And I think that was probably the reason this myth of the late Kim Jong Il was removed from the North Korean website. Not that anybody really told them that. Some things don't require a direct rebuttal, you just say them and watch the automatic reaction you get.
Some myths, however, die hard, and there was plenty of mythologizing during the life and relatively brief tenure of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il-the Dear Leader who left this mortal vale sometime in the wee hours on the 20th of December.
His very death was the stuff of myth. Turns out he was too superhuman to die by any ordinary means. Hell, this was a man who who drunk north of 70,000 gallons of Hennessy Cognac a year with no ill effects. But die he did, from overwork on behalf of the people of North Korea whom he so dearly loved.
And the people of North Korea dearly loved him as well, as witnessed the countless throngs of North Koreans who turned out for his funeral procession, crying, some stomping the ground in agonizingly intense sadness, expressing pangs of remorse, and even guilt. Here are some of them expressing their profound grief, as a giant smiling picture of Kim Jong Il beams down in heavenly radiance from on high, watching them with that laughing, mirthful expression which was his wont.
You see, Kim Jong Il's moods controlled the weather. If it was a bright, sunny day, that meant that Kim was happy. If it was foggy, he was sad. If he was raining, he must have been crying. And so on and so forth.
Some western wags had the temerity to suggest that the expressions of grief at Dear Leaders funeral were staged and choreographed. But how then did they manage to choreograph displays of grief from Nature itself? Explain that one! Who made the ice crack open on the mountain where he was born? Who choreographed the owls who grieved at his death? Who stage managed the dove that appeared on his statue in a loving attempt to kick the snow off the shoulders of the image of Dear Leader?
Kim did not merely perform miracles. His life was one on-going, never ending miracle, beginning with his birth, which transpired under a double rainbow and heralded the birth of a new star.
Courtney at GrEaT sAtAnS gIrLfRiEnD provides documented evidence of the greatness of Kim Jung Il which even preceded the death of his godlike father, the late Kim Il Sung. The junior Kim told his great, magnificent father that he would destroy the world because, after all, what use would the world be if North Korea ceased to exist.
But Kim Jung Il was more than a mere godlike warrior bent on sacred war. He also enjoyed divine pursuits of a more peaceable nature. The first time he went bowling he made a perfect score of 300, and the first time he played golf, he achieved seven holes in one.
There is more to his legacy, of course, much much more, but there is one thing he accomplished for which I, for one, shall be eternally grateful.
You see, Kim Jung Il, the light of the world-invented the hamburger.
Yes, you read that right. Kim Jung Il, who was born in 1942, invented the hamburger, for which western imperialists tried to deny him the credit by ridiculously fabricating stories of its supposed invention by debauched western capitalists in the nineteenth century Haw Haw Haw Haw. Some people will swallow anything.
Thankfully though Kim's legacy is sure to live on, through the documented evidence in possession of the North Korean government. And he also has devotees outside the advanced nation he ruled and strengthened for so long. For example, here is a picture from the website Kim Jong Il Looking At Things which catalogs Kim's overseeing of all aspects of the Korean nation, including its economy, manufacturing and production, always eager to pronounce his blessing on all endeavors that might contribute to the betterment of his country and its people.
"Ahhh, so here is this so-called toilet paper I've been hearing so much about"
Naturally, there are still those skeptics who deny Kim's superhuman attributes, cynically asserting it was no more than a way for the North Korean regime to keep its people in thrall by means of a state sanctioned cult of personality.
But Caleb Wilde, an evangelical Christian, points out that there may not be a lot of difference in the devotion with which North Koreans have been instilled from the earliest ages towards Kim Jung Il and his family, and that which many Christians have been raised to hold towards Christ himself, and that we should not assume the North Korean people are any less sincere in their degree of devotion or their exhibitions of same.
Luckily for the people of North Korea, the death of Kim Jung Il need nor herald the end of all they hold near and dear. The fact that it occurred so auspiciously close to the New Year may indeed herald the dawning of a New Year, and a New Age, one in which their fortunes will be overseen by the ascension of a new God in the person of Kim's son, Kim Jung Un.
Yes, Kim is gone, and its a New Year. But for the people of North Korea, it looks like nothing will really change at all.
