The Way-I Hope-To Stop Smoking

I used to smoke more than two packs a day, then I eventually cut down to a pack and a half. As of the last Summer Solstice, I finally decided, I've had it with this shit. From that time on, I've got myself down to between 16 and 18 cigarettes a day, down from between 26 and 30. In other words I've almost cut it in half, just over the last week. And it's not really been that hard, not hard at all. In the meantime, I've figured something out. There's only one way to stp smoking, and it's not cold turkey. Oh, sure, there's people that's done that. But I, for one, don't intend to go through the rest of my life fighting the craving for cigarettes. You see, I've figured out, in order to quit forever, you have to want to stop smoking more than you want to smoke. The minute a person wants to smoke more than he wants to quit, he is either going to go back to smoking, or he is going to remain miserable, to at least some degree. And I hate misery.

But the longer a habitual smoker goes without smoking, the more he is going to want to smoke. And the more likely he is to, in time, give in to that urge. Therefore, by cutting down gradually, you are keeping it on an even keel, keeping your desire to quit at least even with your desire to smoke, until, eventually, the desire to quit gets stronger and stronger. And then, hopefully, you can quit all together.

So, I am keeping it at the level it now is, until Lughnasadh (August 2nd) at which point I'll cut down some more. I'll keep at that level, then, until Mabon (Autumn Equinox), at which point I'll cut down then some more. I should be able to quit all together by Samhain (October 31st) or, failing that, by the time the sun reaches it's next conjunction with the planet Pluto, around December 12th of this year.

I've always thought this was a better plan than quitting cold turkey, I just never could stay with it. But then again, thanks to the deities, I now understand the mechanics involved, and knowledge is faith giving, life affirming, and, as they say, empowering. So that shall be my mantra. I want to smoke. But I want to quit more. I want to quit more than I want to smoke. As long as I keep it at that level, I should be okay. The minute I get myself to the level where I want to smoke more, say for example by trying to cut back too much too soon, until I have a build up of nicotine desire that suddenly explodes in full fury, it's back to square one. And two, and three, and four, even if I have to pick up discarded "squares" off the street.

Summer Solstice

Tomorrow is the summer solstice, which of course is more than just the first day of summer, it is a Pagan High Holy Day. I'm, a solitary, of course, so I will have to do without the camaraderie that accompanies group events, but the idea is still there. Yep, the old sun god will be riding high, at the full force of his power, and the goddess will be-well, she'll do the goddess thing. Funny how with the advent of Christianity, the significance of the seasonal holidays were all but lost. But it is easy to see how ancient peoples would have been inspired by the recurring seasons, the return of the sun on a periodic basis, the phases of the moon, all those environmental and astronomical aspects that go largely unnoticed by non-Pagans.

It's fun being a pagan. You can smoke, drink, watch porn, jack off, or fuck all day, and it's not just all right, it's sacred. Provided you do it responsibly, of course. And, if somebody smacks you up the side of the head, you can knock his fucking teeth down his throat, and it's all right to feel good about it afterwards. Of course, none of this is what Paganism is all about. Paganism is all about the revering of nature, of the worship of nature and all the earth, of seeing the world, nature, and all of life as aspects of the divine. And of seeing the balance and harmony of nature as exemplified by the duality of the deities, the Goddess as well as the God. It is respect for the earth and nature, and all living creatures, yet not in a maudlin sort of way. It is a religion of practicality. Humans are, after all, at the top of the food chain, and I like a big juicy steak as much as the next guy. So to slaughter an animal for food, as long as that is the reason, and as long as you do it humanely, is fine.

It is about respect for the rule of law, yet it is about seeking positive change, be it politically, socially, or with ritual and magic. And it is about respecting all points of view, yet demanding the same consideration for yourself.

I can't wait for tomorrow. Hell, I can't wait for tonight. It's going to be a long, hopefully eventful, fruitful day. As such, it might be another day or two before this Blog is updated. But when I return to it, hopefully it will be with a fresh batch of inspiration, as well as a healthy dose of good old bull shit, just to round things out. Remember, it's all about balance.