the scene to begin with. In fact, it is now being reported that Zimmermann desisted in following Martin at the urgings of 911 dispatchers, whereupon Martin attacked him from behind and was on top of him on the ground, beating him.

Nevertheless this has not dissuaded Sharpton, nor has it convinced any of the other race-hustlers and race-baiters of either race. In fact, just recently came the news The New Black Panthers offer 10,000 dollar reward for capture of Zimmerman  

As if this was not enough, Zimmermann's address was tweeted by no less a public figure than film director Spike Lee .

Moreover, there is even some suggestion that Martin's photo might have been altered in order to make him look less intimidating, a way for the media to engender wider sympathy for Martin and further stoke the fires of populist rage. Well, hell, those papers aren't going to sell themselves, you know. Sometimes it takes work. An artistic flair, so to speak.



As might be expected, Obama and the Democrats have remained strangely silent about all these latest developments. But on the other hand, hey-spring is in the air, and there's an election right around the corner. Nothing to gin up the old liberal base quite like a good old fashioned racial controversy. And if it leads to riots, mayhem, destruction of property, or even the murder of a certain "white Hispanic" with a Jewish sounding name, what the fuck? Anything for the cause.

As for me, whenever I see a number of "urban youth" dressed in hoodies approaching me from down the street, I know what to do, now more than ever.

Cross the fucking road.

We Are All Little Breitbarts, In Our Own Little Ways

 Of all the deaths of all the people I've never known, probably known have impacted me as much as the death of Andrew Breitbart. He was a true pioneer and warrior in the quest for truth and excellence in journalism. And of course, because of this, he made an abundance of enemies, probably more during his all too brief career than any one hundred people amass over the course of their entire lifetimes.

Since I never personally got to know him, I will send you by way of link to somebody who did. Robert Stacy McCain, who wrote about Breitbart shortly after his death for The American Spectator 

It was McCain, in fact, by way of his blog The Other McCain who posted the following video, in which Breitbart displayed his wicked sense of humor at the expense of Charles Johnson, long at enmity with the two individuals who appear beside Breitbart in the video, Robert Spencer and, especially, Pam Gellar. 



Breitbart was so hated by the left that rumors surfaced that he might have been murdered. I myself considered the possibility that, in an attempt to embarass Breitbart, his enemies might have drugged his drink, which might have resulted in his death. But in all likelihood Breitbart, who lived hard and relentlessly in all areas of his life and in fact never slowed down, was a literal heart attack waiting to happen, suffering as he did from a bad heart.

Yet, his death was met by joy from the Left, and not just by the leftist mob, but such well known figures on the Left as Matthew Iglesias, who noted on his Twitter account-

The world outlook is slightly improved with @AndrewBrietbart dead.

I meant to include some links from earlier blog posts that I did on Breitbart, including his seminal work on such matters as ACORN and The Pigford Sttlement, but unfortunately, the links have been taken down, and clicking on them now takes you straight to Breitbart's homepage. As such I instead draw your attention to the Breitbart memorial compiled by Zilla Of The Resistance which contains innumerable links related to Breitbart.

Finally, I draw your attention to the on-going website of Breitbart, which carries on his work through its various sections, known as The Bigs-Big Hollywood, Journalism, Peace, and Politics. There is a meme going on throughout the conservative blogosphere where bloggers proclaim "I Am Breitbart". A nice sentiment, but in reality, he was one of a kind. And though his work will live on, there are very few individuals who can or will rise to that standard of dedication and excellence. However, there are three things we can all do to keep his legacy alive. Its not really that difficult. I call them the Three L's-Look, Listen, Learn. The truth is useless if you're not open to it.

When Bristol Talks, Obama Should Listen

Of course Obama is a fucking fool, so he won't, and you know, maybe that's just as well. But in a recent open letter to Obama on her blog Bristol wonders, probably in vain, when she'll get a phone call from our dipshit President (my words) to commiserate with her over the abuse she has taken from the likes of million dollar Obama donor Bill Maher and others. Britstol points out that Obama is the President of all Americans, including conservative Republicans, not merely the libtard fucksticks like Sandra Fluke, to whose defense Obama jumped after Rush Limbaugh foolishly called her a slut.

On the other hand, Bristol pointed out something which I never knew, or maybe I just forgot. Back during the 2008 Presidential campaign, when Bristol was being maligned mercilessly by the Left for being an unwed mother, Obama actually did defend her, saying that she and the children of all candidates should be off limits. As she recalls-

After all, I’ve always felt you understood my plight more than most because your mom was a teenager.  That’s why you stood up for me when you were campaigning against Sen. McCain and my mom — you said vicious attacks on me should be off limits.
Yet I wonder if the Presidency has changed you.  Now that you’re in office, it seems you’re only willing to defend certain women.  You’re only willing to take a moral stand when you know your liberal supporters will stand behind you.

The answer, of course, is no, the presidency has not changed Obama. His earlier defense was a mere political calculation, something that sounded good when Obama was trying to shore up his support among independents and conservative Democrats-especially former Hillary supporters who were still stung by the primary contest between Obama and Hillary-and in the meantime he hoped to pick up a substantial number of moderate Republicans.

Now of course Obama feels no need to reach out to these people, because now he understands it is imperative that he shore up the lagging support among his own base. He can't do that by coming to the defense of any of the hated Palin clan.

In other words, the candidate of hope and change has proven what many of us knew all along. He's just another political bullshitter.

Spring Is In The Air

I've been juggling too many things lately to post much, even without the flu that swarmed in and kicked my ass for about a week, something I still haven't completely recovered from. Be that as it may, better late than never, including my postings related to the Spring Equinox. But then again, all my Sabbat postings have fallen by the wayside over the last year or so. Still, when you feel inclined to play catch-up, its nice to find somebody who has actually done your work for you. One case in point would be a recent post by The Troglopundit about all the fattening, high calorie foods that are so bad for you when eaten to excess, yet which taste so damn good life wouldn't be the same without them.

Now I won't steal all the Trog's good hard work, but I will post a few samples, a few of the better ones. After all, though the Equinox has come and gone, spring is still in the air. And nothing is more inspiring than when you read about how the First Lady was recently booed by schoolchildren during one of her matronly lectures on the importance of eating healthy foods.

Now don't get me wrong. I am a big proponent of eating healthy, well-balanced meals, but at the same time, I am also an advocate of eating foods that bring you nothing but pleasure, so long as this is not done to excess. And no time is better to do so than during the early days of spring. And so, without further ado, I present these three samples of some of the better offerings proffered by the Trog.

Let's start out with our appetizer.

I've done forgotten what this is or where it came from, but doesn't it fucking look good? I think its onion strings and jalapeno poppers, but don't quote me on that. All I know is there's some cheese involved somewhere. And nothing is more magical than feeling the sting of jalapeno through your farts. Eat up, wait an hour, and then move on to the main course.

Now this is from Quiznos, but trust me, its not for babies. This is what you call a Grilled Chicken Honey Mustard Flat Bread Salad. I don't want to even think about the calories we've ingested so far, especially since we're not exactly done. Hey we need something to wash all this down with, right? And what better than-

The Sierra Nevada Bigfoot, a Boch beer to die for. Trog included some other offering, including one from an old Pagan Temple favorite, The Heart Attack Grill, a coffee from Starbucks, and of course, some dessert. But why go there? After all this, who has room for dessert? Shit, this was dessert. Just kick back, enjoy, and have a joyous, bountiful spring.

Our Manchurian President-A Tragic, Treasonous Tale In On-Going Episodes

The Manchurian President is a book that details President Obama's past radical associations and how it has shaped his life and influenced his political philosophy and his presidency. However, there might well be a more literal component to the title that is just as if not more accurate than the premise of the book.

Consider-Obama has gone out of his way to limit and in some cases kill oil exploration and development, both off shore and on government owned lands. And while he swears he has done nothing to curtail development on privately owned lands, there is little doubt that his EPA has done everything within and beyond its legitimate power to hamstring such efforts with its oppressive regulatory burdens.

Then of course there's the Keystone Pipeline, which he killed with little fanfare or explanation, ostensibly at the behest of radical environmentalist interests. And while he has since probably for political reasons fast-tracked development of the southern end of the Pipeline, from Oklahoma to the Gulf, the curtailment of the Canadian Pipeline, which spent years in negotiation in order to meet the most stringent regulatory requirements, can only be seen as a disastrous consequence of an environmental and an energy policy that is at odds with any reasonable development or expansion of energy derived from fossil fuels.

Moreover, it is noteworthy that while this hurts the US, it does not hurt Canada, who will now have another partner in the Pipeline venture, while will now veer east towards the Pacific, the main beneficiaries being now the Chinese.

And incidentally, it is the Chinese who most stand to benefit from the tax dollars Obama poured into Brazil's development of their own oil reserves. It's also worth noting here that Obama is also pouring US tax dollars into Brazil's fledgling nuclear energy industry. 

And as has been pointed out, the Obama Administration's recent threat of a lawsuit against the Chinese over their cutback in export of raw metals imports can probably be seen as political posturing in an election year, after which it is highly doubtful anything significant will come of it, other than possibly some agreement which is already in the bag.

Everything Obama has done in fact seems to be for the benefit of China's energy needs at the expense of our own, while in the meantime Obama continues to pile up ever more massive debt, while demanding ever more. Debt which will likely be purchased in large part by-the Chinese.

It's not a pretty picture, but the sad, tragic fact seems to be that Obama's most successful capitalist initiative might well be his on-going efforts to buy us all, and then sell us-to China.

Music Of Ancient Rome

Easter Is Coming-Hey I Know, Let's Have A Used Rubber Hunt

Those little rascals are becoming a real problem. In fact, they're even approaching ecological disaster stage at Chinese Universities. And its gotten so widespread, a Chinese daughter bought her single-parent father a box of condoms for his birthday.

And then there was the time a four year old found a used discarded condom in a hotel room and, thinking it was a balloon, tried to blow it up, resulting in his contracting genital herpes. In his mouth.

They are everywhere, and not just in our back alleys and dumpsters either. They are in our public parks. They are on our beaches. They are everywhere. So what can we do? I call on GOP candidate Rick Santorum to speak out on this matter. Since he said that Protestant Christians who practice birth control aren't truly Christian, he should take the lead. Instead of passing out Etch-A-Sketches at Romney events, why not have a national drive to collect used condoms? Since Easter and the Vernal Equinox are both at their core fertility festivals, what better time to establish a nationwide used condom hunt? We could probably collect tens of thousands or more in no time flat. Then comes the fun part.

With DNA analysis being at its current state, it should be no problem to determine the identity of both sexual partners, though it might be difficult to determine the female's identity in those cases where the used rubbers have been left out in the rain. But in those cases where both partners can be easily determined, we give them a choice. Either pay a hefty fine, spend some time in jail, or agree to have the discarded semen inseminated inside the vagina of the woman in whom by all rights it should have been entered. I call on Rick Santorum to make a clear, concise, principled stand. After all, each drop of cum in a condom represents potentially thousands of human lives that have just been heartlessly, callously discarded. Don't get me wrong. I know its not going to be easy. After all, humans have used condoms since ancient times.

  But that's all the more reason why we need a man of vision to lead this important mission. A man named Santorum. Come on Rick. Let's show some leadership on this vital issue.

Resistance Is Not Just Futile-It's Meaningless

I've bitched and moaned for years about the great Romneylan Empire and the determination of its leader to annex this quadrant, but there comes a time when enough is enough. Romney is going to be the GOP nominee, barring, well, an act of God. For me, that act would entail everything at the GOP convention in Tampa falling apart and going straight to hell, whereupon a brokered convention results in a draft of Sarah Palin. She accepts, not out of a sense of duty, but out of a sense of inspiration.

Or, if not Palin, maybe Bachmann. Or even Perry.

But Santorum, or even Newt? Sorry, that's just not happening and its delusional to believe otherwise. And frankly, at this stage I wouldn't even give a shit if it did happen. It wouldn't be an act of God, that's for damn sure. Do the math there.

But barring a real miracle, we now have two options. Support Mitt, or stay home this year and wait for 2016. Just ask yourself, can we even afford that later option?

With this in mind, I am here to reluctantly announce-

Beam me aboard that old Romneylan Bird Of Prey.
Sorry folks, its time to accept reality and move on.

Fuck You Too Jesse Waters

I'm no big fan of any university in or out of the Ivy League, but when Jesse Watters said tonight on The O'Reilly Factor that there wasn't exactly any Mensa members represented in the SEC, that wasn't just a slam at the SEC, that was a slam at Middle America. He singled out in particular The University of Kentucky and the University of Alabama. If the little prick had bothered to do some research he would know that UK is a top research university.

But hey, why let facts get in the way of a few cheap laughs? The problem is, there's nothing remotely funny or even slightly humorous about "Watter's World". Stupid questions delivered in an edited montage aiming at the lowest common denominator while obviously encouraging vapid responses, and always interspersed with irrelevant film or tv clips, all of which falls flat as an exercise in humor.

O'Reilly should be ashamed of himself, and he should apologize for the actions of this fucking little jerkwad.

By the way, go on the O'Reilly Factor Fox website at your own risk. I started to provide a link to the clip in question but it made my computer crash, so fuck that. Take my word for it, Jess Watters is a banal little prick, he's not funny, and Bill O'Reilly looks like a big enough jerk on most nights without having this little piece of shit make him look even worse.

Here Comes-The Governor

And you thought Hershel was an idiot?

Well its not really that bad. The little girl zombie being kissed by The Governor isn't really his daughter, its actually the reanimated cadaver of his former niece. Besides, hey, he pulled out all her teeth first. The Governor may be a lot of things, but he is no idiot.

And now, we know for a fact that he will be a central character and the major villain of the sixteen episode season three of The Walking Dead. In fact, a top-notch British actor has been cast for the role of the loathsome villain. His name is David Morrissey.

So fans of The Walking Dead comic book series will have at least one of their top ten wishes fulfilled for the television series.

And there's even a rumor that another fan favorite, Michonne, might make an appearance here soon, possibly in the up-coming season two finale. If this is true, and the tv script is at all faithful to the Robert Kirkman comics, it does not bode well for her character, or for the governor.

Daytona 500-It Wasn't About Danica Patrick

And that makes me happy, because I've already about had it with this broad. She's all about marketing and self-promotion, which is why if you even know who she is you probably know what ninety percent of her body looks like. And hey, that would be fine, except for the unfortunate fact that well, frankly she's not all that. Now if she marketed herself as an example for "full-figured" (ie, "fat") women to emulate, she might do all right, because this chick is, let's face it, rather "big-boned". Her ankles are like a cross between Hillary Clinton and a baby elephant. In other words, invisible. Not her legs though, you can see those tree trunks just fine, thank you. And she's god damned determined that, sooner or later, see them you will, and eventually everything else that goes with them.

Yet, she has the chutzpah to get all huffy about being referred to as sexy, that she doesn't want to be thought of that way (no worries here, sweet cheeks). One sports reporter called her a bitch. Hey, bitch is as bitch does, but regardless, he felt obliged (probably forced) to apologize.

Then she had a wreck during a qualifying run for the Indy 500 and got pushed to the back of the pack. A couple of days later she wrecked again in a practice run, and in an obscenity-laced tirade blamed her teammate. (the only thing she could blame for the first accident was the fucking wall she crashed into), Despite all this Danica has her defenders, one of whom blamed the Daily Caller and Smitty of The Other McCain for her misfortune. Why? Okay, if you insist. 

In a bout of what is probably serial cluelessness, she recently answered a question by The Daily Caller about the recent health care insurance, contraceptive imbroglio by saying she trusts the government to make the right decision. Not much room for interpretation there. She is either somebody who really believes the government should have that kind of power, or she actually thought that would be the best way to dodge the question and possibly alienate her legions of fans, including evidently a good many horny men who probably haven't had a piece of ass aside from their own hands in years.  Whatever the case, Smitty also jumped on the critical bandwagon, along with some others, and according to fanboy slim this was probably all on her mind and caused her misfortunes on the track. Yes, seriously.

By now, I was hoping for the first time for somebody to come in dead last in a sporting event. I didn't get that wish. Oh, she didn't win. Matt Kenseth was the winner, edging out Dale Earnhardt Jr who finished second. Danica, who started out at number 36, got pushed back to 40 (after being involved in yet another accident during the second lap of the race), and managed to claw her way back to number 38. Like her overall career both as an Indy and as a NASCAR driver-and for that matter as a nearly nude model-a lackluster, mediocre performance at best.

No doubt Troglopundit and myriads of others who insist she is "good for NASCAR" will try to blame her poor showing on the accident, or these other distractions. But I have to wonder-if she is this easily distracted, maybe she should find another line of work. Maybe a hostess. Not a waitress, though. The last thing any of her hapless male worshipers need is a pot of hot coffee dumped in their laps.

Hurt

It's Johnny's Birthday H/T Michele Bachmann

Sacramento Teen Janelle Kelly Missing, Please Help Friends Find Her