Monday, January 16, 2012

Post-Season

Let's talk football, something I've generally lost most of my interest in over the last few years. But if this seasons post-season playoff games thus far are any indication, we might be in for a wild and wooly couple of championship games, and hopefully Super Bowl.

Granted, with the exception of Denver's overtime victory over Pittsburgh (a game I unfortunately missed), the wild card games were blow-outs. Most people were shocked, shocked I say at Denver's ultimate victory, but let's face it, the game turned out the way it way supposed to turn out. Conference champions are supposed to beat the wild cards. Still people went nuts. Christian fans of Denver quarterback Tim Tebow started pointing to the recurrence of the number 316 (from the scripture John 3:16 the young Florida State quarterback Tebow wore in greasepaint under his eyes, a signature he was required to drop upon entry to the NFL). So what is the significance anyway?

Well you know, Tebow thew for 316 yards, and GET THIS HE ALSO AVERAGED 31.6 YARDS A PASS, NOW DON'T THAT PROVE SOMETHING? (Answer-yes, it proves he completed ten passes)

The Cinci loss to Houston was a hella heart breaker, but really, what are we to expect after all these years? Let's be thankful there are no tigers native to America. Thanks to the Bengals, if some kids were wandering in the woods and a tiger crossed their paths, they'd just say, "Oh its just a stupid fucking Bengal."

I almost felt just as bad for the Lions in their loss to New York. You start to wonder if it might be bad luck to name your professional sports team after a jungle cat, until you realize that the Lions practically dominated the NFL in the nineteen fifties.

And of course, to no ones surprise, the Falcons were similarly eviscerated by the Saints.

Once the wild card games were over and done with, we moved on to some games that were in my opinion football at its best. In fact, in my opinion the San Francisco-New Orleans game might have been the best game I've seen in several years, and I've seen a few good ones in that span of time. I told people not to underestimate the Niners, but did they listen? Of course not. Never mind they have the best defense in the NFC they are in the weakest conference in the NFC so they cant be that good right? Never mind that they dominated their conference. I found myself rooting for Alex Smith almost as much as Christians rooted for Tebow, and he did not disappoint, proving to be as much of a factor over an impressive Saints team as their lauded defensive squad.

Speaking of Tebow, whom I like and respect, when it came time for the Broncs to go up against the Pats, we got the predictable David versus Goliath schpiel. And of course, the game turned out as I predicted. In fact, if you saw the game (I didn't) I have an idea you saw a pretty good rendition of what the real David would have gotten if the real Goliath had managed to get his hands on him-a spanking.

But no, if there was any hint of divine intervention in any of these games, you would have needed to look no further than the Baltimore-Houston match-up. That was another great game, though it was apparent to me Baltimore was going to come out on top. Granted, Houston played a great game, but the dominance of Baltimore's defenseive squad, along with quarterback Flacco, reigned supreme, his passing efforts superhuman in scope, yet matched by the dogged determination and skill of not one but two different receivers, one of whom caught an impossible pass way down field, inches from the out-of-bounds line with a defender practically all up in his ass. And he caught the damn ball one-handed. And somehow he managed to make it look easy. Near the end a Baltimore defensive player recovered a fumble whereupon the offensive squad took it to the one-yard line-where they were stopped short on fourth down and had to turn the ball over. But the game was nevertheless to all intents and purposes over by this point.

Now I have to wonder if the game of the season might be not the Super Bowl, but the AFC Championship game between the Ravens and the Pats. The NFC Championship game upcoming between the Giants and the Niners, well that might be a whole nuther ball game. Pity the poor Packers, humiliated at Lambeau Field by a perpetually underestimated Eli Manning after producing the best all around record of the season. I mean let's face it, by the time the Pack achieved a record of 13-0 they had it so sewn up they could afford to take it easy for the rest of the season. How fucking bad-ass is that? Yet the Giants came to town and decimate them by seventeen points in what was probably the worst game of the post-season, based on the prevailing wisdom prior to the first snap. It was definitely the worst post-season game showing in all of Green Bay history. Now New York goes on to Candlestick.

And I have to admit, I am greatly disappointed. How hilarious would it have been to see that Championship advertised over television?

Stay tuned for the NFC Championship Game-

SAN FRANCISCO TAKES ON THE PACKERS.

Then again, San Francisco playing with Packers is an old joke by now, right?

My predictions for the remainder of the post-season? Not going to pretend to have a clue.




Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Romney Empire And It's Great Bird Of Prey


Bain Capital-it sounds like Bane. But are they really malefactors, the Vulture Capitalists as described by Rick Perry? Are they really deserving of the recent attack ad by supporters of Newt Gingrich, which has been described as being as vicious as anything ever cooked up by the left? And this is coming from Daily Kos!

Probably not. Private equity firms such as Bain play a vital role in any kind of capitalist system, the healthy ones as well as those which are grievously wounded, such as our own. They recognize there will always be winners and losers. Bain has probably saved more jobs on balance than they have devoured. They have created success stories from the ashes of creative destruction. Some companies, such as Staples, have survived thanks to Bain, and gone on to prosper, expand, and thrive.

And of course, there have been failures. There will always be some of those. That's also the risk of private equity. But on balance, in the case of Bain Capital, there have been more success stories than failures. There have been more jobs saved, and created, than lost. Much, much more.

Thus, when you attack Bain Capital, this great Bird Of Prey of the Romneylan Empire, they simply throw up their deflector shields and ward off your phaser attack. That's because you are engaging in a frontal assault against their strongest, most easily defensible positions.

But in the meantime, they employ their cloaking device when it comes to their truly malefic aspects. No one truly sees where they are coming from, and from where they derive their true strength. Few manage to pierce beyond the veil. But they should, because its power source isn't at all the power of the free-enterprise system, but the largesse of crony capitalism. And that system is itself enabled by the labyrinthine maze of red tape and regulations that make up the most offensive, counter-productive regulatory system in history.

It is a system which requires extensive time in the form of non-productive labor and draining of capital expenditure in order for any business to survive, and under which relatively few will thrive. This has been true since the days of the New Deal, but then, the damage was nowhere near as incalculable. It has since that time grown steadily over the decades, much like a cancer which has only now metastisized with the implementation of such onerous regulatory regimes as Sarbannes-Oxley, Dodd-Frank, and of course The Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare. These legislative and bureaucratic monstrosities have already adversely affected job creation and business profitability (and in many cases business survival)-and they have not yet even been implemented.

They need to be repealed, scrapped. But we should not stop with them. There are many more examples of laws and regulatory regimes that should be buried under the ash heap of history. Fannie And Freddie should be broken up and sold off to private interests. The FDA and the EPA should be scrapped, or at least massively scaled back, and made to be reactive agencies as opposed to the proactive monstrosities that actively look for the slightest excuse to levy fines and injunctions. All of these government boondoggles should be either scrapped or reined in sharply, and several cabinet departments should be phased out as well.

The dirty little secret here is, if this were done, and taxes were lowered significantly and the tax code itself simplified, the economy would grow by such leaps and bounds that entitlements could be saved with nothing more than relatively minor reforms.

Unfortunately, a moderate Republican like Romney is highly unlikely to do that, not because he is a moderate, a squish-a "RINO", if you will. No, it is simply because Romney's company, Bain Capital, that great bird of prey, like many other private equity firms, have thrived under the current regulatory system.

True, there will always be business failures, due to bad management or a flawed business model, even under the best of economies, and companies like Bain will always thrive to a point by buying these companies and when possible turning them around.

But does anybody seriously believe for one minute that Bain would be nearly as successful as it has been under a sound economy with a bare minimum of regulatory interference, no more than necessary. Let's get real here. Our regulatory system has created an atmosphere that is conducive to business failure as it contributes in large to the sluggishness of our economy. I won't venture to say what percentage of business failures are directly attributable to our oppressive regulatory regimes, but I do know that it has to be significant. Common sense tells you that.

So why should we trust Mitt Romney to significantly reform our economy? Why should we take him seriously when he says we need smaller government? Lower taxes? Less regulations?

Bain Capital at one point made investments in companies that specializes in green energy technology. Then voila, at some point, Mitt Romney declared himself a believe in Anthropogenic Global Climate Change. And of course, green energy. It does not take a rocket scientist-or a solar panel technician-to realize he was looking out for his own financial interests, and that of his company.

Why should we then trust him to reform a regulatory system that has enabled him and his company to grow, and to thrive, to a much greater extent than it ordinarily would have?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

One Of The Best Animal Videos Ever

I know this is probably going to be one of the most watched videos ever by the end of the week, but there's a reason for that. It's just too damn cool for me not to post it.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Some Friendly Advice From The Empress Livia

Last nights sad spectacle of a debate in New Hampshire was a disappointment, to say the least. Mitt won, only by virtue of no one laying a hand on him. Santorum was restrained. Gingrich was cautious. Paul was still nutty, but he seemed-well, medicated, perhaps? Huntsman, feeling it was perhaps his last chance to shine, exhibited his depth of knowledge by-speaking Mandarin. I guess he figured he would prove he was a man of accomplishment, a man who knew whereof he spoke. Unfortunately, I don't think anybody has yet figured out what the hell he was saying. As for Perry, he horrified us all with the news that the Iranians have apparently not only developed nuclear capabilities, but have somehow managed to acquire 22nd century Warp Drive technology as well.

Are these guys really auditioning for Republican presidential nominee? I started to think at first they might actually be trying for a position on next year's Cincinnati Bengals squad.

Granted, this mornings debate on NBC was much better. Santorum was more assertive, Gingrich was his old feisty self, and everybody went after Mitt, who nevertheless held up somewhat well. Paul was slightly less medicated. Huntsman gave all his responses in English-his second language. And Perry still evidently hasn't figured out that Congress actually gets a vote on their pay and their work schedule.

But, as much as an improvement as it was over last nights, and many other preceding debates, they have a ways to go. I think they need somebody to give them a pep talk. Because let's face it, what with what is ahead for the winner in the general election, its time to hone the old killer instinct.

 

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Rage Of The Paultards

Since Ron Paul came in third in the Iowa caucuses, the Paultards are livid with rage, and now claim the process was subverted, by-Jews. That's right, Jews, acting in conjunction with the Federal Reserve and Establishment Republicans who are determined Ron Paul will not be the GOP nominee. What's more, they knew it all along.

According to them, well see for yourself-



The short version goes something like this, in part. Paul's old newsletters were written years ago by "disgruntled former employees" who were probably acting as "agent provocateurs" (and they did this for at least ten years, unhindered), CNN had Paul at over 50% in the Iowa polls (which is damn sure news to me), and oh yeah, to paraphrase, "we're going to have to shoot the bastards".

And this is all contained in just the roughly two or three minutes of the 9:05 video I could stand to watch. 

Of course, this is par for the course. Anything that doesn't go the way the Paultards think it should is due to the machinations of some arcane, devious plot by people determined to keep us in bondage to the war machine profiteers, the internationalist bankers, and the career politicians who are in thrall to them all.

And the Paul supporters wonder why people make fun of them.


H/T Anti-Craptastic

In closing, I have to point out here that those who are raging conspiracy theorists are the most likely to become involved in conspiracies themselves. The actions of the Paultard Cult proves this maxim. But just how wide-ranging is the Paultard cult? How devoted are they to their cause? What is the source of their funding? How influential are they in reality? Do they hide in the shadows, ready to strike? In the following video, we see evidence that no less a personage than former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi might have been, in fact, a secret member of the Paultard cult. Ah, but as you will see, even the most fanatical, devoted, and powerful of Paultards can not long conceal his true nature.

Friday, December 30, 2011

A God Is Called To His Eternal Reward

You probably wouldn't be backward or naive enough to believe me if I told you I knew a person who never in his life ever had to go to the bathroom, that never once in his life did he ever have to defecate. More than likely, you would tell me that he or I one was full of shit.

And I think that was probably the reason this myth of the late Kim Jong Il was removed from the North Korean website. Not that anybody really told them that. Some things don't require a direct rebuttal, you just say them and watch the automatic reaction you get.

Some myths, however, die hard, and there was plenty of mythologizing during the life and relatively brief tenure of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il-the Dear Leader who left this mortal vale sometime in the wee hours on the 20th of December.

His very death was the stuff of myth. Turns out he was too superhuman to die by any ordinary means. Hell, this was a man who who drunk north of 70,000 gallons of Hennessy Cognac a year with no ill effects. But die he did, from overwork on behalf of the people of North Korea whom he so dearly loved.

And the people of North Korea dearly loved him as well, as witnessed the countless throngs of North Koreans who turned out for his funeral procession, crying, some stomping the ground in agonizingly intense sadness, expressing pangs of remorse, and even guilt. Here are some of them expressing their profound grief, as a giant smiling picture of Kim Jong Il beams down in heavenly radiance from on high, watching them with that laughing, mirthful expression which was his wont.



You see, Kim Jong Il's moods controlled the weather. If it was a bright, sunny day, that meant that Kim was happy. If it was foggy, he was sad. If he was raining, he must have been crying. And so on and so forth.

Some western wags had the temerity to suggest that the expressions of grief at Dear Leaders funeral were staged and choreographed. But how then did they manage to choreograph displays of grief from Nature itself? Explain that one! Who made the ice crack open on the mountain where he was born? Who choreographed the owls who grieved at his death? Who stage managed the dove that appeared on his statue in a loving attempt to kick the snow off the shoulders of the image of Dear Leader?

Kim did not merely perform miracles. His life was one on-going, never ending miracle, beginning with his birth, which transpired under a double rainbow and heralded the birth of a new star.

Courtney at GrEaT sAtAnS gIrLfRiEnD provides documented evidence of the greatness of Kim Jung Il which even preceded the death of his godlike father, the late Kim Il Sung. The junior Kim told his great, magnificent father that he would destroy the world because, after all, what use would the world be if North Korea ceased to exist.

But Kim Jung Il was more than a mere godlike warrior bent on sacred war. He also enjoyed divine pursuits of a more peaceable nature. The first time he went bowling he made a perfect score of 300, and the first time he played golf, he achieved seven holes in one.  

There is more to his legacy, of course, much much more, but there is one thing he accomplished for which I, for one, shall be eternally grateful.

You see, Kim Jung Il, the light of the world-invented the hamburger.

Yes, you read that right. Kim Jung Il, who was born in 1942, invented the hamburger, for which western imperialists tried to deny him the credit by ridiculously fabricating stories of its supposed invention by debauched western capitalists in the nineteenth century Haw Haw Haw Haw. Some people will swallow anything.

Thankfully though Kim's legacy is sure to live on, through the documented evidence in possession of the North Korean government. And he also has devotees outside the advanced nation he ruled and strengthened for so long. For example, here is a picture from the website Kim Jong Il Looking At Things which catalogs Kim's overseeing of all aspects of the Korean nation, including its economy, manufacturing and production, always eager to pronounce his blessing on all endeavors that might contribute to the betterment of his country and its people.

                                                       
"Ahhh, so here is this so-called toilet paper I've been hearing so much about"

Naturally, there are still those skeptics who deny Kim's superhuman attributes, cynically asserting it was no more than a way for the North Korean regime to keep its people in thrall by means of a state sanctioned cult of personality.

But Caleb Wilde, an evangelical Christian, points out that there may not be a lot of difference in the devotion with which North Koreans have been instilled from the earliest ages towards Kim Jung Il and his family, and that which many Christians have been raised to hold towards Christ himself, and that we should not assume the North Korean people are any less sincere in their degree of devotion or their exhibitions of same.

Luckily for the people of North Korea, the death of Kim Jung Il need nor herald the end of all they hold near and dear. The fact that it occurred so auspiciously close to the New Year may indeed herald the dawning of a New Year, and a New Age, one in which their fortunes will be overseen by the ascension of a new God in the person of Kim's son, Kim Jung Un.

Yes, Kim is gone, and its a New Year. But for the people of North Korea, it looks like nothing will really change at all.



Wednesday, December 28, 2011

What I Got For Christmas-No, Anne Coulter, I Will Not Settle

Rick Santorum is supposedly surging in Iowa, according to one poll (CNN/Time) so Robert Stacy McCain, who has been promoting Santorum ever since his first favored candidate Herman Cain fell out of contention, is one happy camper in the Hawkeye State.

As for me, I have stood steadfastly in Bachmann's corner ever since Palin announced her decision not to run. I still say she's the best of the bunch. She is knowledgeable on all matters, foreign and domestic, as a President should be, and at her best she has a certain Kennedyesque air about her. Unlike Cain, she has been involved in national politics enough to know what she's doing, and talking about, and she doesn't pander even at times when I personally think that might be the best, most practical course of action. For, unlike all the others, she hasn't been absorbed into the political world and its toxic environment long enough to qualify as a career politician. Just long enough to know what needs to be done, and changed, what needs to be retained and/or reformed, while maintaining the dedication and determination to fight for her principles, constitutional principles of small, limited government, federalism, and pro-growth economics. She's also every bit as much of a social conservative as Santorum while not making that the centerpiece of her campaign, which may or may not be smart for the Iowa caucuses, but like I said, she doesn't pander. She'll look you or anybody else dead in the eye and tell you the recent deal to retain the payroll tax cut was a mistake. Which it was, in all honesty, though as a practical matter-well, there you go.

I've resigned myself, almost, to the likelihood that she will not be the GOP nominee, which is a hard pill to swallow. Another thing that would be good about her, like Palin, is that it would be great if the first woman President (and you know that eventually there will be one) were a conservative Republican, one who could be a great role model to counter-balance and possibly even negate the years of insufferable leftist progressive feminism which has plagued the nation for decades now.

But you know something? I know now how Anne Coulter felt when it finally sunk in that Chris Christie, her seemingly first and one true love, would not be the GOP nominee. Anne has settled for Mitt, as a way of staying close to Mitt's supporter Christie, again her one true love.

Well, I won't go that route. I will not "settle". Thanks to the loving, compassionate kindness of a concerned, well, let us call him a "family member", or maybe just a good friend, one whose name I swore I would never divulge, I received a Christmas present that will help me make it though the dark days ahead and see me through what seems destined to be a grave disappointment.

I got it just two days before Christmas in fact, too late to use for a Yule ritual, but not too late to help me celebrate the period of the Nuevo Saturnalia holiday I kind of made up for myself out of thin air.I was going to keep this to myself, and in fact I was strongly advised to do so, but I can't help myself. Allow me to introduce to you my new toy. My new love. My-

Anatomically Correct Battery Operated Full-Sized Michelle Bachmann doll.


So Stacy can keep his Santorum. Let him keep right on bragging of his candidates poll surging. From here on out, every night will see a pole surge for Bachmann. As for Anne Coulter, she can stew in frustration that no reputable company, anywhere, ever, would even think of making a Chris Christie blow-up doll. But hey, who knows, on second thought, maybe she might find somebody willing to produce a custom made job just for her. After all, it doesn't necessarily HAVE to be anatomically correct, does it? I mean, if they make it to her specifications, let's just say I'm sure it would be able to see its own dick, well, if it were alive. Hell, she could have them make her a thinner, a leaner and meaner Chris Christie, as far as that goes.

Let's face it. In this day and age, when you can find a company willing to produce John McCain pornography, you have to be willing to concede that anything is possible.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Steampunk Corset And Other Kinda Semi-Bare Naked Goodness

Via Soylent Green who has more and who you should visit, but I have to share this one, because its still the Holiday Season, and I want you to feel it just like I do. Just remember no matter how often your caress her she can't feel you through your monitor.





Monday, December 26, 2011

#Occupy Christmas Hams

If you're one of these naive sorts all congested with the sickly sweet syrup of the milk of human kindness towards the #Occupy Wall Street movement,Wirecutter over at Knuckledraggin My Life Away has the perfect expectorant, a video from the #Occupy Nashville movement of two fat heifers fighting, on Christmas, originally uploaded to YouTube by Weasel Zippers. One of them, the one in green, is three months pregnant, which is coincidentally about the amount of time these morons have been "Occupying" Nashville. It is never made clear in the report exactly what these two fat bitches are fighting about. From the looks of the two of them I'm guessing maybe a ham hock. 

Other than this, the group as a whole celebrated their Christmas in style, with more naive types, or perhaps kindred spirits, stopping by to donate foooooooood-which is something I doubt any of this bunch has ever had to go very long without, despite all their bullshit rhetoric about the so-called one percent hogging all the wealth. Let's face it, one look at this video and you start to get a good idea as to why any place there is an #Occupy movement, restaurants are forced to shut their doors and food vendors flee in apparent fear for their lives. Or at least their livelihoods.

One things for sure, from the looks of some of these fat asses, the #Occupy movement is not such a recent phenomenon. Many of them look like they've been in the habit for some time now of "Occupying"  the booths of any McDonalds they come across.

Elf-Christmas Horror Short

New video from Meoshabean.



Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Reasoning For The Seasoning

The Flying Spaghetti Monster got his own Nativity Scene at the Leesburg Virginia courthouse. How cool is that? Well, lots of folks think its cool, but others think its not cool. Not cool at all. I guess I see their point. It's seen, probably with some merit, as an attempt to make the Christian faith look foolish and superstitious.



 I can put myself in those shoes. Suppose instead of swallowing a rock disguised as the infant Zeus, Rhea had gifted Cronus with a steaming hot plate of spaghetti monster. He never would have gotten sick and vomited up Zeus's brethren, thus the Titans would have ruled the universe from thenceforth.

Then again, who knows, maybe Cronus would have mellowed out some and demanded continuous servings of spaghetti monster with garlic bread and would have gotten so obese he would have been helpless to defend himself against a grown and matured Zeus. Yeah, that's probably how it would have turned out. All the same. Even the other elder gods might have eventually made their escape, albeit perhaps in somewhat less dignified fashion.

When all's said and done, there's always room for more, and really, how serious a threat to Christendom can one little old spaghetti monster be, even a flying one? It could be worse. Muslim extremists could have easily demanded a Nativity Scene featuring the prophet Mohammed skulking around some alley whispering to the eight-year old Aiesha, the future bride of the prophet, something to the effect, "Psssst, hey little girl do you wanna see something big?"

Chill, people, learn to laugh at yourself, that way it won't sting so bad when others do so. Plus it makes it even funnier when you laugh at them.




Support Lowes

Real world obligations got in the way of my posting over the last couple of weeks, which made me late for Yule and Christmas postings. So its too late now for me to encourage you to do whatevetr Christmas shopping at Lowes as would be practical. But its not too late to urge you to do other off-season shopping at the home improvement giant retailer who has been threatened by Congress over its recent decision to pull advertising from the TLC program All American Muslim. I won't comment on whether Lowe's was justified. Their explanation sounds reasonable enough, that the program is a propaganda piece aimed at promoting the cause of Islam while not addressing the real concerns Americans might have and the conflicts between the values of the religion with traditional American values. Others assert that Lowes is merely kowtowing to the demands of social conservatives in particular a group called the Florida Family Association. What I do know is there is nothing that warrants or justifies Congress or any branch of government threatening Lowes or any other business with sanctions for refusing to advertise for any program, whatever their reasoning.

As might be expected various Muslim groups have called for a boycott of the store. Well and good, no one can force them to shop there. But no one can force you not to shop there either. Here's a good place to start. I didn't know Lowe's also sold Keurig Coffee Makers.



Who needs Starbucks anyway?

Christmas On The Western Front, 1914

Slayer Does Christmas As Only Slayer Could. Or Would



H/T Suicide Girls

You Asked For It

 Grace Jones sings Little Drummer Boy-to Pee Wee Herman



H/T Suicide Girls

Saturday, December 24, 2011

All I Want For Christmas

Richard McEnroe  of Three Beers Later has discovered the perfect satire of what is possibly my all time favorite Christmas song. I would imagine that with this, Melissa McQueen has very much earned herself a place on Ron Paul's naughty list. If I hadn't already been circumcised I'd be willing to go through the ordeal for any one of these ladies, including the old fashioned way via the sharp edge of a stone. 

H/T The Other McCain

If Your Christmas Present Doesn't Seem To Be Working All That Well

Just ask yourself, was there a flaw on the production line. Or was it delivered by FedEx?

H/T Ann Althouse



Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and have a Cool Yule. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

American Horror Story-The REAL Secret Of The "Murder House"

Tonight's the night fans of the show have been waiting for, while wondering what could possibly happen that would top everything that's come before in the course of this crazy first season? Both Violet (Taissa Farmiga) and Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton) are dead. In one of the worst kept secrets in television history, Violet committed suicide whereupon her ghostly psychopath boyfriend Tate Langdon (Evan Peters) hid her body in a crawl space of the Murder House. Previously, as a favor to one of the houses original occupants, Nora Montgomery (who desired even in death a baby to replace her murdered child Thaddeus) Tate raped Vivien and managed to impregnate her while she was also pregnant with a child by her husband Ben (Dylan McDermott). Vivien died in the house giving birth to the twins, the fully human one being supposedly stillborn. Or was it? In that house, how could you possibly know? You would have to wait say three or four years, when you would finally figure out that it was still, you know, a baby and stuff.

Which brings me to the secret of Murder House. Everybody that dies in the house or on the property seems to be trapped there, forever. Or that is, their spirits stay trapped there. This has been an ongoing phenomenon since the mid-twenties, when Doctor Charles Montgomery, then a world-famous "Surgeon To The Stars" built the house for his wife Nora. However, Montgomery's business suffered when he became first a drug addict, and then, well, somewhat unhinged, performing ghastly experiments to graft animal body parts together in vain attempts to create reanimated hybrids. When Nora came to the finally finished home and saw what was going on, she out his ass back to work-as an abortionist for girls wanting to be stars but who had gotten themselves "in trouble".

This went on for some time, until one of Montgomery's patients spilled the beans to her boyfriend, who took revenge on the Montgomery's by kidnapping their son Thaddeus, killing him, and chopping the poor tyke up in pieces, which is how the Montgomery's received his remains-in pieces in a box.

Driven even further insane with grief, Montgomery stitched the pieces back together and combined them with the heart from "one of our girls" (apparently an aborted fetus) and possibly some animals parts, and succeeded in bringing the infant back to "life", which turned out to be the life of a blood sucking monster. When it tried to take blood from Nora, she tried unsuccessfully to kill it with a letter opener, but it got away. Nora then killed her husband, and then herself. Poor Thaddeus apparently died of his wounds later, after some time spent living off the blood of insects and opossums. 

Charles and Nora's spirits remain trapped in the house to this day, as does Thaddeus, as indeed do the spirits of anyone else who subsequently died in the house, which would seem to include most of those who ever lived there.

So what then is the true secret of Murder House? There seems to be two different types of ghosts, those who died there and whose bodies were discovered and buried (or whose bodies were at least removed elsewhere) and those whose bodies were hidden and remain somewhere on the premises.

The latter include the following, with some caveats-

Thaddeus-assuming he actually died.

Moira the maid-who was killed, shot through the eye, by Tate's mother Constance Langdon (Angela Lange) when she discovered her being raped by her husband (who she also murdered, ground up, and fed to her dogs), and who she buried secretly on the grounds of Murder House.

Hayden-A former lover of Ben's who was the reason the family left Boston to begin with. She followed Ben there and threatened him with the news she was pregnant by him, whereupon she was killed by Larry, yet another victim of the House (one of the few surviving ones, though scarred for life by a fire inflicted on him at the hands of Tate), who prevailed upon Ben to bury her with the long buried remains of Moira, then covering them with a gazebo he constructed himself.

Violet Harmon-daughter of Ben and Vivien Harmon, she committed suicide via drug overdose. Tate, her ghost lover, hid her body in a crawl space. She did not know for some time she was dead, having forgotten her own attempt on her life. When she was unable to leave the house, Tate told her the truth and showed her own own decaying remains.

An exterminator who discovered Violet's body in the crawl space and who was subsequently killed by Tate, because Violet realize she was dead and he was waiting for the right time to tell her.

Add to this the fully human son of Vivien, and possibly the unborn child of Hayden, and you have an interesting subset of ghosts. But what is so different about them in comparison to the others?

Well, the others remain stuck at the age in which they died. But the ones whose bodies remain there seem subject to the ravages of aging. Moira, for example, was murdered as a young woman in her prime, yet appears to be now a woman past middle age, well into her fifties or possibly even sixties.

Her she is as a young woman, played by Alexandra Breckenridge. This was her age at her murder, and is the way she appears to Ben and to any man she tries to seduce.


And here she is as she appears to all others, at the age she would be had she not died, and which is apparently her normal appearance, played by Francis Conroy.




As for the Infantate, though he still wears the period clothing of an infant of the twenties, and remains that basic size, he nevertheless presents the appearance of a wizened old man well into his eighties. In fact, here is a photo of him.






Everybody else listed was of course recently dead, so it is too early for any aging to be apparent. However, I am struck by something Constance said to Moira in one of the earliest episodes. She in effect warned her that "I'll kill you again".

So it could be that a ghost whose body remains at Murder House might not just be subject to the ravages of aging but of death as well. If so, is it not about time the Infantate, or Thaddeus, die a normal death of old age? And perhaps more to the point, is it possible that all the problems caused by the vicious Hayden might be solved simply by, well, killing her?

I won't speculate any further, because with this crazy ass show, just about anything is possible. But I did want to put that out there, as I have never seen any speculation as to the reason for the aging process of Moira other than that she is an "old soul", one who nevertheless can appear in the form of a beautiful, voluptuous woman, at the age at which she was murdered, whenever it suits her. And no one has ever commented on the apparent advanced old age of Thaddeus, the Infantata.


Maybe tonight on the season finale, we'll get some answers. But probably a whole lot of other questions as well.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Tebow Time

Tim Tebow and the Broncos finally lost after a six game winning streak, but they lost to the greatest team of the last decade, led by the greatest quarterback in that time frame. But though they lost handily by a score of 41-23 they didn't do so bad at that, all things considered. They kept it close until near the end of halftime, when they were only behind by one point, 17-16. Tebow even ran the pigskin in for a touchdown once after the half.Yet Brady's Patriots pulled away and stayed in control of the second half. So the Broncos lost, which means Tebow the prayer warrior lost. And while this will doubtless make the left happy, it really surprised no one, including the right, and most especially the gamblers.

I just don't get what all the controversy is about. So Tebow takes a knee sometime before the game (or is it after? I'm not really sure), and thanks his "lord and savior Jesus Christ". Let the record reflect he also gives a shout-out to his teammates, who he seems to rally every game. He is a proven leader and is likely headed down the path to an exceptional career.

I can understand why people might think Tebow's public prayer service is silly. or a distraction, or why they just don't like it, feel its inappropriate, whatever. But is it really that big a deal? I think this is just another ginned up media controversy myself. It's not like he's really praying for God to give him a win. He's just, you know, thanking him and stuff?

Nevertheless, you get fools like Bill Press chiming in, and you realize what its all about. In his and probably many other cases, it's likely just another way for some mediocre hack to draw attention to himself, and then whine about the lack of respect for his First Amendment rights when he is criticized, even though he is being purposely strident for that very reason. And let's face it, you don't get much more strident than telling somebody to "STFU about Jesus", as Press put it. Now you even have some idiot Rabbi inferring that if Tim Tebow were to somehow win the Super Bowl (which is not going to happen-sorry, not this year), it could lead to the Holocaust.

So far of course all that's happened is some high school kids took a knee in the school hallway between classes, which lead to an in-school suspension for the two brothers who instigated the "Tebowing" incident. Well, you know, you have to get to these potential brown-shirts while they're young, because otherwise, you never can tell. One day its praying in the hallways, and the next thing you know, its Krystalknacht all over again.

What really bothers the left, of course, is that Tebow is so widely admired by conservative Christians, who see him as a spokesman for Christian values, such as the pro-life movement. In other words, a repudiation of leftist "values". In fact, this so bothers the left there is a movement called 10 For Tebow that encourages donations to Pro-Choice causes every time Tebow scores a touchdown.

But leftists can relax a bit for now. Again, Tebow lost tonight to the Patriots, led by quarterback Tom Brady, who in 2004 supported the re-election of George W. Bush.

Whoops!

It's too bad I never had the talent to be an NFL quarterback. I could envision myself offering the sacrifice of a pig to Ares at the start of every game, and pissing off as many aggrieved groups as I possibly could. Not only due to Christian sensibilities regarding pagan rituals, but Muslims and Jews would find it doubly offensive due to the use of the pig. Vegetarians and animals rights groups would also have me in their cross-hairs, and by invoking Ares I can be sure to piss off the peaceniks as well. By that time I'd have managed to infuriate every other special interest group due to the solidarity of the left, sort of like a group of brain dead zombies in a George Romero film, folks who, having that one thing in common, exercise a kind of unreasoned, even nonsensical cohesiveness.

But at the end of the day, most people would only give a damn about how I played the fucking game. And that's the way it should be.


Friday, December 16, 2011

Invasion Of The Booger Eaters

People should be concerned about the recent rise in the polls of Texas Congressman Ron Paul who is currently polling in second or third place in Iowa, in some cases with more than twenty percent support. Can it hold? I doubt it, but every time a candidate rises, he either crashes and burn like Rick Perry, or his support leaks out as from a balloon, as is the case currently with Newt Gingrich. When this happens, people give somebody else a look, and right now, Ron Paul seems to be the main beneficiary of Gingrich's loss of support.

This is mainly disturbing in view of Paul's core group of supporters, who tend to be mainly comprised of Nazis, Klansmen, and not a few booger-eating conspiracy theorists. Then you have those who seem to gravitate freely amongst all groups of Paul supporters, such as is the case here.

Some Paul supporters are undoubtedly intelligent, thoughtful, and well-meaning, but make no mistake, what will wreck Paul's campaign in the long run are those "others". The American Thinker compiled a list of them as far back as 2007. Reason Magazine also came out with a post that identified the author and ghost-writer of many past Ron Paul newsletters, racist and antisemitic screeds which have been denied by Paul supporters and by Paul himself. But it turns out they were according to many reliable sources penned by none other than Lew Rockwell, a longtime Paul friend and supporter on up to this day.

But if you still need convincing, look no further than the horses mouth, the well-known Stormfront, where there is still no shortage of expressions of loyalty to Ron Paul. Interestingly enough, Paul refuses to disavow the support even of radical Neo-Nazis and Klansmen such as this, and gladly accepts donations from them as well.

Does this mean Paul is himself a racist and antisemite? No, I don't think so. They support Paul mainly because of his opposition to the federal reserve and his intention to end the welfare state in the course of slashing government spending. They also object to the Neocon policies that put America in the position of being the "policeman of the world" as Paul puts it. Do you see the problem here? If a Klansman or Nazi said it was raining in the middle of a thunderstorm, or declared support for the death penalty against rapists and murderers, one would be hard pressed to argue the point. But it would still be an embarrassment.

Yet, surely you can agree with even the most loathsome of people over specific issues without accepting their political support and endorsements, and taking their money. Paul has not yet learned that lesson, which is precisely what brings his integrity into disrepute.

Moreover, some of Paul's policies go beyond borderline racist into a dangerous naivete. The recent interception by Russia of radioactive materials targeted for transfer to Iran, as described at The Other McCain proves that point. Yet Paul insists to this day that Iran could be our friends, if we would only reach out. You know, sort of like Obama did when he first ran. How did that work out again?

To paraphrase an old saying, the Paultards would be dangerous if they had brains. Unfortunately, they seem to have one brain collectively among them, in the form of an octogenarian, naive libertarian idealist whose reasoning power is questionable at best. They will follow him to the gates of hell. And they want to make you follow him too.

Unfortunately, while he will not win the GOP nomination, he could indeed cause problems with perception for the Republican brand. Or more precisely, his followers could. Make no mistake, their legions might not be so huge as their passion infers, but they are out there (way out there).

And they are amongst us. Some of them are racists adherents of the Klan or some other neonazi organization or ideology. And some of them are merely the kind of deranged neurotic, possibly even psychotic type of person who genuinely believes the government planned out 9/11 possibly with the aid of Mossad and even members of a complicit media, for some mind-numbing purpose I have never completely been able to comprehend. These are the kinds of people who've spent their whole lives thinking somebody, somewhere, in some cases possibly from a galaxy far, far away, have been out to get them. And of course, all of us. They've just been smart enough to figure it out. And their leader, their savior, is Doctor Ron Paul.

Because Dr. Paul can make things right, you see. He can, yes, make it all right for them to step out of the shadows, lo, after all this time of living in fear and shame.