Kinky For Governor-Really Now

Sometimes comedians, like con artists, start to take themselves way too seriously, and it starts to show, it's almost a sign of a disintegrating personality disorder. Kinky Friedman is a 60 year old singer and comedian, and native of the Lone Star State, who has been involved in politics on various levels for years now. But it was always more or less taken to be a kind of satire, sort of like Pat Paulson's run for the Presidency during the 1968 election campaign. His forum at this time was the old Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. He seemed to be dead serious, in that deap-pan sort of way he had, but of course no one took him serious, even if at times you really had to wonder if he might have been.

With Kinky it's a different story. A good many of his positions belie any notion of seriousness. For example, his solution to the Mexican Border problem involves something called :The Five Mexican General's" Plan. As he explained this morning on radio's "Imus In The Morning", the plan is simplicity itself, and foolproof. You pay five Mexican generals to patrol five distinct areas of the Mexican/Texas Border, to the tune of a million dollars per year, for each general. You put this money into a special fund for each one, a fund to which they have no access until the end of each year. During that time, you subtract five thousand dollars for each Mexican caught at the border of any given general's jurisdiction. At the end of the year they receive the balance, at which point another million dollars is put into the fund for the next year.

He has a slew of celebrity supporters, many of whom he has promised to appoint to various posts of his administration. Willie Nelson, for example, he has suggested as the head of what would be the newly created department for the development of Bio-Diesel fuel. He has further promised that he would be the first Texas Governor to have an open telephone line. Any constituent can call him at any time he or she wants, to voice any complaints. Well, you don't say.

Don Imus, a long-time friend of Kinky's, seems to be struggling with the notion of making a political contribution, something he did once before in years past when "The Kinkster" ran for some minor post. He also seems to be struggling with the notion that this campaign might actually be becoming a serious proposition. After all, who could resist supporting a man who runs for the governorship of texas with complaints against the on-going "wussification" of Texas? A man who points out that, if elected, he would be the first independent Governor of the state since Sam Houston?

Your immediate sentiment is to support him, to hope that he wins, if for no other reason than to send a message about the political corruption and cronyism inherent in the states two party political process, enhanced and broadened over the years by career politicians and their big-money contributors, as well as the myriad of pencil pushing bureaucrats who are doing little more than living off the public dime. In the meantime, very little gets done, in texas, like in a great many other places. Maybe the recent elections of Arnold Schwarzeneggar, and Jesse Ventura of Minnesota before him, have emboldened the aging cult star. He does seem serious. But then again, remember, so did Pat Paulson.

In a way, I admit it, I hope he wins, even though I don't honestly believe he has a chance. At least I hope he manages to get on the ballot. If he gets the fifty thousand signatures he needs, which he has to accumulate after the up-and-coming party primaries in Texas, he is on. Of course, those who vote in the primary will be ineligible to sign his petition, and so, in what may be a concise clue as to the seriousness of his intentions, he is encouraging Texas voters to not vote in the primary, in order to sign said petition. I do hope he gets on, and I do hope he wins. If he is serious about running, there's a good chance he all ready realizes that being the governor of Texas is no laughing matter, though for a very short time it might be one.