Guest Blogger On Minneapolis Bridge Disaster

SPECIAL NOTE FROM THE PAGAN TEMPLE:

I am happy and proud to now present a first person eye-witness account of the Minneapolis Bridge Collapse disaster. I thereby introduce Leftist Radical Riley Flubbs. Mr. Flubbs has enjoyed a distinquished career as a left-wing activist since the glory days of the sixties, when he took part in various anti-war protests throughout the nation, particularly in the Minneapolis/St. Paul Minnesota area.


Naturally, I felt it was appropriate that Mr. Flubbs be presented a forum in which he might present his own unique perspective as to the events leading up to this tragedy, and it's imediate aftermath, and his thoughts as to what this portends for the future.

Disclaimer: The following editorial does not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs or positions of The Pagan Temple.


So, without further ado, it is my great privilege to present to you, the great Riley Flubbs:




Hello, my name is Riley Flubbs, and I am a Leftist Radical and an old nineteen sixties hippy. I haven’t had a bath in forty years, nor do I ever shower. I look at it this way-germs have as much a right to live as I do. All life, no matter how small or “insignificant”, has a soul. But thanks to American selfishness and Big Business greed, Proctor And Gamble have got most folks addicted to soap, deodorant, and shampoo, unconcerned as to the Germ Holocaust they willingly perpetuate on a daily basis.

I was on my way to a demonstration the other day, a protest against the Iraq War, when the evil George Chimpy Bush almost accomplished two of his most cherished goals in one fell swoop. Had he succeeded, your faithful guest blogger/reporter would not only have been silenced, but my cherished multi-cultural metropolis of Botulin, Influenza, Syphilis, and E Coli would have perished forever, when the bridge in Minneapolis collapsed over the Mississippi River.

By the grace of Gaea, I am here with you today. I never drive, not even a so-called electric or hybrid car, which after all is just another tool of the Multi-Cultural New World Order to insure our slavish devotion through dependency. For that matter, anybody that buys and operates such a vehicle is listed on the FBI’s Secret Most Wanted List, and you can bet those vehicles have been bugged, and you are being monitored. No thank you, I will stick to my trusty ten-speed.

Unfortunately, my high ethical standards almost cost me my life that day, and when I felt the bridge buckling in such a way as I never before felt, I stopped and uttered a quick prayer to Gaea. People were honking their horns, shouting hateful things, while others stopped and asked me if I was all right. I took one look at them, and once I saw they shared my accursed devilish white genes, I realized they were merely feigning concern, so I ignored them and went on with my praying. One motorist who stopped and asked if I needed help was black, come to think of it, but he did not talk like an authentic black man. In fact, he sounded suspiciously like Lester Holt, so I ignored him as well.

I got the distinct impression through my psychic third eye that Gaea was urging me to hurry. I did, and made it across the bridge. Not too long afterwards, the bridge collapsed. Though the evil, doubtless Dick MacHalliburton Cheney-conceived plot failed in taking my life, a good many of their expendable corporate lackeys and fascist bootlickers were also spared that day, and so it was a glorious, happy day all around. Had my prayers not spurred Gaea to hold out longer, more of them would have died than turned out to be the case. Therefore, our wicked, amoral government will have to come up with another way to put all those social security and pension funds back into the kitty. The fact that all of their brainwashed sheeple have survived to perpetuate more of their capitalist evil is just an unfortunate consequence. Don’t blame me, I feel bad enough about it as it is.

I later realized, my death was not the main purpose for this act of sabotage by Bu$hCo. No, that was only a little would-be extra bonus for the fascists. The main reason, of course, was to invent an excuse to invade Minnesota. Any day now, they will send those jack-booted thugs known as The Army Corps of “Engineers”, which will soon be an army of occupation. They will then use their presence in Minneapoilis as a base of operations in preparation for the day of the next Presidential election. If their evil plot succeeds, they will make sure Minnesota is solidly in the Republican camp.

They will do this under the pretext of designing and constructing a safe bridge over the Mississippi River. Of course, there are no safe bridges, because bridges, of course, are unnatural, just like cities and sewer systems, reservoirs and dams. Just another way for the evil human race to deface the planet with no regard for the trillions of lives with which we share our glorious planet.

Nevertheless, they will be there, conducting their studies and considering their different plans and designs, all for the purpose of enabling people to travel back and forth to and from their accursed “work” in their beastly automobiles, al the while belching their poisonous fumes into the skies above us.

And I don’t want to hear anybody refer to the Army Corps of Engineers as “heroes”. That’s just more propaganda from the Bu$hitler regime. Old Chimpy knows what he’s doing. If you oppose this monstrous yet inevitable bridge building project, then you will be accused of being unpatriotic. If you “Support the Troops”, then you by extension have to support the Bridge.

Of course, the Democratic Party is a bunch of cowardly wusses and corporate sell-outs, so they will repeat the tired old mantra of “Support the Troops”, but I say a jackboot thug is just another brownshirt, regardless of nation of origin.

I have a question for George Dubya Boooosh. If this project is so important, where are your fucking daughters, Barbara and Jenna? Will they be stepping up to volunteer to work on the bridge rebuilding project? Why are they not in the fucking Army Corps of Engineers?

Is it because they are daddy’s little girls, and so they are too fucking good? Or maybe like most wealthy, spoiled little brats, they just don’t care about anybody but themselves?

On the other hand, maybe it is because they are just like their dumbass fucking daddy-

Unqualified.