Elisha Cuthbert-Hockey Whore

Wow, is it all right if I not give a damn about Elisha Cuthbert and her evidently seldom vacant vagina? Dude was right, she is his sloppy seconds, and all he was doing was pointing out that his fellow hockey players are acting like a bunch of dogs going after the nearest bitch in heat. So what? If she weren't a famous actress she would probably be passed from team to team, as opposed to just player to player. I admit I would hit that too, but only with three layers of latex.

You can always spot a phony press-agent composed apology. Check this-

"I would like to sincerely apologize for my off-color remarks to the press yesterday from Calgary.

"I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate. It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actions were. I caused unnecessary embarrassment to my peers as well as people I have been close with in the past.

"I apologize for offending the great fans of the NHL, the commissioner, my teammates, my coaching staff and the Dallas Stars management and ownership. As many of you know, I like to mix it up on and off the ice from time to time, but understand that this time I took it too far."

Earth to Sean Avery-you were never "close" to the ho, you just fucked her, and a lot of fans don't seem to even get that you were referring to her. Evidently you should have named her specifically in your "apology" and then begged for forgiveness.

Sean Avery should be reinstated with back pay for his six-game suspension. If he should be suspended for anything, it should be the Dallas Stars who suspend him, not the league, for being a mediocre at best player, which was probably the reason Cuthbert hopped onto another player. After all, a big star can't be bothered with someone that proves himself less than first rate on the ice. The bedroom is probably irrelevant, as she seems to only fuck her friends, and everybody she knows is her friend. Just ask Justin Timberlake, his friends, and the other two hockey pucks she's bedded since fucking Avery.

Who rates fifteen million dollars for a four-year contract anyway? Sean Avery was supposed to be worth it, but he just has not performed to expectations. That's what real hockey fans care about, not whether some spoiled Hollywood bitch gets her itty-bitty feewings hurt, or whether her current cum-donor feels somewhat belittled.